"So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure fuck it, while I'm at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president," - Matt Damon, "Good Will Hunting"
It's finally fall in Austin this week as the sun is shining, it's about 75 degrees during the day and the humidity has vanished faster than Britney Spear's visitation rights. So, before I run for a bar with a nice patio, let's tackle some stories like:
J.K. Rowlings recently revealed that master wizard Albus Dumbledore is gay as the British author stunned her fans at Carnegie Hall when she answered one young reader's question about Dumbledore by saying that he was gay and had been in love with Grindelwald, whom he had defeated years ago in a bitter fight.
Rowling later revealed that she was also forced to cut a dramatic passage before the Wizards duel which featured Dumbledore and Gindelwald raising sheep on a harsh and unrelenting hillside because of plagiarism fears from "Brokeback Mountain."
Kid Rock spent most of Sunday in jail after he got into a scuffle with a man outside a suburban Atlanta Waffle House, cops said.
The rocker and five members of his entourage were charged with simple battery after the predawn fight with a man police identified as Harlen Akins. Akins, 39, got into a shouting match with a female friend who was accompanying Kid Rock's posse and then got into a physical fight.
If this incident proves anything, it shows that even with a recent #1 selling album under your belt, there is no better way to say "I've made it" than celebrating at a Waffle House.
P. Diddy has entered a multiyear partnership with boozemaker Diageo PLC to promote the company's Ciroc vodka brand in a deal that could net him over $100 million.
Under the terms of the agreement, the artist otherwise known as Sean Combs will have a hand in everything from marketing the line of booze to determining where it will be sold and take home 50 percent of the profits from his labors.
There's no word about the Vodka's taste, however, it is likely to include samples of many better-testing brands currently on the market.
Before a stunned television audience, Marie Osmond collapsed after her samba routine on "Dancing With the Stars," but recovered enough to get her scores and apologize.
"This happens sometimes when I get winded," a visibly embarrassed Osmond, 48, told co-host Samantha Harris. "I'm so sorry."
Osmond later added that when she breaks wind, EVERYBODY faints.
With the feds on his case, David Copperfield scrapped a series of engagements in Southeast Asia as the FBI investigates allegations he sexually assaulted an unidentified Seattle woman.
Whatever the reason, the 51-year-old Copperfield remains in the U.S. following last Wednesday's FBI search of his sprawling Las Vegas warehouse and a theater at the MGM Grand Hotel and Casino where he regularly performs. 
I don't know much about magic, but if I were that unidentified Seattle woman, I'd be terrified that Copperfield would make me "disappear" forever - unless magic really is a sham.
Halle Berry issued a public mea culpa for a quip made on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, where she joked that a photograph making her nose look unusually large could pass for a picture of "my Jewish cousin."
Berry said, "This one, I don't know, this is like my Jewish cousin." The full remark never made it on air, however, as the audience's silence at the attempted joke was covered with a laugh track and the word Jewish was muted out.
Somewhere in the world, Mel Gibson raised a silent toast to Berry.
Eyebrows shot sky-high over the weekend when surfer Kelly Slater tussled with paparazzi while making the scene in Tel Aviv with Bar Refaeli, the model who took Gisele Bundchen's place on Leonardo DiCaprio's arm shortly after the Brazilian bombshell rebounded with the bald-plated wave rider.
Clear as mud right?
Anyway, it's been reported that Refaeli and Leo's relationship is through, which was reported by People.
"The relationship ran its course," explains the insider. "It's bad enough having a cross-country relationship, but it's obviously a lot more difficult trying to maintain a relationship across oceans, and across continents, when both of them are very busy." 
Cry me a river Leo as it must be tough trying to decide which supermodel to hopscotch to next, and this sentiment obviously has nothing to do with a pure and unrelenting jealousy on my part. Never.
But let's not end with ill feelings on such a perfect day. Instead, let's conclude with this: 
I love a freshly iced cake, and I am all for leaning forward to make sure things are done correctly. So, take pride in your work, don't concern yourself with strangers staring over your shoulder and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
Sure, cake is nice, but I prefer some hot apple pie.
"There's no word about the Vodka's taste, however, it is likely to include samples of many better-testing brands currently on the market."
- That was EXTREMELY WELL PUT, lol.
WhatIgot - It's hard to argue with either of those, but I've heard that third base feels like warm apple pie or so a movie once said.
Heff - Thanks as it was a last-minute addition because I was drawing a blank for the longest time. It's also a shitload of money for next to no work for him.
what a week! I have been too busy to check Perez so I love your recaps! I wish Marie Osmond would get voted off that show. I watch it with my kids, and she creeps me out. She is just a tad too close to her brothers, espeically Donny, for my taste. Those crazy Mormons!
So funny how Halle Berry says something contoversial and stereotypical and it nicely disappears or gets edited out, but if someone else did...lets say a white male, it probably wouldn't.
And anything with P.Diddy's name on it....espcially alcohol, I would avoid anyways. he is one of the most overrated people in show business. There are much better producers out there, he just is the king of marketing, so i give him props for selling out very well.
Sean Puffy P.Diddy Mo' Shitty Combs' day will come, probably compliments of a shoot out in the future. He's a knuckle-dragger in a nice suit.
Vivavavoom - I'm glad this caught you up on some of the more important things, and you're right about Diddy & I'm also a little surprised the Berry thing didn't catch more flak.
Heff - You would think so, but he's still doing well despite a lack of obvious talent. He's doing something right I guess.
As a member of the Hebrew persuasion (and someone whose nose was once far more substantial than it is today), the Halle comment doesn't offend me, but I do find it interesting that she isn't being forced to take tolerance classes or a meeting with a rabbinical group. How about this: she can come to my house and I'll force her to drink a jar of that jelled stuff they use to preserve gefilte fish. Bleah.
And with P.Diddy's announcement the stock of Cristal fell straight down.....
It's been a long week too, so I'm glad for the recap.
Happy Friday 2$
zWendy - I'm also surprised there wasn't some kind of classes or something as well. But your idea sounds like an excellent one as I know of this gefilte fish and that would be fun to watch.
Anonymous Boxer - Have a good weekend, and maybe Cristal will now be affordable. But I'll use in a hottub setting. Ha.
Happy Friday to you guys too!!!
Ah ~ fall. Glad it's made its way to Austin. Enjoy!
Copperfield is creepy looking :|
I like Wendy's idea....just send Halle some manishevitz (sp?)and all the traditional yom kippur fare and tell her she has to finish all of it in one sitting. there is some penance.
Yeah, JT definitely knows how to do it right - from Cameron Diaz, to Jessica Biel to Rhiana and then back to Jessica Biel?!? Throw in Sylvia Saint and maybe Aveva Lee and it'd be like the guy was reading my mind.
Excuse me for letting my lesbianism out, but....Dayyum Halle Berry looks good in that position. I love that woman!
Hi! Isn't this weather fantastic??? I've not been commenting on your blog much but I am still reading it. Hope you have a good weekend. : )
You KNOW Mel was close by when Berry made that statement. Rubbing his hands together, smiling in a sinister fashion, and thinking of the how he might be able to blame 911 on Jewish people too... without doing so in a blatant and too controversial manner that might curb profits. He's the Devil, I tell you.
Nobich - Happy Friday right back at you.
Bostonpobble - Great to hear from you, and I appreciate the sentiment. I will be outside quite often this weekend.
Miss Ash - Yeah, David looks more than a little smarmy to me as well. Magicians, eh?
Vivavavoom - Yes. A little penance would be good, and Berry has been scrambling to apologize a lot since then. Go figure.
Idig - I'm right with you on Saint, but don't know about he Lee as I have never heard of her, which obviously is a character flaw that's on me (and one I will correct).
Trina - I like Halle a hell of a lot myself, and I loved this picture so much that I had to post it even though it wasn't completely appropriate to the story. ha.
Symplyamused - It's great to see you back, and also great that you're getting this weather too. It's just about perfect.
Getoffmylawn - Ha. Yeah, that's just about the same mental picture I had of Mel when I heard this story. He is more than a little crazy - which is likely an understatement.
I'd heard that Kid Rock actually made a prediction about the Waffle House.
He had been banned from all Nashville stripclubs because of a fight at a local club. In a CNN interview, he asked if he would be banned from all the Waffle House restaurants if he got into a fight there.
CNN Transcripts
Hey Robert, good to see you, and I saw this on CNN last week at the gym. Ha. Thanks for the link as I thought it was funny as hell. Kid Rock must be half-physic.