Blog Archive

Black Screens & Blue Pills . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Tuesday, May 05, 2009

I showed up for work on Friday morning to find my hard drive had crashed and burned sometime during the night.

A black screen stared back at me, and after working with the IT department, it became clear that the machine was dead. It’s both disturbing and amazing that being locked out of a computer and being without Internet access means I cannot do my job – or at least very, very little of it.

I felt like a male porn star without access to a fistful of Viagra – limp, defenseless and adrift. I wandered around the office trying to keep busy, and kill time. By noon, I had caught up on any stray gossip and bent the ear of a superior to show I was interested in his boring project.

Then, I went home and home is where I have remained until now. Now, my computer has been officially rebuilt and I can’t float the working from home solution any longer to my boss. It’s too bad because I still got my activities done, and was caught up on laundry by the time I was drafted to return.

The salad days are officially over as I now have to search for documents because I failed to properly back up my computer before it turned on me. And before anyone suggests that browsing porn might have caused the machine to break down faster than the digestive system after eating Taco Bell, I never view that kind of filth from the confines of my office.

And that’s just another reason that working from home is so damn good. Whimper.



  1. Heff Says:
  2. Isn't it SAD that most of the workforce is POWERLESS without a computer these days? I've experienced a computer's final gasp as well, and it's not pretty, especially because I WAS viewing that kind of filth from the confines of my office.

  3. Boxer Says:
  4. I have nightmares where I'm in a world with no internet connections or cell phones. **shudder**

    I was going to suggest you fouled your own computer so you'd be able to work from home AND surf porn.

    Nicely done.

  5. BostonPobble Says:
  6. I can't even imagine the horror of the phrase "I now have to search for documents because I failed to properly back up my computer before it turned on me." Good luck.

  7. wigsf Says:
  8. Computers are like women. They suck and blow, but never when you need them to.

  9. Heff - It is sad, and a bit ridiculous when you really think about how little actual tangible evidence exists that we "produce." Ha. But I refuse to think too deeply on it or it will depress me. Sorry to hear you've been in the same boat, and you have to be very selective about which sites won't rot your box.

    Boxer - I know. Even if I want to check out from the 'Net, I still want the option if it exists. Cell phones I could do without far more often. Ha. And thanks as I just wish it would have crashed even harder if it was going to blow.

    Bostonpobble - Luckily, this was my work computer. As soon as it happened, my fear - my biggest FEAR - was that I hadn't sent myself the latest copy of my novel (128 pages and counting) to my personal email. But I did. Whew. I know you could feel that kind of pain. And yes, I do write at the office in the early a.m. when nobody is here and I do my best writing.

    WIGSF - Ouch. Ha. That might be a bit extreme, but my computer definitely turned against me with absolutely no warning . . .

  10. JLee Says:
  11. You said "rot your box" hehehehehe

    Sorry your little hiatus was short lived. You could have stayed home a few days and worked in your underwear, eating cereal and doing laundry at the same time, maybe catching up on some tv shows in between.

  12. Gypsy Says:
  13. Is it wrong of me to ask what those blue pills are and for what medical condition you need them? I'm always looking for new and interesting prescription drugs, only coz I'm too much of a wuss to do the illegal kind.

    A crashed computer is a horror I have yet to experience. I go into a meltdown every time my connection goes down.

  14. kmwthay Says:
  15. Sorry I've been nonexistent lately. The Big Work Event kicked my ass and I was sick for the entire week following. (I will have a blog recap of the event up sometime this week, so come check it out.)

    OK - so a few months ago I had a similar problem, but I was faced with 'the blue screen of death.'

    The IT peeps would get it back up and running, but a few weeks would go by and the same thing would happen again.

    Eventually, they installed a Malware program and I run it once a week. I haven't had the problem since.

    Just an idea - probably worth a try.

  16. BostonPobble Says:
  17. TTG! My heart went in my throat as I read your fear and was relieved to hear you had indeed sent the email. And...ummm...of course you write at work. Don't all authors? ;)

  18. TROLL Y2K Says:
  19. Primary Advantages to owning your own bidness.

    1) Can work nekkid often and drunk occasionally.

    2) Can surf porn at will.


    1) When the puter crashes YOU are responsible for the cost of fixing and replacing.

    2) Puters (at least laptops) are designed to crash when far away from home PC back-up.

    3) I currently own FIVE working laptops because of Number Two.

  20. Jlee – Ha. I know as the pun was intended as was “ . . . would have crashed even harder if it was going to blow.”  As for working from home, several of those things are pluses, but day-time television is putrid and unwatchable. That would drive me out to the gym or somewhere outside as nobody should be subjected to that dreck.

    Gypsy – That’s good yours never collapsed entirely, but I recall some instances where things were going sideways on you. Ha. Hopefully we’re both fine on that account for awhile. As for the pills, surely they market Viagra in Austrailia for longer, harder erections for men . . .yes? I hear they work pretty well, but go see a doctor if it lasts more than 4 hours. Seriously.

    Kmwthay – Glad to see you back as work CAN and DOES kick everyone in the ass on occasion. Hopefully, it came off with few hitches. Thanks for the tip as well as they didn’t think it was Malware/Spyware related, just an old hard drive who finally went out to pasture. But you never know . . .

    Bostonpobble – I figure you are right. Ha. But then again, I know some who like to write at night & that is not me at all because my creativity goes straight into the toilet with each passing hour of the day.

    Chef Troll – Wow. 5 laptops, eh? That is serious when it comes to aversion against crashing, but as you mentioned, they love to pull that crap whenever they are far away from home. And yes, #1 & #2 are definitely positives . . . if there was only a way for somebody else to foot the bill when it crashes then you get the best of both worlds.

  21. Miss Ash Says:
  22. I love when my computer goes down, I can read the paper, visit with co workers, wander around aimlessly.

    Working at home though, that's the shit! Stay in your jammies all day good times.

  23. I don't back up my files often enough. It's probably been about a month since I last did. I should get on that. Tomorrow. First thing tomorrow.

  24. Farzan Says:
  25. Dang that sucks man, That happened to me once and I lost alot of my files.

  26. Gypsy Says:
  27. Oh yes we do have viagra here but I have personally never had need of it....and you can take that any way you like ;)

    WORD VERIFICATION: uplate...very appropriate.

  28. Miss Ash - Exactly & I wish I could have stayed in the Shit a few days longer. Ha.

    Native Minnow - That's exactly the thinking which got me in trouble. Ha. I always plan to backup tomorrow. I also plan to learn how to backup tomorrow. One step at a time, eh?

    Gypsy - Very appropriate indeed . . . and I'll take that as a compliment to you as far as the lack of medicine needed Down Under (pun intended). :)

    Farzan - I know. I have got to get better at backing things up, but at least this was only my work computer and I didn't have much of anything personal on it, so small favors.

  29. kmwthay Says:
  30. I finally posted about the event that kicked my ass. come check it out when you have time.


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