Blog Archive

Bring On The Champagne . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Tuesday, December 11, 2007

"Champagne don't hurt me baby
Cocaine don't make me lazy
Ain't nobody's business but mine," - Jerry Jeff Walker, "Champagne Don't Hurt Me Baby"

I rarely drink champagne.

It might happen at the occasional brunch where I'll order a Mimosa over a Bloody Mary mainly because I cannot stand tomato juice. I also have a bottle chilled for New Year's Eve as well as companion piece for New Year's Day to ward off the evils from the previous night .

But overall, I don’t drink champagne that often as I prefer to stick to good beer, top-flight vodka, and big red wines.

This outlook generally changes with the holiday party season, however, as I think it's a fine idea to have champagne at nearly every event. There's something about champagne that signals a decadent celebration which can lead to random behavior, horrendous toasts and act as a precursor to debauchery.

That is a winning combination in my book. Champagne can serve as the catalyst as few people will actively turn down a glass when the air is cold, and the holiday lights are flickering.

It's also a perfect turn-on because it doesn't make me tired like some drinks can, and how many times have you heard the phrase "that glass of champagne and those bubbles went straight to my head."

I know I've heard it quite often. This simple phrase can also be used in hindsight to justify any illicit behavior or toasts. I vividly recall one such toast that somehow wrapped around to " . . . And I know for a fact that hundred-dollar bills make women horny."

The man was a true poet.

So, now that we're getting into the thick of the holiday party season, I say bring on the champagne. Why not?

I figure that if I MUST go to a plethora of holiday parties which I'd rather decline, then at least there better be champagne floating around because the potential for weirdness and wildness increases with every single glass.



  1. JLee Says:
  2. I don't often drink champagne, but have always liked it. My old roommate and I used to have a Friday night tradition of chinese takeout and pink champagne. Sound lovely, eh? haha
    Of course there was my 24th birthday where I drank almost an entire bottle of champagne and almost fell into a pool, but we won't talk about that...

  3. Heff Says:
  4. Uh, I'm sticking with beer. Champagne & Wine are like CANDY - just too easy for Heff to drink. A bottle of wine down, and I'm giggling like a school girl. - Not a pretty sight.

  5. Jlee - Pink champagne? Ha. Actually, I had a decent pink champagne once, but can't remember the name. But you can't start a falling in the pool story and not finish. That's just common courtesy.

    Heff - I generally stick with beer as well, but sometimes it's good to branch out to see what will happen. Of course, this assumes that you don't start giggling like a schoolgirl, which is a damn funny image when you mention it.

  6. Have you tried Martin & Rossi Asti Spumante? Its pretty good and well priced. Basically, its what us greasy-haired guidos drink instead of champagne.


  7. Miss Ash Says:
  8. I very rarely drink the stuff except for special ocassions however, who drinks so much of it that they have a hangover in the am? Are there really people out there that will drink bottle after bottle of champagne as they would wine?

  9. WhatIgot - Thanks as I drink stuff from California as well that's technically not Champagne, but really is the same thing. As long as the taste & price are right, then it's fine with me.

    Miss Ash - Not me. I have a glass or two at the most, and then switch to other things (which is what causes the hangover). But regardless, a Mimosa isn't half-bad to work on a hangover.

  10. Mr. DNA Says:
  11. You are right, Champagne = celebration.

    "...And I know for a fact that hundred-dollar bills make women horny."
    That dude, must've been friends with Leon Phelps.

  12. Oh, man, your champagne post reminded me of a great memory I have. When the Jays won the world series for the first time, some reporter was trying to interview Juan Guzman. The locker-room was going crazy. Right in the middle of the interview Juan Guzman grabbed a couple bottles of champagne and started dousing the reporter and yelling out load with the thickest accent "oaaahh, man, I lub champ-pain" repeatedly.

    It was an awesome sight.

  13. Mr. Dna - I believe it was more of a Mentor relationship, but anything is possible. Ha. But Champagne does its marketing well as it definitely signals celebration in my mind.

    Idig - That is hilarious. I haven't thought of Juan Guzman in a long, long time (which is probably a good thing all things considered as who would?). I wonder if that clip is running around Youtube somewhere.

  14. kismetic Says:
  15. Aww I thought this was going to be a screenplay update. Oh well, champagne is yummy and Paris Hilton is even getting into the game so you know it's classy!

  16. Maddy Says:
  17. Don't know about weird and wild. I'm fine for the first glass but half way through the second I'm curled up in a small ball fast asleep.

    This is my calling card or link"Whittereronautism"until blogger comments get themselves sorted out.

  18. Linda Says:
  19. Not technically champagne (California vintage) Sofia is pretty good. The packaging (pink, specially lined cans with matching straws)was originally targeted at the club scene. Papa Coppola makes a decent wine, so I figured what the hey!? I bought it for an Oscar party and was surprised that it was pretty tasty! Though I'll usually take a beer over the bubbly, champagne is always a fun beverage this time of year!

  20. Melissa Says:
  21. I've always held a great affinity for champagne. It markes a moment of celebration like nothing else. I like Krug best, any non-vintage year will do.

  22. Kismetic - Damn. Now, you just made me depressed. Actually, I'll hold out on that as I've got an update coming in the next week (hopefully). And I just read that about Paris today. I hate to guess what it will taste like.

    Maddy - Wine will put me to sleep, although I still like it. Champagne tends to be light enough to keep things moving towards weird and wild, but everyone is different that way.

    Linda - This is the time of year for champagne, and if you can believe it, I have two of those little bottles of Sofia in my fridge. I have never tried them, and got them for a gift last year. With your recommendation, however, I might just have to pop the straw.

    Melissa - Krug works for me, and I also like the word affinity. Champagne is just one of those things that equates completely with celebrating that it just seems so damn festive every single time.

  23. vivavavoom Says:
  24. champagne for me is only for weddings and new years. can't say why, but it is like candy corn...only really worth it once in awhile.

  25. Vivavavoom - Blew by you in Cyberspace, and weddings/New Years are perfect celebratory events for champagne. The only other time I have a glass or two is this time of year, and even at that level, I get tired of it quickly. The candy corn comparison was very apt.

  26. Gypsy Says:
  27. At one time champagne is all I would drink. Now I do drink white wine as well but nothing else really agrees with me. I quite often drink a whole bottle while watching the football with very little ill effects. Just used to it I suppose.

    In Australia champagne and wine are commonly known as "leg openers" by young men.....hmmmm.

  28. Funny, of the two functions I've been to recently, I requested Champagne over my beloved vodka. I'm not sure why, but after this post, I think I have a better idea.

    It does seems so festive AND champagne and orange juice are soically acceptable to order during breakfast... which made my Thanksgiving brunch with the in-laws that much easier.

  29. Gypsy - It's amazing what the body can handle while watching football, eh? At least I've always found that to be true. And I like 'leg openers' line. Ha.

    Anonymous Boxer - This post was timely then. Ha. I do think this time of year calls for a little champagne over my typical drinks too. And a solid Mimosa is a great strategy for in-laws because nobody frowns on drinking them which makes the whole meal go much better.


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