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Quick Hit Good Friday . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Friday, March 21, 2008

"This is a serious exercise. It's like an SAT question. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first? The male-friendly lesbian, the man-hating dyke, Santa Claus, or the Easter bunny? " - Jason Lee, "Chasing Amy"

I already used a quote from this movie a few months ago, however, it was the only one featuring the Easter Bunny that came to my mind. It's Good Friday, and I've got driving to perform as I have to visit family who live more than six hours away from Austin.

Easter is usually an ugly holiday due to such traveling over a short period of time, but with the appropriate music and some Cadbury creme eggs, it will all work out fine.

Before I hit the road, let's look at the important stories of the week such as:

A judge awarded Heather Mills a total of $48.6 million Monday in the financial settlement of her divorce from former Beatle Paul McCartney. A document released by the Family Court said the judge awarded Mills a lump sum of $33 million plus the assets she currently holds worth $15.6 million.

Following the closed hearing, McCartney was heard complaining loudly that "she wanted an arm and a leg from me and she got it."

Halle Berry gave birth to a baby girl Sunday, and "is doing great," her publicist Meredith O'Sullivan told The father is 32-year-old model Gabriel Aubry, and the pair met while shooting a Versace ad in Los Angeles two years ago.

I feel sorry for that little girl as she is going to be so damn ugly when she grows up with such an inferior gene pool to work with.

Ashley Alexandra Dupre, the call girl at the center of the Elliot Spitzer sex scandal, saw a $1 million offer from "Girls Gone Wild" to pose nude in a magazine be withdrawn after the company discovered videos of a semi-nude Dupre, now 22, in its archives.

The company plans to sell them on its Web site, a company spokesman said.

This is just another reason not to get drunk and show your tits for free - always charge money - as it could cost you a lot more cash one day when you've become a high-priced escort and taken down a major public figure.

Shia LeBeouf became a fugitive from the law Tuesday after he failed to appear in court to face a ticket for smoking where you're not supposed to.

The actor was caught smoking a cigarette on the street of a protected shopping district Feb. 18 in Burbank, CA which was in violation of a local ordinance. A publicist for the 21-year-old "Transformers" star had no comment on the bench warrant other than to say LaBeouf didn't have legal representation for such matters.

LeBeouf was arrested earlier in the year for loitering at a Walgreens store while allegedly drunk.

One of these days, LeBeouf might actually get in trouble with the law for a real crime which doesn't make him look silly and ridiculous.

Lurid video stills began circulating earlier this week, showing what some have claimed is “Sex and The City” star Kristin Davis, caught in an explicit act.

A representative for Davis told Access Hollywood it is not the actress featured in the racy video images.

I'm not convinced the pictures are actually of Davis having sex in a city, however, it's hard to credibly deny them when you've been on "Sex in the City" for many years - life imitates art.

Since we're talking sex, let's end with an image that is a reversion, but still interesting:

I don't find this sexy per se, however, it is impressive and the only image I had available to me. So, make do with what you have over Easter, make it a big holiday and . . . Happy Good Friday!



  1. Heff Says:
  2. Happy Easter, 2Dollar. I plan to eat the heads off all of my son's marshmallow peeps this weekend. That's always good for a holiday laugh.

  3. JLee Says:
  4. I guess Dupre is kicking herself for showing the goodies for free back in the day. I heard she was only 17 when she did the GGW, so not many have business savvy at that age. ha
    Did you hear Spitzer got an offer by Playgirl!? What the hell? I don't want to see his naked ass...

    Happy Good Friday. Eat a peep for Jesus!

  5. Miss Ash Says:
  6. Safe drive and Happy Easter!!

  7. Wendy Says:
  8. Heather Mills, bleah. I tried so hard to sympathize with her, especially when she was getting death threats, but she seems like such a crazy biznatch.

    And, by the way, ow. That last picture makes my boobs hurt.

  9. A guy could DIE motorboating those things. We're talking serious head trauma here. That's probably why you don't find that last picture very sexy (nor do I).

  10. I always like your roundup for the week - I missed a few of these gems this week. I look forward to never hearing about H.Mills again -
    Enjoy your weekend,drive safe, eat lots of candy and.... I see you've returned to your less than arty last shot.


  11. Luka Says:
  12. Have a good Easter!

    That last picture almost had my eye out.

  13. nobich Says:
  14. That last pic is making my back hurt.she's probably a huge pasta eater. Pasta that's the key.

  15. Linda Says:
  16. Good recap. I too think Easter is a tough weekend for travel. I'm off to see the kids in NYC. It'll be worth the trip! Travel safely, Happy Friday and Happy Easter ........

  17. I wonder if that woman in the last pic has had a breast job.

    Hapyy Easter BDS. :) Make sure all the hidden eggs are accounted for.

  18. BostonPobble Says:
  19. Safe home during your travels. No need to test that resurrection just yet. And jlee ~ "eat a peep for Jesus" is easily one of the funniest things I have read all week (sorry $$).

  20. JLee Says:
  21. Thanks, BP! I thought I should copyright it. ;)

  22. Gypsy Says:
  23. Just stopped by to wish you and your wife a wonderful Easter. Drive safely and watch out for marauding Easter bunnies.

    That last pic almost made me lose the last chocolate bunny I ate.

  24. vivavavoom Says:
  25. ahhhh.yes, "the man hating dyke...because the rest are figments (?)of your imagination'.
    those breasts at the end gave me an instant backache. that is SO more than a mouthful...and a waste of silicone. i mean, we all need to start to conserve for the planet...and that is like the Hummer of breast augmentations!

    hope you had a good easter...praise the bunny!

  26. Heff - Hope you got plenty of Peeps to behead as nothing says Easter like some sugar decapitations. Ha. I'll go with a few Cadbury eggs myself with less chance of emotional scarring. Have a good one.

    Jlee - Dupre did cost herself a lot of money, but at you noted, she probably wasn't thinking too far ahead at 17. Who knows at 17 that they will become a high-priced escort to the rich and famous? I'll just ingore that Spitzer - Playgirl item as that sounds like a bad move for everyone involved. Ha. Happy Easter (though no Peeps for me).

    Miss Ash - Thanks. I hope you had a good Holiday yourself, and the drive was brutal, but safe.

    Wendy - I know what you means about Mills. She seemed reasonable for about half a second, however, that ship has sailed. As for the final picture, I can imagine, as that lady looks pained just sitting there with those things.

    Native Minnow - Motorboating indeed. Ha. That would put you in a neckbrace for sure as things would get dangerous in a hurry. It's not sexy, but it is interesting.

    Anonymous Boxer - I knew you would be disappointed with the last shot. Ha. I was traveling, and had no time and it was the only shot I had to use - excuses, excuses, eh? Happy Easter.

    Luka - Happy Easter across the pond, and that last pic jumps off the screen. I should have put out a disclaimer.

    Nobich - I bet some amount of pasta was involved, and a hell of a lot of surgery.

    Linda - You're right about Easter travel, but it's usually worth hit. Happy Easter, and hope your travels were/are safe and enjoyable.

    Upset Waittress - Thanks, and I hope you had a good Easter as well. That last statement about hidden eggs is prophetic because if you don't find them all, it stinks like hell in a hurry.

    Bostonpobble - Hope your holiday went well - even if you did sell me down the river on the laughs. Ha.

    Jlee - See above comment - you're no longer welcome around here. Ha. Maybe you should make some t-shirts, eh?

    Gypsy - Great to see you around, and I appreciate the Easter wishes. I hope you had a good one, and I'm sorry about the last pic as it might cause a little backwash of chocolate. These things happen.

    Vivavavoom - I was hoping somebody would finish that quote. Ha. Nice job. I praised the bunny far too much this weekend, but all went well. I would like to praise silicone on that woman - she is a Guinness record holder by the way - but that is too much for even me to swallow. Happy Easter.

  27. Grace Says:
  28. Oh... my... God...

    I don't think I'll ever be the same after that last pic of yours. I think you owe us a sexy guy pic next week in return for making us suffer through that one this week.

  29. I know. I should have warned people before putting that last one out there for consumption. I'll work on that pic for this week - but don't consider it a done deal. Ha.


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