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Spitzer Swallows It Whole . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Eliot Spitzer sounds like a porn name.

I always thought this to be true of the New York Governor, but now, if things play out like I think they will, Spitzer might have to resort to an adult industry to make the rent after this high-priced escort scandal. If you've been sniffing glue or hibernating for the past two days, Spitzer is facing calls for his resignation after being linked to the prostitution services of the Emperor's Club VIP.

“I have acted in a way that violates my obligations to my family and violates my, or any, sense of right and wrong,” the governor said. “I apologize first and most importantly to my family. I apologize to the public to whom I promised better.”

According to the affidavit, Spitzer paid $4,300 for an appointment that began on Feb. 13th, and ended at 12:02 a.m. the next day. The report also indicated that Spitzer had used the prostitution service before, although it was unclear how often he dipped his hand in the cookie jar.

The Associated Press has reported that Spitzer has paid out $80,000 to the service for past performance.

Ignoring the potential moral and legal ramifications of this allegation, I want to simply focus on the economic factor because $4,300 seems like a hell of a lot of money for an escort. For that kind of cash, I would expect at least 3 women, some party drugs and a vat of whipped cream or I would feel ripped off.

Even if those items were thrown into the mix I would spring for some black market Viagra to make sure I had more than one or two bullets in the chamber. If I'm shelling out $4,300 then I'm making a long night of it.

The other issue I had with Spitzer's arrangement was that he apparently flew this escort from New York to Washington D.C. This seems like an unnecessary expense, and one that must have upped the price tag. If you needed a prostitute in D.C., I would imagine you could find a plethora of high-end services which were local rather than situated on the Coast.

Quite simply, if Spitzer couldn't make better monetary decisions when it comes to high-end hookers, how could he ever balance a government budget?

He might not get the chance as the wolves are nipping at his heels for his impeachment or resignation. It doesn't take a mystic to predict an ugly outcome, however, I am still amazed at the money it takes for a high-end escort these days.

It must be a rarified circle that you move in when $4,300 for a night of fun seems reasonable, over and over again.



  1. Miss Ash Says:
  2. I'm clearly in the wrong profession!

    As well, I can never understand why the wife always stands by her man. Crap....I just turned into Tammy Wynette.

  3. Heff Says:
  4. I watched a piece about this on the Today Show this morning, and they actually used the term "Made a mistake", like he accidentally stepped in dog shit or something. Amazing !

  5. Miss Ash - I always wonder about the wives as well as it seems especially cruel when they are trotted out at press conferences to listen to their husband apologize to the media. Ridiculous.

    Heff - It's always a 'mistake.' Ha. Apparently, he made this mistake over and over again, so I don't see how this applies directly. I wish he would just say, "I did it. I loved it. But it was wrong." That would be nice.

  6. Jeez, I've been thinking the very same thing; $5,000 bucks???? Not only am I mad that he's a wanker for doing this while supposedly upholding the law, being involved with the Mob....but paying this amount of money for sex? I can only imagine what the budget for the State of New York looks like right now.

    Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.

  7. nobich Says:
  8. yes, what exactly does she do for that kind of money hmmmm....

  9. Anonymous Boxer - Wanker indeed. I know what you mean as that's what is getting Spitzer in the most trouble as most people (myself included) cannot stand hypocrites. It was a dumb move and very poorly executed.

    Nobich - I heard it was for unprotected sex. That's what Spitzer - or Clien 9 - asked for. Not sure if that's true or not.

  10. Vehicle insurance companies up north here are starting to say that there are no such things as accidents. All incidents on the road, and in life, are preventable with the application of some common sense. Spitzer made no mistakes. Under this way of thinking, his actions were intentional, not mistakes or accidents.
    I agree about the price. I would be expecting something pretty spiritual for that kind of cash. I wonder if it's worth it.

  11. Wendy Says:
  12. He'll be fine. It's happened to so many men in high-profile positions. They end up getting divorced, writing a book, and then becoming a six-figure-earning business consultant. His kids, however, will hate the bastard forever.

  13. Linda Says:
  14. This whole thing makes my skin crawl. From the gross overspending (agree with all points made here)to the infidelity ... then I found out he had 3 daughters! He deserves a public bitch-slap from his whole family. Now that would be a press conference!

  15. Getoffmylawn - Agreed. "Mistakes" don't apply in this situation at all for the reasons you listed. And I like the spiritual angle too because that's the plane I would want to reach for nearly 5 grand.

    Wendy - Ha. I figured there would be the book deal in there somewhere. That being said, I would be slightly curious to read some exerpts (sp?) if Spitzer would divulge all the details and come clean. Maybe a libary rental . . .

    Linda - I would have definitely watched his press conference is a bitch slap was involved as I simply read the story on the Web. I also read about his daughters yesterday too, which makes things all the worse. From top to bottom, this is just a bad story with no good decisions being made from Spitzer.

  16. H.Wood Says:
  17. No one should be shocked. This is the type of person who gets into politics - it's OK for me, but not for you.

    Check out what's going on with the mayor of Detroit. That dude has strippers killed off.

  18. vivavavoom Says:
  19. for $4300 I hope she swallowed and didn't spitzer.

  20. Hell, now I'm thinking of becoming a high end escort if they can bring in that kind of money. Granted, I'm nowhere near as hot as she is, or female, but let's not get bogged down in the details, ok?

  21. H. Wood - I know. It's not like this hasn't happened before or will again, but Spitzer has been so high profile against corruption, greed, etc. that it was still vaguely surprising. And I just saw that about the Detroit mayor yesterday. That's taking it to another level.

    Vivavavoom - Ha. I was going for a play on Spizter's name with my title, and I agree that should have occurred, however, it still wouldn't be worth $4,300.

    Native Minnow - Leaving details aside, that is a hell of an hourly rate. I'm not sure what percentage the company takes off the top, but it's still better than I make by far.

  22. Gypsy Says:
  23. I wouldn't accept anything less than $10,000 to sleep with him He's butt ugly and has big ears. His missus is WAY too good for him. What the hell was she thinking?

  24. Heff Says:
  25. Hey. You know what they say about big ears ? C'mon !

  26. Heff Says:
  27. David Letterman's Top Ten Spitzer Excuses

    10 Oh come on, like you were never involved in a prostitution ring

    9 Hookers is fun

    8 Just trying to help the economy

    7 Have you ever been to Albany?

    6 It's part of my new MTV prank show "Spitz'd"

    5 Haven't been myself since Roy Schieder died

    4 Uh, tainted beef?

    3 Whether it's a hooker or your wife, you're always paying for it -- you married fellas know what I'm talking about

    2 Wanted to be known as the Charlie Sheen of politics

    1 I thought Bill Clinton legalized this years ago

  28. Gypsy - You're really upping the ante as I think $4,300 is highway robbery. Ha. But did you really tack on $5,700 for the big ears? We all have those things that really turn us off . . . And I agree that his wife is too good.

    Heff - I thought it was big feet. Regardless, I think they're both bunk. But, thanks for sharing that Top 10 list - it was one of the better ones I've seen & I love #3 and #10 (though all were good).

  29. Franki Says:
  30. hooker wasn't even that hot. all mystifying.

    makes one wonder what kinda tastes spitzer's fantasies ran towards.

    1. wife won't do it
    2. hookers got to get paid A LOT to do it.


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