"'Cause I'm a karate man, see! And a karate man bruises on the inside! They don't show their weakness. But you don't know that because you're a big Barry White looking motherfucker!" - Eddie Murphy, "Trading Places" 
It's always nice to recall a time when Eddie Murphy was funny. It's been at least 10 years since that was the case, but for awhile, he was at the top of the charts. I'm not feeling particularly humorous as I have a holiday party to attend tonight, and all I want to do is anything but that.
Oh well, I believe I'm well enough to pour some alcohol down my throat, but before I dress up and find the bar, let's look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Star Magazine recently reported that Jamie Lynn Spears is fearful that the liposuction she had while pregnant could have caused long-term harm to baby Maddie.
In the Dec. 15 issue of the magazine, 'Star' reported that Jamie Lynn had just finished her Nickelodeon show "Zoey 101" when she started gaining weight, and not realizing she was expecting, she asked her mom to let her get liposuction.
"She didn't know she was pregnant when she filled out the health questionnaire prior to the procedure," a second source reveals. "Her mom approved the injections and went through tons of red tape to get the clinic to administer them to an underage patient."
Spears denied the accusations and is considering suing the magazine. 
Spears is also considering a suit against the doctors involved because they might have sucked out part of her brain as well.
Alex Rodriguez and Madonna spent time together recently in Mexico City where the pop star was performing. When asked what he thought about being in the city at the same time as Madonna, Rodriguez said it was "very good," without elaborating.
He then made the universal sign of putting his index finger through a hole formed by his other hand and smirked, but refused to comment.
Winona Ryder is said to be under investigation by the authorities in Madrid, Spain after being accused of losing $125,000 of diamonds loaned to her.
The actress was given a Bulgari diamond encrusted bracelet and ring to wear for a Marie Claire magazine party last weekend, but she later reported the items missing after giving them to the staff of a Madrid hotel for safekeeping. But the hotel management claims they have no surveillance footage that shows the star handing over the jewels.
The hotel does, however, have footage of Ryder slipping them into her purse and running for the door, which might hurt her case.
Lawyers for Roman Polanski, a fugitive for 30 years in a notorious sex case involving a 13-year-old girl, filed a request Tuesday to dismiss the charge against him because of prosecutorial and judicial misconduct.
The suit cites a documentary about the filmmaker released earlier this year which showed "a pattern of misconduct and improper communications" between the district attorney's office and the judge in Polanski's case.
Poland-born Polanski, 75, has been living in France in self-imposed exile from the United States since fleeing in 1978 after pleading guilty to having sex with a 13-year-old girl in Los Angeles. 
If the suit goes to trial, Polanski plans to call R. Kelly as his chief character witness.
Patrick Swayze lashed out at tabloid reports claiming he is losing his fight against pancreatic cancer.
Says Swayze: "They're reporting that I'm on my last legs and saying goodbye to my tearful family! ... It's upsetting that the shoddy and reckless reporting from these publications cast a negative shadow on the positive and good fight I'm fighting."
I'm glad that Swayze is winning his battle, but he went a little too far when he stated that ". . . And if you want to see great fighting, then just go rent "Road House."
Kirsten Dunst's assistant recently performed a citizen's arrest on a man who bypassed security and showed up at the actress' Hollywood home in November. Dunst was not home at the time.
Dunst later sought a restraining order against Christopher Smith after his arrest, stating that she is "quite frightened" of him. 
Dunst also said that she is "quite disappointed" in Tobey Maguire, aka Spider Man, for his inability to save her.
Heidi Montag's mom said this week that she is less than pleased with her daughter's elopement to Spencer Pratt.
"I think it's the biggest mistake Heidi's ever made," Darlene Egelhoff told "US Weekly"
Egelhoff gives the marriage "six months" to last and also said about Pratt: "He's manipulative and seems to have power over Heidi," she said. "I would like to see a blood test from Mexico. It wouldn’t surprise me if he had her drugged."
At least there seems to be one intelligent member of the Montag household.
As always, let's end with a gold image (s):
These aren't exactly Christmas colors, but I guess a little patriotic red, white and blue will have to do. So, don't be constricted by color schemes today, know that bold lingerie choices are usually a fine thing and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
I am laughing out loud at the A-Rod comment! I get the funniest mental picture. haha
Enjoy the party tonight and try not to embarrass yourself, ok?
But when does Polanski stand trial for the awful films he's made. That's right. Ninth Gate sucked. Want proof, watch it. No, no, don't watch it. Just take my word for it. It sucked. It could have been such a cool movie but somebody ruined it. Somebody ruined it bad.
Jlee - Me, embarrass myself? Please. Ha. And I'm still not feeling 100% after being sick, so the odds are probably even lower. The odds of me slinking out the back when nobody is looking, however, have been increased.
WhatIgot - The book that Ninth Gate was bsaed on - The Club Dumas - is great. Read that & I know the movie wasn't good, however, I still liked it. I'm not entirely sure why.
The MAIN long-term harm to baby Maddie ? The last name "Spears".
Alex Rodriguez may not yet realize he would be MUCH safer sticking a more private extremity through a hole formed by his other hand !
As far as Winona Ryder - Hey. Lost, Stolen, it's all the same isn't it ?!? lol.
I wish R. Kelly would take a page out of Roman Polanski's rule book and try that "self-imposed exile" deal.
I actually thought Patrick Swayze had been done in ever SINCE Roadhouse.
Kirsten Dunst should have nothing to worry about. If she ever faces harm via a stranger, she could simply show them her teeth, and they'd probably run like hell.
Hell, I know I'D give Heidi Montag 6 months ! Oh yeah !
And in closing, part of me just gained a little color as well !
Great detail. I agree about Spears although Britney is trying to rally the name, A-Rod can do far better, Road House is so bad it's actually good, I almost used that teeth joke about Dunst & that would be a long six months for Montag I'm sure. Ha. Have a good weekend Heff.
Happy Friday guys!!
Whaaaaa the .... you didn't like the Nutty Professor???
Ha, have "fun" at the work shindig sucka!
While holiday parties can be fun, the ones you don't want to attend can be like a slow dental procedure. Good luck with that.
What about the movie where Eddie gets caught by police after picking up a transvestite prostitute... oh, wait... that wasn't a movie. That really happened. But it was funny!
And I love the rumors swirling about that Arod is stalking some model. I would guess that it's dangerous to screw around on Madonna. Happy Friday!!
I'm laughing at Wendy's Eddie Murphy comment - Trading Places is a great movie, with many great scenes and quotes... we STILL say "Lookin' Good Lewis" and answer "Feelin' Good" whenever we're leaving for an event and we're dressed up.
As for Madonna and A-Rod... I just don't get it... but then I've never forgiven him for leaving the Mariners. Ass.
Happy Friday - enjoy that party, but remember not to drinkee too much and say something you'll regret. ;-)
Nobich - Happy Friday back at you.
Miss Ash - That is the one exception I would list (and only the first movie). I'll have so much fun I could puke. Ha. Happy Friday.
Bostonpobble - Holiday parties with friends can be adventuresome & enjoyable, however, company parties only hold any validity for someone else to embarrass themself behind belief. I can learn about that on Monday morning & skip the party (but I won't).
Wendy - That should have been a movie, but his excuse for picking the transvestite up was even funnier. He's just a good samaritan . . . Ha. Happy Friday.
Linda - I hadn't heard those yet, but you're right about Madonna as A-Rod should be scared - her arms are terrifying and could break him.
A.B. - I still occasionally break out that line too. Ha. 'Feeling good Billy Ray.' Good stuff. As for A-Rod, I was fine when he left Texas because they stunk with him, so there was nowhere to go but up. Finally, I don't plan to drink too much as I'm still only about 75% back to healthy (but have hit the gym the past 3 days). Have a great weekend.
I've never heard of the bottom-three celebritards but that's okay.
It kills me that Ryder's third-rate lawyer managed to parlay her case into a lucrative career as a TV Lawyer jack-ass willing to make declarative judgements about high-profile cases he knows NOTHING about.
A monkey could have represented her with the same result. And probably at a lower fee.
Winona and Polanski are GUILTY as HELL. Ticks me off when celebrities get away with stuff.
Color me outraged!
O.J. - Go Directly To Jail, Do Not Pass Go.
THeTroll - Nobody needs to know who Spencer/Hedi are, but I'm somewhat surprised you haven't heard of Swayze . .. maybe I counted wrong. And I've probably seen Ryder's attorney pontificating on TV about some celeb case, but he doesn't ring a bell right now. I'm almost finished w/ The Shield post & will throw it up on Monday.
O.J. - I honestly think you got the shaft on sentencing for this crime, but then again, I also think you cheated the system once, so . . .
HEff - 9 years at least before parole eligibility. That is serious.
After seeing For the Record: BritneySspears the other night I'm kind of feeling a bit sorry for the Spears clan. I know...I'm a sap.
That's actually one of the nicer pics I've seen of Madonna in a long time. Usually she looks like a piece of gristle as Guy Ritchie so aptly put it.
I'm wondering if Winona has been using the proceeds from her ill gotten gains for breast enhancements. God knows she can't be making much of a living in the movie world these days.
By the way Heff and Wendy, your comments had me laughing my ass off.
I hope you don't have to suffer long at the party B. Just have a few medicinal drinks and then beat a hasty retreat at your earliest convenience. You're used to doing that at meetings...yes? A party should be a piece of cake especially when you enter booze into the equation. No-one will notice a thing. Feel better soon :)
I don't get the Madonna - A-Rod thing either. Hello? Has he seen his ex(estranged?)-wife?
the Arod comment was the best..
I really don't know what to add the any of the rest, except... no, nothing. it's not worth it.
13 years old...
Romany Angel - I heard about that program, and I don't root against Britney as she doesn't seem to a bad person, just not particularly bright. Good for her getting it together. I know what you mean about Madonna as she is looking somewhat terrifying, Ryder does look seriously busty in that picture, I did make it through the party, but unfortunately without the aid of booze as I'm just now feeling better. Finally. Hope yr. weekend went well.
Native Minnow - He seems to be trading down from that perspective as his ex was good-looking, and I guarantee you he could do far better than Madonna who just looks scary these days. Powerful, but scary.
Slopmaster - Thanks as I was searching for something to say about that story for a long time, and that hand gesture always cracks me up for some reason.