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Quick Hit Friday . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Friday, October 12, 2007

"Well, I have no respect for people with no shopping agenda," - Ben Affleck, "Mallrats"

That mantra is known as dedicated salesmanship in some circles, and although it's a hard line to take, everyone has their own philosophy on commerce. I am not overly concerned with it for now as there are tough stories to tackle like:

Pam Anderson married beau Rick Salomon at the Planet Hollywood Resort in Las Vegas Saturday night, less than a week after being granted a marriage license by the state.

This new union/impending divorce proves once again that nothing good ever happens at a Planet Hollywood.

Lindsay Lohan left rehab this week, and has been negotiating interviews with various magazines to talk about her "sobering experience."

To save time and effort, Lohan has also negotiated her story for the next time she goes back to rehab.

Britney Spears fans will be happy to hear that the embattled pop star's album will hit stores two weeks earlier than expected. According to her record label, Jive, the new album questionably titled "The Blackout" will now be released Oct. 30 due to online leaks.

The title was taken from Spears state of mind on virtually any day of the week ending in a 'Y.'

Charlie Sheen has promised to laser off his 13 tattoos as a show of devotion to fiancée Brooke Mueller, who "hates" them, reports the New York Post. His ink stains include a four-eyed, fire-breathing dragon, a note on his chest reading, "Back in 15 minutes" and a subtext-free eyeball peeking out of an open zipper.

Sheen tried to claim the eyeball-zipper tattoo was "like a window into my soul," however, Mueller told him to remove it anyway.

Nick Nolte and his longtime partner, Clytie Lane, had a baby girl this week as the 66-year-old father welcomed the yet to be named baby into the world.

The new birth means that Nolte will be 82-years-old by the time his daughter is 16, and he is forced to explain his stupendously awesome mug shot to her.

David Hasselhoff was hospitalized this week after a drinking relapse sent him to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.

“David had a brief relapse and immediately recognized the importance of addressing it with the assistance of his doctors. He is doing fine and will be back home in the morning,” his rep Judy Katz told Access Hollywood.

On the plus side, no fast-food hamburgers were harmed or thrown onto the floor during Hasselhoff's latest binge.

Bobby Brown denied Wednesday that he had a mild heart attack, something his attorney said earlier he had suffered this week in Los Angeles. The 38-year-old singer told Associated Press Radio that he is feeling fine and went to the hospital just for a checkup.

His account differed from that of his Atlanta attorney, Phaedra Parks, who earlier in the day told The Associated Press that Brown had severe chest pains Tuesday night and was taken to two hospitals.

"This morning they did diagnose him as suffering from a mild heart attack ... they attributed to stress and diet," Parks said, noting that she had spoken with him.

Apparently, Brown was diagnosed with a mild heart attack in the morning, and mild amnesia by the afternoon when he claimed the heart attack never happened.

Men's magazine Esquire named Charlize Theron the "Sexiest Woman Alive" on Wednesday, bestowing its annual honor on the South African actress who is currently starring in war film, "In the Valley of Elah."

"She combines unbelievable beauty with a smart mind and this attitude like she's almost one of the guys -- like you could hang out and have a beer with -- and all of that adds up to sexy," said Esquire articles editor Ryan D'Agostino.

D'Agostino later added that her "beautiful butt" and "bodacious ta-tas" also helped her claim the crown.

Since we're ending with beauty, let's stay with that theme and close with this:

I can tell by looking at this picture that the woman in question has a tremendously large and giving heart. You can tell by the necklace of course, so look closer at the inner beauty of people today, wear your heart on your sleeve and . . . Happy Friday!



  1. I love women with big, er, hearts. Yeah, big hearts.

    Okay, here's the idea, you sit down Lindsay/Britney (basically the same person right now) on a couch in police station next to Charlie Sheen...

    ... I've gotta go to work writing for some sketch comedy show.

  2. I think of Charlie Sheen in a police station, and I think "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" - a small, but classic Sheen role. And I agree on the hearts. Big ones.

  3. Stephanie Says:
  4. A heart attack at 38? I hope not. That's scary. I'm 37!

  5. Very true, however, I tend to doubt you've consumed nearly as many drugs or eaten nearly as many Big Macs as Mr. Brown has during his lifetime (and especially during his marriage to Whitney Houston. Ha.

  6. Very true, however, I tend to doubt you've consumed nearly as many drugs or eaten nearly as many Big Macs as Mr. Brown has during his lifetime (and especially during his marriage to Whitney Houston. Ha.

  7. "Drugs? You in here for drugs?"

  8. Charlize, on her worse day,is the prettiest woman in the world.

  9. B.Brown's "heart attack" was due to stress and diet? As in, "I'm so stressed because my diet of drug and booze is getting in my way of working."

    Poor Bobby.

    Happy Friday 2$, have a great weekend.

  10. Heff Says:
  11. A better gig for Lindsay would probably be negotiating interviews with various magazines to talk about whose husband she screwed in the bathroom while in rehab.

    I personally think Bobby Brown suffered a mild "Crack Attack"

    And in closing, I think most ALL men love women with big hearts.

    - Heff (formerly Tiara Girl)

  12. Wendy Says:
  13. Charlie Sheen is a pig, but it's pretty presumptuous of his latest conquest to expect him to laser off his tattoos for her. How stupid is she that she doesn't realize guys will say anything to get laid?

  14. WhatIgot - Great line. Great scene.

    Idig - Pretty much. I also like the picture of her smoking dope out of an apple to round things out too (saw this on 'Net several times).

    Anonymous Boxer - Exactly. And I don't feel that bad for Mr. Brown as it's his Perogative to do those things. Have a good weekend.

    Heff - Interesting transition. Good choice w/ the guitar. And yes, men love big hearts & I saw that about Lindsay and the other guy from rehab. Shocking.

    Wendy - I thought every woman realized that about guys. Ha. I doubt he'll go through with it, but you have to admire the fact that is a pig and gets away with it in a perverse way. Right?

  15. That's because Charlie Sheen is a RICH pig.

  16. Heff Says:
  17. Hey 2Dollar, I really enjoy your blog, so I put a blinking Marquee link on my blog to yours. Hope that's cool with you.

  18. Miss Ash Says:
  19. How does Nick Nolte get laid...bleh!!

  20. vivavavoom Says:
  21. and that girl really wears her heart on her sleeve!

    Bobby brown probably has no brain cells left from the drugs, so he could have a heart attack and amnesia in the same day. I am sure Pam Anderson will have a sex tape leaked whenever her popularity dies a little and at least this time she married a professional who has made them before so the camera won't be at odd angles!

    have a great weekend!

  22. Linda Says:
  23. Love this opener! After a weekend with a friend who ALWAYS has a shopping agenda (she just helped me spruce up my winter wardrobe) I got a chuckle out of that! On the subject of Nolte, he gets laid because he is incredibly charming, and friendly and HE ASKS! Yes, another that I've met, and no, he did not ask ME. But I watched him in action, and it was pretty impressive. Everyone I know who ran into him liked him, and the girls, especially the young'ns, were all over him. Never underestimate the power of celebrity ... or maybe just a nice guy who likes to party!

  24. Anonymous Boxer - Yep. When you're that wealthy, you can pretty much do whatever the hell you want. Or so I've heard.

    Heff - That's very cool, and thanks. Blink away. I appreciate it.

    Miss Ash - He must have some wily charms that works on women. Plus, he is famous, so . . .

    Vivavavoom - Have a great weekend yourself. You're likely right about Pam as she is desperately trrying to stay in the public eye, and Brown lost most of his brain cells years ago.

    Linda - Ha. That's a great story, and I would love to hear all these encounters sometime because the Christopher Guest one is still my favorite. Anyway, I think you're right about Nolte as attitude and charm goes a long, long way. Finally, you have to hear Affleck deliver the line, but I think it's funny as hell either way.

  25. JLee Says:
  26. Who goes into a tattoo parlor and says "yeah, I want the eyeball coming out of the zipper one"
    Wha?? I think Charlie should get one on his forehead that says "women, run away!!" haha
    Happy Friday...or Saturday.

  27. Huh. I watched mallrats last night. Coincidence or cosmic design? Just ask Stan Lee. He's a God.

  28. Jlee - I think that happens when you walk into a tattor parlor drunk and if you're Charlie Sheen. Ha.

    Getoffmylawn - How strange, but "Mallrats" is a sneaky-funny film. Jason Lee & Michael Rooker steal the show.


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