“Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker.” – Matt Damon, “Rounders”
I enjoyed the hell out of ‘Rounders’ despite never playing a hand of Texas Hold’em poker in my life. And I don’t plan to start dealing myself into that mix today, and instead, will simply focus on putting another week behind me and then escaping into the heat, which is already hovering above 90 degrees in Austin.
Before I start sweating, however, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Kirstie Alley told People magazine for a cover story this week that after stepping on the scale for the first time in 15 months, she realized that she had gained 83 lbs.
"I started screaming," recalls Alley. "It said 228 lbs., which is my highest weight ever. I was so much more disgusting than I thought!" During her three-year stint as a Jenny Craig spokeswoman, she famously trimmed down to 145 lbs., but since parting ways with company in 2007, she had not worked out and banished her gym equipment to the garage.
"I fell off the horse," says the 5'8" star. 
It’s true – first Alley fell off the Horse and then she ate it with lots and lots of ketchup.
A 20-year-old man was arrested over the weekend after storming the stage during a Britney Spears concert in Connecticut.
Kyle King jumped on stage during Spears’ performance of her hit song ‘Womanizer’ and attempted to dance with the pop star before being dragged off stage by her dancers and security. King was arrested for breach of peace and was reportedly uncooperative with police.
The police then took a cue from ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time” and beat King in rhythm.
David Hasselhoff admitted to drinking this past weekend, however, denied that he suffered severe alcohol poisoning as was originally reported.
RadarOnline.com said Hasselhoff was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles Saturday with a registered a blood-alcohol content of .39, after his 16-year-old daughter found him unconscious on the floor of his home in Encino, Calif.
Hasselhoff’s lawyers released a statement “ . . . Mr. Hasselhoff is both disturbed and saddened by the fact that a certain individual is disseminating grossly inaccurate stories about him to the press for ulterior motives." 
That certain individual was later revealed as KIT, his car which had been nursing a severe grudge for years against the actor.
Kiefer Sutherland allegedly head-butted a man after coming to the unrequested defense of Brooke Shields early Tuesday morning in Downtown Manhattan.
New York's Daily News reported that designer Jack McCollough – a friend of Shields's – interrupted her and Sutherland while they were speaking outside the SoHo nightspot SubMercer, resulting in the head-butt after the two men exchanged words.
"Nothing happened to her ... Jack did nothing inappropriate. It's not clear what caused Kiefer to do what he did," a rep for Shields told TMZ.com.
The designer reportedly received a minor cut on his nose. McCollough is quoted as telling authorities that Sutherland "was drunk and obnoxious and wouldn't back down or be logical.”
Sutherland told authorities that McCollough was withholding valuable information needed to thwart a plot to destroy the United States in the next ’24’ hours.
Paula Abdul told Ladies’ Home Journal in their new issue that she’s never been drunk, but she does admit that she can “get weird.”
In the June issue of the magazine, it’s revealed that Abdul had a condition, reflex sympathetic dystrophy syndrome, that required aggressive pain management. She wore a patch that delivered a pain medication 80 times more potent than morphine, took a nerve medication, and sometimes took a muscle relaxer, according to LHJ. It was this combination that Abdul said caused her to “get weird,” at times. 
There was no explanation, however, for Abdul’s sudden refusal to work with MC Scat Cat after their triumphant success in the “Opposites Attract” video.
The directors of the Miss California USA pageant are looking into whether title holder Carrie Prejean violated her contract by working with a national group opposed to same-sex marriage and by posing semi-nude when she was a teenage model.
Pageant spokesman Roger Neal said Tuesday it appears Prejean has run afoul of several sections of the 12-page contract. The contract contains a clause asking participants to say whether they have conducted themselves "in accordance with the highest ethical and moral standards,” and lists if they have ever been photographed nude or partially nude as an example.
"As you can see from the contract, she violated multiple items," Neal told The Associated Press.
In her defense, I’m not entirely sure that Prejean can read.
Jon Gosselin – husband of TLC's top-rated Jon and Kate Plus Eight – denied recent tabloid coverage that alleged the 32-year-old father was unfaithful to his wife, Kate.
In the early morning hours of April 18, a paparazzo photographed Jon leaving a Pennsylvania bar with a woman while Kate was out of town promoting her latest book, Eight Little Faces. 
I don’t know if the allegations are true, and while I’ve only seen clips from the show, I don’t think anyone would begrudge Jon a little respite from Kate now and again.
As always, let’s end with a gold image or two: 
I’m still stuck on the colorful themes this week largely because that’s what I’m finding in Cyberspace as most of the other naked women pictures have been accompanied by a male penis in tow.
So, realize that black and white situations are few and far between, embrace a little shot of color into your life and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
I haven't got much to say. You used the ate the horse line before I got a chance to.
So Kiefer beat the crap outta some guy. Whoopidy-friggin-doo. He's Canadian. He doesn't need a reason to pick a fight. We fight for the sheer joy of fighting.
WIGSF - I'll take the first horse line victory dance then . . . Ha. But you did remind me that Sutherland was Canadian as I had completely forgotten that fact. Happy Friday.
I don't think one could be said to have lived a full life without having mastered Hold-Em Poker. On the other hand, here are a list of things I'd rather do than see "Rounders" or anything else with Matilda Damon.
1) Have sex with Kirstie Alley.
2) Work as Britney's sanity monitor.
3) Work as Paula Addul's Martian-To-English translator.
4) Make David Hasslehoff my designated driver.
5) Spend a day with the vicious lavendar mafia that for some odd reason controls California's beauty contests.
6) Spend one minute with Miss California tormentor Perez Hilton.
7) Be an emcee at an event where he would be forced to describe both Damon and Affleck as "actors".
You know I never paid much attention to Kirste however I saw her on Oprah recently and she was hilarious! I really liked her sense of humour.
As for Spears, I saw a clip of the video, she was "singing" at the time and let out a big scream like "ahhhhhh" cause the guy startled her however there was no "ahhhhh" on the mic.
Happy Friday!
Oh and feel free to post a Black and White photo with a penis in tow, we don't mind!
How do you suddenly wake up and realize you've gained 83 lbs? I notice when I've gained ONE. ha
She needs an intervention I'm afraid.
I've never watched "John and Kate" but find the clips on "The Soup" hysterical, how they have thought bubbles for him while she's talking. I can't say I blame the guy for wanting to get the hell away from her! lol
The weather is hot and muggy, but I saw for Sunday a high of only 72. Weird. Have a good one and stay cool...
I love Kiefer as Jack Bauer. 24 is one of my favorite shows and I am so glad that this season is so much better than the last two. Paula is the weirdest person on the planet. I think she is even more weird than Anna Nicole Smith was on that wacky show she had. Enjoy your weekend. I'll be enjoying mine as I 'walk' for graduation tomorrow.
ChefTroll – Ha. You’re right about the list as they would all be somewhat challenging positions. And yes, I know I need to learn to play a proficient hand of Hold ‘em, but I figure it’s a sport that I can learn long after my body betrays me & makes me quit the active ones. I’ll leave the mastery to you & others as proficient is fine by me. Happy Friday.
Miss Ash – Alley is usually pretty funny, and generally, she has good comic timing. That’s hilarious about Spears as she undoubtedly lip-syncs her concerts, but still . . . pretty funny. And it has to Black and White, eh? Ha. Happy Friday.
Jlee – Those clips on ‘The Soup’ are the ones I’ve seen as well, and she doesn’t come off well. Ha. I know what you mean about Alley as there has to be a middle ground between 1 and 83 lbs. That’s crazy about the Sunday weather, but it’s supposed to be about 88 & muggy here by then. Selah. Happy Friday!
Kmwthay – I haven’t seen ‘24’ since the second season, although I remember reading that last season was fairly horrible & this one was better. I hope you enjoy your graduation to the fullest & don’t pull any wacky Paula stunts there. Ha. She is truly bizarre, but Anna Nicole could hold her own too. Happy Friday.
"Late Heff Friday !!!"
This Kirstie Alley stuff is getting OLD. I think she just gains weight to kick start her career every few years, with a huge feat of "Weight-Loss Amazement". If she wants to amaze me, she'll lose it, keep it off, and GET LOST.
Are you sure Kyle King wasn't arrested for Breach of "Piece" ?
All I've got to say is, "I WANNA PARTY WITH HOFF !!"
Kiefer Sutherland should be head-butted for DEFENDING Brooke Shields !
You mean there's a CHANCE Paula Abdul's actually NOT an idiot ???
Hey, wasn't Carrie Prejean "partially nude" for the PAGEANT ? Kinda contradicting, if you ask me !
There are already rumors of a show for Jon Gosselin for next season. I'm sure "No More Kate - I Must Masturbate" will be a huge success.
And in closing, damn, I love a woman in a corset. I'm starting to feel constricted myself !!
Have a hot weekend, BDS !
That is probably one of my favorite movie quotes. I always bring it ups when we talk about gambling. I'm always impressed that you find such flattering photos of folks with such ugly baggage. Will boldly go to the theater for Star Trek this weekend. Happy Friday!
Happy Friday!!
What a week. Where to start?
I think Paula is back on the whack after watching her "sing" on American Idol this week and I have to admit I find Kiefer one hawt guy and the head butting only made him hotter.
Troll and Heff are soooooo 'jacking your post today.
Happy Friday!
Heff - It's OK to be late as long as you bring it. Ha. So, with that in mind, that is Alley's occupation, I agree 100% about the HOff, I don't know if I buy the no-idiot Abdul thing yet, Jon deserves that show, you're spot-on about the corsets & Happy Friday Heff.
Linda - I chalk it up to a lot of luck. Ha. And I agree about the quote as I love it as well, and really enjoyed that movie (note to self: need to re-watch as I own it on DVD). I too, am going to see 'Star Trek, so I'll check your review out for sure.
Nobich - Happy Friday to you!
Boxer - What a week indeed . . . I tend to like Sutherland even if I think he seems like a pretty awful drunk from several stories I've read now. Ha. And yes, everyone wants a piece & a chance to jack QHF. Vultures. Ha. Happy Friday in the NW!
How does one gain 83 pounds without seeming to notice? Denial anyone? That's like a 12 year old child.
Britney and King will be married within a year.
I used to want a car like KIT. Still do. Even if he can be vengeful.
I'm pretty sure I never want to take a head butt from anyone, least of all Jack Bauer.
I wonder if the pain killers had anything to do with Paula Abdul's getting weird.
Ms. California can pose nude or semi-nude for me anytime. I don't even care that she is stupid. When it comes to ogling, that doesn't matter.
If the guy from Kate plus eight can find a chick to hook up with, what's my problem? Wait, don't answer that.
Maybe I'm weird but I find Beauty Pageants to be like Cattle Shows only more vicious. Seriously...they make reality TV look like Emmy Award winning stuff.
If Kirsty Alley didn't notice she'd gained 83 poinds then she has clearly been walking round naked all this time. I think a tightening waistband and split pants might have given her a clue.
I've said it before and I'll say it again B....a male penis in tow will not be a problem. High five Miss Ash.
Enjoy your weekend B. We are currently enjoying some beautiful mild Autumn weather and I'm loving it.
Native Minnnow - Appreciate the detail . . . I don't really believe Alley, saw a clip of King and seems a bit loony, you're dead right about not wanting a head-butt from anyone, yes to the pain killer question, ogling knows no IQ bounds, and we'll leave the last one unanswered. Why not?
Gypsy - Glad to hear someone is getting good weather. Ha. Soak it up. I know what you mean about Alley, and yes, I don't know how anyone can watch beauty pagents for more than 5 minutes (or maybe for the swimsuit competition). I'll keep the penis shots in mind. Ha.