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Quick Hit Friday . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Friday, May 01, 2009

“I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgeory to remove our godamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of you're assholes! I gotta be crazy! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!” – Chevy Chase, “National Lampoon's Vacation”

That was a funny movie, and even ‘European Vacation’ had its moments despite the insertion of brand-new children into the mix. I am also on a quest for fun today, and the only place I know it doesn’t exist, is at the office. So, before I leave early to seek it, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are finally husband and wife, a rep for the “Hills” stars confirmed to Access Hollywood this week.

“Today Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt joined hands in marriage during an afternoon ceremony at Westminster Presbyterian Church in Pasadena, Calif.,” their rep said. “Dr. Twining F. Campbell served as pastor in front of 200 family and friends. Afterward, the newlywed couple enjoyed an intimate reception at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel in Beverly Hills, Calif.”

$2 Dollar Productions has already sent the lucky couple their wedding present – a hot tub filled with piranhas - and I hope they use it immediately.

Casey Aldridge, the father of Jamie Lynn Spears’ baby, was injured early Monday morning in a one-vehicle crash in Louisiana. Master Trooper Billy Zeigler says Aldridge was taken to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries.

I guess a condom isn’t the only thing that Aldridge cannot operate properly.

A New York judge convicted a Georgia man of stalking Tyra Banks this week.

Manhattan Criminal Court Judge James Burke heard the case without a jury. He convicted 39-year-old Brady Green of stalking, harassment, criminal trespass and attempted aggravated harassment. Green faces as many as 90 days in jail when he is sentenced in June.

The judge’s sentence seems somewhat harsh considering that anyone who would willingly hang around Tyra Banks is obviously clinically insane.

After a six-year hiatus, multi-platinum selling rock band Creed have reunited for a new record tentatively titled Full Circle.

"We never felt like we weren't together," says frontman Scott Stapp. "We're not looking at this as a reunion. It's more of a rebirth."

My own Creed concerning the band is simple: They stink.

Sarah Jessica Parker and husband Matthew Broderick are expecting twin daughters through a surrogate, according to a statement released this week.

The pair are "happily anticipating the birth of their twin daughters later this summer with the generous help of a surrogate," said the statement.

Apparently Parker and Broderick have been having ‘Sex in the City’ – just not with each other.

Sean Penn filed for legal separation this week from his wife of 13 years, Robin Wright Penn.

The couple has two children together, daughter Dylan Frances, 18, and son Hopper Jack, 15, and they had previously filed for divorce in 2007 but then requested that the petition be denied in April of last year.

This is no real surprise because anyone who saw Penn’s outstanding work in ‘Milk’ last year knows that he’s obviously gay (and Mickey Rourke still should have won the Oscar).

More than two weeks after his wife filed for divorce, Mel Gibson made a rare public appearance with his girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, Tuesday night at the L.A. industry screening of "X-Men Origins: Wolverine."

"Mel has been single for almost three years and it's nice to see him getting out and enjoying himself," his rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.

His rep later added: “And he’s been crazy for nearly 30 years, so cut the guy some slack.”

During a salute to Tom Hanks this week, Julia Roberts delivered a profane introductory speech that was received well by the audience.

"It's late, and I'm paying my babysitter overtime, and I have to pee," said Roberts at Monday's 36th annual Film Society of Lincoln Center Gala Tribute, where Hanks was presented the new Chaplin Award.

Roberts told Hanks, "So, everybody f---ing likes you" before moving on to discuss his 2004 movie The Terminal and said "That movie about you and the airport and the accent was a pass for me. Airport? Were you just an immigrant lost? I didn't know. I love you, but I didn’t know … and I'm wearing the same f---ing dress tonight as your publicist."

Well, fuck me, but I now like Julia Roberts a little bit more.

Rosie O’Donnell and Star Jones ended their feud at a charity event this week.

"Grown up women actually know how to go, 'You know what, you pissed me off,' and then they go, 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to piss you off,'" Jones told Access Hollywood at the 2009 Passing It On Gala, which benefited O'Donnell's Broadway Kids charity.

O'Donnell continued, "The great thing about celebrity feuds is they're never really real in real life you know? It's not like Star and I were prank calling each other."

Their feud began in 2006 after O'Donnell slammed Jones for keeping her gastric bypass surgery a secret from viewers -- a fued Jones says was mostly created by the media.

The pair officially ended the feud after the event by eating an entire cheesecake together while making fun of Elizabeth Hasselbeck.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or three:

The weather is turning warm, and I felt like draping myself in partial nudity and color today. So, don’t be afraid to brighten things up today, don’t shrink from any color palette and . . . Happy Friday!



  1. Heff Says:
  2. -Quick Heff Friday !!! -

    I wonder if Spencer Pratt has put his "creepy flesh colored beard" on Montag's lovely flesh colored.....Oh, nevermind.

    Casey Aldridge "lost control" again, huh ? lol

    We need to sign a petition to free Brady Green, so he could possibly "finish the job" with Tyra.

    Scott Stapp's drunk ass is back with Creed ? And they didn't even change the name of the band to "Alcohollica"

    Surrogate children for Sarah Jessica Parker - Thank God. I won't need to send the gift of paper bags for their children's heads.

    Some fool stayed with Sean Penn for 13 years ?!?!? Boy, she "Milked" that one. (oh...)

    My props to Gibson for grabbing what's obviously a fine WHORE. Way to go, Mel !!

    Some times I just f.......wish Julia F......Roberts would just f.......shut the f...... up.

    Rosie O’Donnell and Star Jones made up ? SHIT !!! I was hoping for a "Sumo-Smackdown" in 2009 !

    And in closing, I don't think the girl in the second pic can be washed clean !

    Have a good one, BDS !

  3. wigsf Says:
  4. I loved all three Vacation movies. They're great. (Vegas don't count because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.)

    So, Britney and Justin's stunt doubles got married even though their originals couldn't make it work. Good to hear.

    Just be thankful a Spears consort is smart enough to operate his own penis.

    Isn't Tyra usually on the other side of the courtroom?

    For once, I would love to see a band get back together and title the new album after what it's really all about, "We're Broke and Even Hand Models Won't Date Us Anymore."

    At what age will SJP's babies start to call her "mom"? She won't birth the babies. Nannies are going to raise them and they'll probably be given Matthew's last name. Other than being an egg donor, what role does SJP really have with those babies?

    Robin: Sean, I want a divorce.
    Sean: As you wish.

    Mel Gibson doesn't deserve all the negative treatment he gets from the press. There, I said it.

    Julia Roberts, best thing she ever did next to stop making movies is that speech.

    Oh my God! Rosie and Star are the same woman. Look at that pic. Same woman, just different skin.

    And when you're done with that chick in the purple boots, send her my way. I got some laundry that needs tending to. Ah, screw the laundry. Daddy needs to get dirty!

  5. Am I the only one in the world who didn't know Ferris Bueller and Carrie Bradshaw were a couple?

  6. nobich Says:
  7. Yes Native Minnow you are..& Happy Friday!!!

  8. Boxer Says:
  9. I love those Vacation movies. Again, some of the best one liners... "I don't know why they call it tuna helper, it doesn't need tuna at all."

    As for the week in H-Wood...... I'm feeling oldy today. Heff, is in fine form, btw.

    Have a great weekend!

  10. BostonPobble Says:
  11. I love the fact that no magazine wanted Pratt and Montag's wedding photos. Truth ~ I don't even know why these people are famous.

    Aren't SJP and Broderick divorcing?

    You seem to feel about Roberts the same way I felt when I heard about Obama dropping the f-bomb. There's something humanizing about that word, isn't there?

    And that Dita???? 'Cause you can Never go wrong with Dita! :)

    Happy Friday.

  12. Miss Ash Says:
  13. Creed.....oh lord.....

    Next thing you know Milli Vanilli will be back together....oh wait....didn't one of them die or something? Nevermind

  14. Heff - Good to see back, so love that flesh-colored beard line from 'The Soup,' I'd sign that Tyra petition, had forgotten about Stapp's drinking, ouch on Parker, love any puns, I believe she's a singer, and you're probably right about the girl in the purple boots - sadly. Ha. Have a great weekend Heff.

    WIGSF - Great one-two punch with Heff, so you're right about the Vacation movies, liked the stunt doubles idea, not sure about Tyra (but it's possible), agree completely about the album title, should have used that Buttercup line (great one), I like Gibson OK even though he hasn't helped himself these past few years, you might be right about O'Donnell and Star and good luck washing your clothes on your own as unfortunately I don't know her whereabouts. Happy Friday WIGSF.

    Native Minnow - It's possible . . . that is pretty common knowledge. Ha. Bueller . . . Bueller . . . Bueller. Happy Friday.

    Nobich - I thought so too, and Happy Friday.

    Boxer - Great line from Quaid in that 'Helper' way of his, and yep, this week was about the young and untalented mostly. Ha. Don't feel bad. Have a great weekend yourself.

    Bostonpobble - That's great about the pics as I hadn't heard that, Broderick and Parker were having major trouble last year (?) but I guess they worked it out, agree about Roberts/Obama and the F bomb and really agree about Dita (and yes, that is her). Happy Friday Pobble.

    Miss Ash - I think you're right, although that's a bit morbid for a Friday. Ha. Regardless, have a great one up North.

  15. JLee Says:
  16. "Vacation" rocks and I love the "Heff and WIGSF" show! haha (love the flesh colored beard thing too)
    My coworker appreciates the Dita pic since he's obsesses with her and has met her a few times, but I digress...
    I kind of like the middle pic for some reason. haha
    Have a good weekend :)

  17. Jlee - Vacation is a classic, dueling Heff & WIGSF is always good, your co-worker is a lucky man (and hopefully not a stalker) and feel free to grab some purple boots & have at it this weekend. Ha. Happy Friday.

  18. TROLL Y2K Says:
  19. I had nothing on the QHF but was hopeful I'd find something in the comments to comment on.


  20. Heff Says:
  21. Let's all give a BIG Round of applause to BDS, who evidently actually had to work today, LMAO !!

  22. Troll 2K - Some weeks are like that, but check back next week because you just never know what the hell might happen, eh? Ha. Actually, Hollywood stuff is relatively predictable. Happy Friday.

    Heff - Laugh it up funny man. Ha. Actually, my work computer fried when I showed up today, so I borrowed a co-workers computer on the sly to post - that's how dedicated BDS is to QHF.

  23. Linda Says:
  24. So this week's theme for FQH is crazy!!! What a bunch of kooks! And Gibson's rep confirming his insanity. I did love Julia going all potty mouth at the podium. I could just feel the studio suits having mild coronaries. Ladies in this week's Golden images are sporting impressive footwear! Happy Friday!!

  25. Nomad Says:
  26. I get the feeling that Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker despise each other

  27. Linda - Hope you had a lot of fun last week, and you're right about the crazy factor as this week had its share. And impressive footwear was indeed among the impressive attributes. Ha.

    Nomad - Last year, I would have bet that they'd be divorced by now. But you never can tell with Hollywood marriages . . .

  28. Farzan Says:
  29. Good news indeed


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