“It's something, isn't it? Hundred bucks, all in - not counting my labor, and the... cost of the dildo. Those things aren't cheap.” – George Clooney, “Burn After Reading” 
‘Burn’ was a lightweight, mostly enjoyable movie and the mechanical dildo contraption that Clooney builds is truly something to behold. I can’t build much of anything, so I think I’ll leave that kind of stuff to the pros, and instead, focus on making a few calls and sending even more emails and then hightailing it out of the office for the weekend.
But before that can occur, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Brooke Shields told Health magazine for their June issue that her biggest regret was not having sex sooner.
"I think I would have had sex a lot earlier," said Shields. "I think I would have been much more in touch with myself."
If this sentiment had been conveyed to my high school girlfriend, then I would have touched myself a whole lot less.
Adam Lambert told People magazine this week that he welcomes questions about his sexual orientation.
Lambert, 27, who finished second to Kris Allen in the show that ended May 20, said he has a message for those ongoing speculations about his sexuality, "Calm down," he says, and "keep speculating."
He later added “But the people frequenting highway rest stops know the score.”
Ashton Kutcher threatened to leave Twitter this week after the social-networking service announced Monday it was in talks to develop an unscripted series based on the site.
"It's all fun and games until somebody gets stalked," Kutcher posted Monday on Twitter. "I really don't like being sold out. May have to take a Twitter hiatus."
Seems only fair, I’ve been on a Kutcher hiatus for years and years.
Jessica Simpson is rumored to be starring in another reality series later this year about the beauty issues women face in today’s society, according to US Weekly.
“The Price of Beauty,” as the show may be potentially called, would center around Simpson and a friend on a trip around the world to explore different beauty standards. 
For Simpson, the price of beauty includes receiving lewd comments about your breasts from your own father, which is a high cost indeed.
Actor Mel Gibson, who is going through a divorce from his wife of 28 years, confirmed to Jay Leno on Monday that his Russian girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, is expecting their baby.
"This is true," Gibson said during an appearance on "The Tonight Show With Jay Leno." When asked about the status of the baby’s gender, Gibson, 53, replied: "A human being, I think." 
Meanwhile, teams of Hollywood Scientologists are hoping the opposite is true.
In other baby news, Brazilian supermodel and Victoria's Secret Angel Adriana Lima announced that she and her husband, NBA player Marko Jaric, are expecting their first child together.
"Adriana and Marko are overjoyed that they are expecting their first child together and are excited to share the happy news and start their family together," say reps. 
Marko is also overjoyed that his pact with the Devil to keep this Angel is still intact, the lucky dog.
After three months of laying low after his felony charges for allegedly assaulting Rihanna, Chris Brown broke his silence this week in a short video posted on YouTube.com.
The R&B star, 20, speaks to the camera about his upcoming album and makes an apparent allusion to the drama in his personal life.
"I just wanna say 'What up?' because I ain't been out there in a minute," says Brown before talking about an upcoming album and then concluding with “Everybody that's haters, they just been haters. All my real fans, I love you all. I ain't a monster." 
When asked what he’s been doing these past 3 months, Brown replied “attending advanced English classes.”
As always, let’s end with a gold image or two:
Black and white and gold work for me today, and a bit of oil to showcase the parts doesn’t hurt either. So, don’t be afraid to arch your back and lube yourself up, realize that a well-intentioned grope can benefit everyone involved and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
Happy Friday and as usual, those golden pics at the end will probably lead me to get in touch with myself.
WIGSF - That's certainly one way to start Friday with a bang. Ha. Happy Friday.
Standing in for Lindsay this week in QHF, in the "stupid things I've said" department - Ashton Kutcher. Oh what will the world do if he takes a Twitter hiatus???? big threat little man. *ugh* Thanks for reminding me of that contraption from Burn After Reading, one of the funniest things on film last year! Have a great weekend and Happy Friday!!
LOVED "Burn After Reading" and that quote cracked me up. I wish Twitter would take a hiatus from the planet, along with Facebook. ha
Great last image..."well intentioned grope" haha
Happy Friday!
Quick Heff Friday !
To quote Brooke Shields exactly, "If I had a more impressive chest, I'd be a complete WHORE."
Adam Lambert's message was conveyed only AFTER he reluctantly pulled a cock out of his mouth.
It was later revealed that Twitter "Punked" Kutcher simply to get rid of his dumb ass.
Jessica Simpson got the "beauty" gig only AFTER being adamantly refused the opportunity to star in "The Price Of Aptitude"
To ALSO quote Gibson from The Tonight Show, he will now be reffered to as "The Octo-Mel".
Marko Jaric shoots....He SCORES !!!
Chris Brown is a piece of shit, which is probably why his name contains the word "Brown". Even turds float up to the top of the sewage when it's time to promote an album.
As far as the first gold image, PASS THE LUBE, PLEASE !!!
Have a great weekend, BDS !
Linda - Ha. You're right about Kutcher stepping up for Lohan's lack of talking this week. I hope it's a promise, not a threat. And that contraption in 'Burn' was hilarious and caught me off guard when I saw it in the theater. Happy Friday.
Jlee - It was pretty funny, and I really liked Clooney (and Malkovich). I am over Twitter too. I figured that last pic was for the female readership. Ha. Glad you liked it & Happy Friday to you.
Heff - Appreciate the detail, so you'll probably never get a job as Brooke's publicist, ouch on Lambert as I don't watch 'Idol' so I barely know who he is, hope Twitter is smart enough to do that, Simpson can't define aptitude, can't believe Gibson actually said that, Jaric scores often and I am jealous, I'm interested in how Brown's career will go from here and you can supply your own lube. Ha. Happy Friday Heff.
Judging by the way Britney Spears made up for lost time, I'd say she was of the same mind set as Brooke though I never really bought that whole virginity thing from her. Seriously...can you imagine her childhood sweetheart, Justin Trousersnake copping that on the chin?
Love those golden images at the end especially the grope. Always guaranteed to get out a rise out of someone (Pun intended).
Have a great weekend B.
I wonder if Brooke will teach her daughters about having sex sooner.
And about the importance of dental care after fellatio.
Brooke should also teach that to Adam.
What does Ashton do anymore? Besides being a creepy step-dad to girls who could be his little sisters?
I like Jessica. and her two friends. But I couldn't sit through a 5 minute interview with her.
Mel is creepy. and so is his girlfriend.
Ditto what Heff said about Adriana.
Chris Brown isn't worth a thought to waste here.
Have a great weekend.
I wish Brook Shields would've had sex earlier too. With me.
One look at that picture ends all speculation about Adam Lambert's sexuality. That boy looks like he relishes being on the receiving end of a glory hole.
What will Twitter do without Ashton?!? Wait, probably go on being popular.
What do you expect Jessica Simpson's dad to comment on? It's not like he can compliment her on her brains.
I wonder if Mel Gibson will name it William Wallace Jr. if he has a boy.
You're right, a deal with the devil is the only explanation for Marko Jaric to have such a gorgeous wife.
Really? Chris Brown has been silent? That couldn't go on longer? For my sake, and everyone else's?
Now I want to go explore some ancient ruins, and hopefully get groped in the process. Have a good weekend!
Because our kids need to be hearing the phrase "I would've had sex a lot earlier" right now. I know; she was 22 but let's be honest, teenagers have selective hearing and will miss that part.
Ashton Kutchner...has he entered the realm of famous for being famous (and married)? I cannot think of a thing he has done in 5 years...
Have a great weekend, $$ ~ and don't forget to keep us posted on the patio interview saga as it unfolds.
The day I start a Twitter account so I can follow Ashton Kutcher is the day I've officially lost my mind. Pfffft.
Wigsf's comment made me spit coffee out and this was a classic QHF, complete with Heff.
Have a great weekend!
Gypsy – Great to see you around, and yeah, Spears certainly made up for lost time with some poor choices once she left Timberlake and her “virginity” so who knows the best route, eh? And I figured you’d like that last gold image as I try – try – to be fair around here. Happy Friday.
Kmwthay – Appreciate the detail, so I think you should dedicate a post on yr. site to the dental care aspect, ha, ditto Adam, I have absolutely no idea what Kutcher does except what you mentioned and those camera commercials, Jessica might be fine on the show though I have no idea who her friends are, agree about Gibson and his girlfriend as it seems a bit cuckoo, ditto on you and Heff, I’m tired of Brown stories too and have a great weekend.
Nobich – Happy Friday to you.
Native Minnow – Appreciate the detail, I’m sure a lot of guys would have lobbied for the role with Shields, ha, I’d be loads of money on less than straight, Twitter will somehow manage to survive without Kutcher, good point about Simpson, that has to be it with Jarcovic – doesn’t it?, wish Brown would stay on hiatus and good luck with the ruins and the groping this weekend. Happy Friday.
Bostonpobble – Yeah, selective hearing I would imagine . . . and from what I can tell, this waiting is no longer a problem, at least from articles I’ve read & such. Who knows? I’ve been out of that scene for awhile, so I can’t honestly say. Kutcher hasn’t done anything of note in the last 5 years as I only seem him in Nikkon commercials. And I will keep the information flowing, although it might end quickly as recruiters often disappear into the wind. The next time I’m supposed to hear anything is early June to see if I get an interview with the actual company . . . we’ll see. Happy Friday Pobble.
Boxer – Yep. A good way to start the day with a spray of coffee – as long as it doesn’t harm the computer. Ha. And if you ever announce that you’ve done that on Twitter, then I will have to strongly urge you reconsider your hold on reality. Have a great weekend.
(the two friends jessica carries in front of her everywhere she goes.) :)
Kmwthay - Duh. Obviously, I'm still a little slow today after going out last night (I'll blame it on that. ha). Thanks for the clarificaiton.
Okay you got me at the bloody movie quote...now I must see that movie, George Clooney, dildos...it has everything!!
Love the last image, have a great weekend!
wow, pictures... boobs.
Mel Gibson's answer is funy... I think he's given too hard of a time, many people don't like jews.
I think I'm going to draw the line at "tweeting". If I want Ashton Kutcher to know something, I'll track the bastard down and carve it into his back with a spoon. Ouch!
Miss Ash - Glad you liked the image and the quote. You can rent one & work on the other yourself. Ha. Hope you had a good weekend.
Slopmaster - There's always some of those on QHF & generally I think Gibson brought most of it no himself as he's a pretty strange dude (and with that kind of money, he can afford to be).
Getoffmylawn - Ha. Brutal, but still, it made me laugh. And yes, I have no desire to Tweet either,although I seem to be in the minority.