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Corporate Etiquette 103 . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Wednesday, December 05, 2007

{The workplace is a jungle filled with jackals, wineheads and bosses with mouths like a crocodile. There are also decent people, but I'm starting to question the percentages. This is the third in a series of corporate encounters which offer no easy resolutions.}

I walked into work today. It was approximately 7:45 a.m.

The office is typically quiet at this hour of the morning, and after stopping by the break room for coffee, I was approaching my desk when a co-worker came around the corner holding a paper plate with two corn dogs sitting in the middle surrounded by condiments.

The sight was slightly disorienting as I suddenly wondered if my watch had stopped running.

"Corn dogs for breakfast?," I said.

"Oh yes," he replied. And then kept on walking. I saw him grab one by the stick and take a huge bite as he rounded the corner and disappeared out of sight.

I have nothing against corn dogs as I always get one when I attend the state fair or get desperate at a New Mexico gas station at 3 am, however, there was something revolting about witnessing them being eaten on a normal Wednesday morning.

My co-worker had not been up all night partying. Nobody had gifted him with the corn dogs in the early morning. In fact, he was entirely nonchalant about the whole affair, which is probably what unnerved me the most about this situation.

I have still not consumed enough coffee to properly ponder the ramifications today, but I do know that I'm going to questions my co-worker's judgment at future meetings more readily. And I also want a corn dog - for lunch.



  1. Heff Says:
  2. Krap on a stick for breakfast. Can't say I've ever gone there....

  3. I'll always remember that commercial for corn dogs. A group of teenagers are sitting around a kitchen table. One girl is asked "What's your idea of the perfect guy?" Then the camera zooms in on the corn dog as she smears the corn dog into a puddle of ketchup.


  4. Heff - Nor have I, and something would have to go completely sideways for it to happen. At least I hope so.

    WhatIgot - Now that's funny. I never saw that ad before, but maybe U.S. censors deemed it too "risque" or something. Maybe on Youtube.

  5. SymplyAmused Says:
  6. Sounds reasonable to me. Quick, not messy, and can star off hungry pains. Excuse me while I go eat my Sonic chicken wrap for breakfast. (grins)

  7. Carmel Says:
  8. LOL, I like corndogs but never for breakfast!!

  9. SymplyAmused Says:
  10. oops! Stave not star????

  11. I think its a Canada only campaign for Pogo Corndogs. I couldn't find it on youtube for you.

  12. Symplyamused - Quick, easy and not messy I like. But not when it's corn dogs for breakfast. Sonic has corn dogs you know, but they also have BREAKFAST items in the a.m. Ha. Finally, thanks for the clarification.

    Carmel - My thoughts exactly. Never before 8 a.m. Coffee - yes. Corn Dogs - No.

    WhatIgot - Damn. I figured it was a Canadian only campaign, but nearly everything is on YouTube or so I've heard. Thanks for looking.

  13. Miss Ash Says:
  14. Back in my meat days I loved corndogs...but never for breakfast. You work with a bunch of weirdos. You don't have a good enough rapport to ask what the hell he was doing?

  15. JLee Says:
  16. I hate to admit it, but I have been on a mini vegetarian corn dog kick, so I did in fact eat them for breakfast at least once last week (with gobs of mustard like the picture..mmmm) However, it was probably 10 or 11 am, so technically could be considered "brunch" I suppose. Am I weird? Don't answer that...

  17. Miss Ash - Back in your meat days - ha - that sounds like the glory days to me. And I might ask for an explanation later today or I might not. I'm not that close with this guy and things like this don't help matters.

    Jlee - What's a vegetarian corn dog? This sounds like an oxymoron to me. Ha. Regardless, you are stretching the line with eating them at 11 am, but that's close enough to lunch that I think you come down on the non-weird side (if based on corn dog consumption).

  18. nobich Says:
  19. what the heck is a corndog??? is there corn in it? eeek

  20. seeing a man eat anything phalic, especially with sauce, is a hilarious photo op, in my immature opinion.

  21. I love breakfast for dinner, so why not dinner for breakfast.

    I'm also thinking your co-worker was probably not expecting to be "discovered" either.

    The nonchalent thing was just an act.. he rounded the corner and said "oh shit."

    I just realized I have a pack of Tofu Corn Dogs in the freezer.....

  22. Nobich - This is what you get for living back East. Ha. You miss these culinary delights. A corn dog is a hot dog weiner which is then deep-fat fried in batter on a stick. Yum.

    Idig - Agreed. In my opinion, the corn dog falls between seeing another man eat a hot dog and a banana on that spectrum.

    Anonymous Boxer - I also enjoy breakfast for dinner on occassion, but I think the dinner for breakfast is a double standard that I'm adhering too. At least where corn dogs are concerned. Pizza is another matter entirely. Finally, Tofu Corn Dogs . . . Interesting.

  23. vivavavoom Says:
  24. he must have been stoned. the only way anyone would eat corndogs at 7:45 am is if they were stoned.

    I actually have never had one...I haven't lived I guess.

  25. First of all eewwwww!! I have never even had a corn dog and I am a firm believer of the saying, "don't knock it 'till you tryn it" But they do not look appetizing to me at all and I sure as hell would not indulge in them for breakfast.

    I do agree that you should be more readily to question his judgement in future meetings. Because anyone who can devoure a corn dog for breakfast without a second though is definitely "suspect" hahahaha

  26. Vivavavoom - You've still got plenty of time to indulge in a corn dog. And the stoned explanation would work as that creates some bizarre eating experiences, however, this guy was straight, which makes it far worse.

    Trina - Once every 2 years a good corn dog (and some are better than others although none are that good) is OK with me. As for him being 'suspect,' you nailed that one as he's already got a black mark next to his name and I'm watching out for him in the future. You can't trust someone who would do that in the early morning.

  27. When I see corndogs, I always want one. The first bite reminds me that I don't like them. I wonder if there are varying qualities of corndog. Perhaps your co-worker was indulging in gourmet corndogs from France. Would it still be weird if they were the "champagne" of corndogs?

  28. Casdok Says:
  29. Ive never even had a corndog! So can actually comment!
    Have i missed out?!

  30. Getoffmylawn - I know what you mean. There are a few other foods I feel the same way about. But I like the "Champagne of Corn Dogs" motto as that sounds like marketing material to me. I'd try farming it out to corn dog makers, and try to add some cache to their brand.

    Casdok - I'd like to tell you that you're missing out, but your life will probably still be full and rewarding without eating one. They are hot-dog weiners on a stick and the weiner gets deep-fat fried in batter which creates that brownish outward appearance. Sounds good, right? Ha.

  31. BostonPobble Says:
  32. A corn dog sighting prior to coffee. I don't think I could have handled it with as much aplomb. Well done.

  33. Bostonpobble - Thanks, and I like that you dug out aplomb to use. Well done. Nice word.


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