"I wanna bleach your nipples and slap you in the face" - Nick Swardson, "You Don't Mess With the Zohan"
That was probably the funniest line in that film. Disturbing, but funny.
Oh well, I'll take the laughs since it's Friday. I need to finish work so I can begin preparations to have people over to watch the TX-OU football game tomorrow, which means a bit of cleaning but more importantly digging out beer tubs, buying plenty of Shiner and putting in a large order of barbecue.
Before that occurs, however, let's look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Miley Cyrus celebrated her 16th birthday party at an over-the-top Disneyland celebration Sunday — even though she doesn't actually turn 16 until Nov. 23. The theme park was closed for the supersized soiree, which included a four-song performance by the teen queen and a fireworks display above Sleeping Beauty Castle and 16 giant inflatable candles.
"My parents shut down Disneyland for me, so I'm good for a while," Cyrus said.
Miley might be "good" until her actual birthday, and she is reportedly demanding that the entire state of California shut down to honor the occasion.
Howard Stern married model Beth Ostrosky last weekend at posh New York restaurant Le Cirque.
The wedding was attended by loads of fellow celebrities, including Donald Trump, Billy Joel, Barbara Walters, Sarah Silverman, Jimmy Kimmel, Joan Rivers and Stern’s radio sidekicks Robin Quivers, Artie Lang and Gary “Baba Booey” Dell’Abate.
Kelly Ripa’s hubby, former soap star Mark Consuelos, an ordained minister, married the couple. “The night was perfect. Mark Consuelos was the greatest rev on the face of the earth,” Ostrosky, 36, said. 
Unfortunately, Stern failed to invite a bevy of lesbian strippers to paddle each other and make-out during the reception, however, he stated that "I don't want to spoil Monday's radio show."
David Duchovny is out of sexual rehab.
Larry Stein, the lawyer of the “Californication” star tells Access Hollywood the actor has “successfully” completed rehab for sex addiction.
I'm happy for Duchnovny, however, sexual rehab is one test that I would love to fail miserably.
Esquire bestowed Halle Berry with the 2008 title of the "Sexiest Woman Alive" in their November issue this week.
"Sexiness is a state of mind — a comfortable state of being," Berry said. 
Sexiness is also mainly about looking like Halle Berry.
A fire at Nick Nolte's home in Malibu, California gutted his living room on Tuesday, but the actor escaped with minor injuries after trying to douse the flames with a garden hose, officials said.
"Nick Nolte was there apparently with a water hose trying to extinguish the fire himself and of course we came to help him out," Inspector James Barnes said.
The "Tropic Thunder" star suffered smoke inhalation and minor abrasions in the fire.
The smoke inhalation was actually suffered from the joint that Nolte was smoking when firefighters arrived at the scene.
Hugh Hefner lost a girlfriend this week as both Hef and Holly Madison, one of E!'s "The Girls Next Door," confirmed they are no longer dating.
"If Holly says it's over, I guess it's over," Hefner said in a telephone interview Wednesday. "She's still here in the house. Until a few days ago, we were still sharing the same bed."
Something tells me that Hef won't find it too difficult to discover another blonde Bunny with fake boobs to fill that bed - he just has to walk outside to grab the morning newspaper and six will hop into his lap.
Britney Spears will go on trial for driving without a license next week rather than accept a plea deal her lawyer says is too harsh.
Spears rejected an agreement that would have seen the pop star plead guilty to a misdemeanor, pay $150 fine and served 12 months' probation, said lawyer J. Michael Flanagan. He suggested Spears was receiving tougher treatment than non-celebrity defendants.
"It should be an infraction. It's kind of mind-boggling that they want to convict her of a misdemeanor," Flanagan said.
Flanagan also said it was unfair because "Britney was so stoned on various substances that she doesn't even remember the incident, and therefore it didn't actually happen."
But let's not end with law and order and instead go with a gold image(s):
I just felt like doubling up today, and couldn't resist a little extra nourishment for the soul. So, don't be afraid to push the envelope, remember that sometimes one is never enough and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
Two pictures to end the post with today? Thank you for that.
That almost makes up for my crappy childhood - my parents never shut down DisneyLand for me.
Isn't it amusing that the most gorgeous women on the planet always say "it's a state of mind" ha
Speaking of doubling up, you're right about Heff since I read yesterday that all the current girls are moving out and he's been spotted with 19 yr old twins who want to be his new girlfriends. CREEPY!!
Native Minnow - I try to give when I can as I consider myself a humanitarian at heart. Ha. And don't feel bad about Disneyland - I missed that boat too.
Jlee - I knew it. If there's anyone I feel less sorry for in the loss of a girlfriend than Hugh Hefner, I can't think of them. And yes, all beautiful women tend to say something along Berry's quote (and I disregard them every single time. Ha). Happy Friday.
Thanks for the double dose there at the end. Hef should do so good.
Is Nick Nolte turning into Kris Kristoferson
Heff - I'm glad you appreciated the effort. Ha. Have a good weekend.
WhatIgot - There's a certain resemblance (sp?) for sure. But I like both of them, so I guess it doesn't really matter if they morph.
I think Hugh H. is just a super creepy old CRAZY man. When he said he could never live alone it just made me sorry for him... for a second.
Happy Friday 2$!
I hope your weekend includes lots of nice long drives in the new car.
I met a guy with a sex addiction once...at work...an interesting fellow he was.
As for Hef, do you seriously think they all have sex? Seriously???
A.B. - Your new pic makes me smile. Ha. And Heff is turning slightly creepy, but he is still a minor hero to me. I'm sure that guy could tell some stories . . . Have a great weekend & you better believe there will be some driving in my future plans (weather is great in Austin right now).
Miss Ash - How well did you know this work addict? Ha. And I wonder how quickly he admitted his addiction. Hell, it might help in picking up people to throw that on the table . . . I'm not sure. As for Heff, I think with Viagra, anything is possible these days, although I prefer not to picture it. Happy Friday.
Nice of the fire department to "help out" Nolte. Another of my celebrity encounters, he's actually a pretty sweet guy. Dude just likes to party (and looks a lot better in person)..... Happy Friday!!
Happy Friday!! As for Hef.. creepy.....yikes!!
Bostonpobble - Thanks as I'll take any luck you can send as OU is #1 for a reason right now. Selah. It should be a good time regardless, although the game starts at 11 a.m. and drinking that early can often lead to bad behavior and long days. Have a great weekend.
Linda - Interesting. I bet Nolte would be a great guy to party with, and if you have stories/pics/etc, then feel free to share them. Ha. And I also that fireman quote was a little ridiculous - it's their job, so I hope he was joking.
Nobich - Happy Friday to you, and Hef is so iconic, I figure he can do whatever the hell he wants (even if it is creepy). Ha.
if you visit my blog, my picture is currently blowing smoke.
Check out The Superficial. Apparently Hef's new girlfriends have a record for assault! Classic...
I doubt if the alcohol fumes coming from Nick Nolte's breath would have assisted in the dousing of the flames. It was probably a knocked over Scotch bottle that started the fire in the first place.
Hugh Hefner....*shudder*. No amount of money would make me sleep with that man, not even if I were a sex addict.
And my favourite line for the week -
Flanagan also said it was unfair because "Britney was so stoned on various substances that she doesn't even remember the incident, and therefore it didn't actually happen." Gold.
Fab pics at the end too B, very sexy indeed.
Have a great weekend, don't get too wasted and enjoy that sweet ride.
Nolte's short visit to NIFF was full of stories. When we were trying to get in touch with the driver who was picking him up from the airport, we kept getting her voice mail. When she returned, we were frantic, asking her why we couldn't reach her. She laughed, and said that her daughter, who lives in Hawaii, is a huge Nolte fan. When she asked Nick if he'd say hi, he said sure, and chit chatted with her daughter for almost half an hour! He also accidentally took the pilot's carry on when he got off the plane (that was a fun one to straighten out). Everyone who met the guy commented on how nice he was. We also had trouble extracting him from a party sponsored by Grey Goose (go figure). He climbed in the back seat of my car by mistake, realized that I wasn't his driver, and let me shepherd him to the right car. Super polite, very apologetic (no need Nick). He also obliged a young lady, out on her bachelorette party night, with a big wet smooch, right outside the theater. The moment made the local paper. Everyone who met him walked away with a story, all good!
A.B. - That's the only thing that could make it better - smoking. Ha. And I'll be back to comment on your post for sure.
Jlee - Ouch. I guess Hef doesn't screen them as carefully as he used to, eh? Ha. I doubt he cares very much as long as they have certain attributes.
Gypsy - I know what you mean about Nolte as that was almost the joke I was going to use for that story. Ha. I would love to know what really caused the fire. And I will definitely be having a good time & enjoying the new ride as it's been stellar so far. Have a great weekend.
Linda - Thanks for sharing as that is hilarious, and I'm glad Nolte didn't disappoint me. I wish I could live one night like Nolte (but that's probably all I could handle becuase it sounds tiring). That is a great story (pilot's carry-on may be my favorite part), and I hope he comes out again for another round.
"My parents shut down Disneyland for me..." AAARGGGHHHHH! Another thing for regular kids to think their parents should do for them. My 20-year-old celebrated her birthday at Disneyland this month, too. I gave her $100, which covered parking, a bottled water and a miniature Eyeore stuffed animal. Stupid Disneyland.
Usually I try to give an extensive commet on every subject. But I cant because I just can't get over Halle Berry. DAM, SHE IS A BAD BITCH!! I'm very secure in my woman hood but she can make me change my mimd about some thangs. Hahahaha
Saw the score tonight at dinner. CONGRATULATIONS! :)
Wendy - I haven't been to Disneyland in years, but I figured it was pretty damn expensive for 1 person to enter the park (and shutting it down a month before someone's actual birthday is just kind of a joke). I hope your daughter had fun on Space Mountain as that was a cool ride.
TrinabeingTrina - She's in a league of her own, so don't worry about being distracted on other comments. Besides, I'm glad you're keeping an open mind. ha.
Bostonpobble - Thanks Pobble. It was a great game, and the outcome only made it better.