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Quick Hit Friday . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Friday, December 14, 2007

"When I was a little kid, I kinda had this problem. And it's not even that big of a deal, something like 8 percent of kids do it. For some reason, I don't know why. I would just kinda... sit around all day... and draw pictures of dicks," - Jonah Hill, "Superbad"

The days are moving quickly in Austin as Christmas is approaching like a hyena on speed. I've got work to do, shopping to finish and more of these damn parties to attend, however, there are stories to discuss such as:

Paris Hilton has created a new line of champagne, and painted her naked body gold for its first ad campaign. The new champagne, called "Rich Prosecco", comes in a can and will initially launch in Europe before making its debut in the US next year.

I'm not an expert linguist, however, I believe that "Procecco" roughly translates to "Bitch" in English.

People magazine reported this week that Jessica Alba is pregnant with longtime boyfriend Cash Warren's baby.

"I can confirm that Jessica and Cash are expecting a baby in late spring, early summer," her rep tells the mag.

I can say that I'm undoubtedly jealous of Warren as I would have paid Cash money for the opportunity - at least $2.

Britney Spears failed to attend a court-ordered deposition after telling her ex-husband's lawyer that she was feeling unwell - allegedly with "high anxiety."

The irony is that I'm sure Spear's children are also in a constant state of "high anxiety" whenever she's around them, which might not be that much longer if she continues to live on a different plane of reality.

Eddie Van Halen returned to his home in Los Angeles to discover that broken water main in Studio City had sent thousands of gallons of water flowing down Coldwater Canyon Avenue and into Van Halen's yard.

"The pool is buried in mud, the driveway gate is down and some major landscaping is going to be needed to restore the yard to its former self," said Janie Liszewski, Van Halens' publicist and live-in girlfriend. "It could have been a lot worse."

The only way it could have been worse was if the gushing water had washed up Gary Cherone into Van Halen's backyard, which is way I assume their short-lived band partnership was originally forged.

Charlize Theron's Hollywood Hill home was the scene of a break-in last week, police said.

Los Angeles police are currently investigating the break-in. It is still unknown when the forced entry occurred and whether anything was taken from the house.

I'm just glad they haven't noticed that 3 pairs of Theron's undergarments are missing yet. Small favors.

During a an appearance on "TODAY" earlier this week, Janice Dickinson told Al Roker that Love Hewitt "is a healthy, not emaciated woman." Then she added, "You want to see someone who's fat? I'm sorry, Tyra. Tyra Banks is fat."

I found Dickinson's critique semi-funny, although I wouldn't take it too seriously as her face is stretched so tight that I'm not sure how it has affected her eyesight.

Alex Trebek, the longtime Jeopardy! Host, suffered a minor heart attack at his home Monday night, a spokesperson for the quiz show confirmed to E! News.

He was said to be "resting comfortably" at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles on Tuesday and was expected to remain there for two days while undergoing tests.

Trebek had to be physically restrained from attacking his original doctor after the medic kept phrasing his treatment options in the form a of a question.

San Antonio Spurs star Tony Parker and his wife, TV actress Eva Longoria, issued a statement Wednesday night defending their marriage against claims by a French model that she had an affair with Parker in September.

"I love my wife," Parker, 25, said in the statement from Longoria's spokeswoman, Liza Anderson. "She's the best thing in my life, and I have never been happier."

Parker later added that he's damn near ecstatic that Longoria actually believes his story about not cheating with a French model. I know I would be.

Shia LaBeouf is no longer facing criminal charges for refusing to leave a downtown Chicago drugstore last month because he appeared to be drunk.

The star of the forthcoming "Indiana Jones" movie appeared in a Chicago courtroom for only minutes Wednesday before prosecutors read a letter from the Walgreens Co. and a security company saying they don't want to continue the case.

LaBeouf immediately made plans to celebrate his victory by getting blitzed and heading to a CVS store.

Since we're ending with victory, let's continue with a pleasing image like:

I don't generally like for people to drape themselves on my vehicle, however, sometimes you have to really lean into something to make it shine. So, put your back into your work today, press forward towards the weekend and . . . Happy Friday!



  1. that series of pics that Charlize took for Esquire was awesome. She's so hot it actually physically hurts to look at her.

    By the way, the SuperBad DVD, well worth the buy. The commentary is packed with hilarious stories. Lots of extras also.

  2. You're right about both Theron & Superbad as I have both the issue and the DVD (which I watched last week). I actually find Michael Cera funnier than Hill for the most part.

  3. Anonymous Says:
  4. In that photo, Britney is probably under the assumption that dog is one of her offspring. I really feel sorry for those kids. I believe in heredity and therefore, those kids are genetic predispossed to idiocy. That's one reality show I can't wait to watch, Brit's Kids.

  5. Gypsy Says:
  6. Ok I know Brit's career is in the toilet but surely she has enough money left to buy a decent wig. That looks like something you'd see on an 80 year old woman playing bingo in the town hall.

  7. Heff Says:
  8. I guess I was in the 8 percentile....

    Canned champagne, huh ? Does it leave you feeling flat chested after you drink it ?

    Alba pregnant ? I'm crushed.

    Brittany Spears ? I've run out of comments for her.

    Gary Cherone ? I'd all but forgotten he was even with Van Halen (my mind tends to block out bad experiences)

    Charlize Theron - I would have stolen nothing less.

    Janice Dickinson - I'm not sure at this point if she's anything more than a corpse with a fresh skin wrap.

    You beat me to the punch on the Trebek joke :(

    I feel quite sure Tony Parker "did the deed".

    Beat me to the punch on the Shia LaBeouf joke as well. (damn you're good).

    And finally, NICE TITS !

    Have a good one, 2 Dollar.

  9. WhatIgot - It would be an interesting show, but honestly, those kids don't have a chance when K-Fed is the better parent. It's just pathetic.

    Gypsy - Ha. Yes, you would think so, but I've seen several of her wigs and they all look like that. She has money (in theroy), but those things are horrendous.

    Heff - I appreciate the comment's attention to detail. I threw in the Cherone crack for yr. enjoyment as I figured it would be a reminder. And you've got to be quick to beat $2 to a joke on Fridays. Ha. Have a good one.

  10. Miss Ash Says:
  11. Janice Dickinson scares me!!

    And I was going to ask if you ever broke into Charlize's home, what you would take....but that was answered!!

  12. Janice D. isn't as old as that crap she did to her face/body makes her look. I saw her interview on The Today show and I have to admit, I coughed up a bit of coffee when she made that remark about Tyra Banks. With all of the Photoshopping that goes on nowadays with photos (and that includes Charlize, sorry boys) I have no idea what celebrities truly look like anymore.

    That said, I doubt there was ANY photoshopping on your last picture.

    Happy Friday 2 Buck. Have a great weekend.

  13. Miss Ash - Let's just keep the thef between you and me, and leave the police out of this. I think its better for everyone this way.

    Anonymous Boxer - I agree, and even though she's semi-crazy, I enjoy Janice in small bursts. And luckily, that last photo was not shopped. Ha. Have a good weekend AB.

  14. nobich Says:
  15. Good post today! I always look forward to your "Quick Hit Fridays" & not just because it's Friday (although that does help)but you catch me up on everything I need to know. Happy Friday!!

  16. Wendy Says:
  17. Janice Dickinson had been on Howard Stern earlier that morning and it was he who asked her about Jennifer and Tyra. Apparently impressed by her own responses to his questions, she made it sound like it was her idea to compare the two. I had that happen once, on a smaller scale, when I interviewed a famous person for a newspaper story I was doing, then he went on a radio show and took my topic and made it his own--before my story came out.

  18. Nobich - Thanks as some weeks are better and more eventful than others. And I do think that regardless, the fact that it's Friday means things can't be that bad (or unfunny). Happy Friday.

    Wendy - That's interesting (both stories) as I didn't know that originated on Howard. But man, getting scooped by your own interview/source, that hurts. Ha. I can just imagine.

  19. I'm mad that I haven't seen Superbad. I have heard it was hilarious. ( I hate missing hilariousness)

    Paris hilton is a mess. I don't see the purpose of her.

    Brittany Spears is a hot ass mess. Trailer trash at it's finest, next...

    Charlize Theron is hot. Not in that movie Monster. (was that the name of it) She was almost unrecognizable.

    Janice Dickinson is irrelevant. SO obnoxious.

    Do you think Toni Parker is really cheating already? I wonder.

    Where do you find these pictures of these women with these humongous ass boobs?!?! (rhetorical question)

  20. vivavavoom Says:
  21. that quote from Superbad is hilarious. That is one, among many, I missed and will have to get 'on demand'.
    have a great weekend. hope your car gets washed.

  22. Grace Says:
  23. Holy smokes, those are massive... I forget everything else I wanted to say.

  24. Mr. DNA Says:
  25. My minds a blank.

    Ummm, yes to everything.

  26. Is it just me or is Paris kind of... not really sexy. She has a vapid look in her eye, she's too skinny, she has a truncated chin... if I had three million dollars to spend on advertising, that could be me all naked and covered in gold paint.

  27. Linda Says:
  28. The dick drawings in Superbad were hilarious. Shown during the end credits, people stopped in the exit, then came back into the theater to watch the sequence of drawings .... brilliant! One guy was laughing so hard he had to sit back down.

  29. Trina - You should rent Superbad when you need a laugh, I agree w/ most of the rest especially about Theron and Hilton, I actually don't think Parker has cheated at this point, and I have my sources for the end pictures (let's just hope they don't dry up).

    Vivavavoom - Have a good weekend yourself, and you should rent Superbad when you have some adult time as it's profane and funny. Finally, I don't care so much about getting my car washed - it's about the process sometimes.

    Grace - It does tend to clean out your thoughts, eh? At least it does for me. Ha.

    Mr. DNA - Information overload? There was a hell of a lot of stuff this week as I kept trying to end this post, and crap kept happening. I was ready to be done with it, but I'll take an across-the-board yes.

    Getoffmylawn - I'd do it for a cool million. No problem. And Paris is the product of whatever team puts her together. I have no idea what she really looks like nor do I care that much as she's only semi-decent-looking in a vapid, trashy way. If that makes any sense (not a lot I guess).

    Linda - I know. The movie itself's drawings were detailed and hilarious and the situations along the craft just kept getting sillier. That was inspired. Ha.

  30. A friend of mine just saw Superbad, and didn't like it because it was too much juvenile humor. My question is, how on earth could you not know that going into it? I thought it was hilarious, it was exactly what I expected.

    I, too, am crushed by the news about Jessica Alba.

    Britney and Paris are both annoying, but I'd hook up with either one if they were willing. Maybe I'd get a Ferrari or something like that for Christmas. That'd almost make it worth it.

    Charlize Theron is my choice for most gorgeous actress today.

    I was already jealous of Tony Parker for marrying another one of the hottest girls around. If he slept with this other one then I'm going to head out and start working on my jump shot right away.

  31. Yep. I'm not sure what yr. friend was expecting from "Superbad" as that was pretty much the way it was marketed. I thought it was good, not great.

    As for Theron, I would place her very high on that list as well, and I think you should add French lessons to your gym time to emulate Parker. It's probably the accent that helps.

  32. Axe Victim Says:
  33. Champagne? In a can??? In Europe???? Green eggs and ham????? It'll never catch on...


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