Blog Archive

Corporate Etiquette 116 . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Wednesday, May 13, 2009

{The workplace is a jungle filled with jackals, wineheads and bosses with mouths like a crocodile. There are also decent people, but I'm starting to question the percentages. This is the 16th in a series of corporate encounters which offer no easy resolutions.}

I had my performance review with my boss yesterday.

Even if you’ve been performing like a trained seal and blowing out your numbers, these meetings are never any fun, especially in this economic environment. But the session was going fairly well as we reviewed my output from last quarter (highest in our group) as well as my plan for the current quarter.

I’m a bear for detail, so I wasn’t concerned about the written plan I had to present and so I rattled on about my territory strategy, and the deep thinking required to optimize the synergy of the organization to impress prospects by putting our best foot forward as well as maximizing potential revenue through a specific cross-section of testimonials and guerilla marketing. I tried to throw out as many business clich├ęs as possible during the speech.

Towards the end, I also casually mentioned how I scheduled my days with certain activities meant for the home office.

“I see,” said my boss, his eyes lighting just a little. “I noticed you usually leave the office about 4 p.m. correct?”

Actually, I’d been shooting for about 3:50 p.m. lately to avoid traffic, but I stared him in the eyes, and then replied with a simple “Yes.” There was no elaboration beyond that statement. I didn’t attempt to justify it nor point out that it hadn’t affected my production or anything else beyond an efficient confirmation of fact.

He held my gaze for a few seconds, then dropped his eyes down to my written report and said “OK, I guess we’re done here. Keep up the good work.”

It was a great feeling to leave knowing that I now had carte blanche to leave at that time, and also an instructive lesson that saying less can often win you more favor.



  1. JLee Says:
  2. Overachiever. ha
    That's pretty gutsy to leave at 4:00 and simply stand your ground about it. It seems he was going to say something, but then realized you're kicking everybody else's ass and decided to leave it alone. ;)

  3. Heff Says:
  4. Yeah - what Jlee said, except I KNOW you've bailed at 3:30 on some days, lol !

    Business Plans/Meetings are so stupid. "Well, I plan to be as profitable as possible while keeping costs down".

    It just doesn't take a genius to stroke the boss, does it ?

    It IS a good thing you had the numbers to back you up, though.

  5. Jlee - That's what I thought too, and for now, it's paying off. Ha. I think he was wrestling with trying to "manage" me and then just gave up - for now. :)

    Heff - You can't prove it, and I'll call you a liar if declare something like that. But on Friday, yes, there is no way I'm here past 3 pm unless something has gone horribly, horribly wrong. Finally, business plans are a lame exercise for everyone involved - no doubt about it.

  6. kmwthay Says:
  7. I'm snickering at this post. Mostly because of the irony of your words related to me and my job.

    I am to total opposite. I come in later and stay later. I created my own, unofficial hours of 9am to 6pm. I'm not much of a morning person, so this has been working for me.

    It was brought up in my recent annual review, and I gave the same reply. It's worked out nice.

  8. I'm sure he'll bring it up again. And again. And again. It's what management does best.

  9. Boxer Says:
  10. Well done. In this current economy YOU are the ones management needs/wants to keep happy.

    I've always been a management challenge and learned early on that if my numbers were up (and they always were) no one could touch me.

    You've also reminded me why I like working for myself... even if there are days I wish I didn't.

    Congrats! Did he give you a sardine as you left?

  11. Kmwthay - Then you understand exactly the situation. Ha. I'm the opposite - years of being up early has left me a morning person or at least one who does better keeping that schedule (still don't want to talk to people in the a.m.). I say whatever works, and that's what I will say if this comes up again.

    Native Minnow - Yep. There has be something to say to justify the meeting I suppose. Ha. We'll see.

    Boxer - I hope you're right about them needing US. Ha. We'll see. That's funny about you being a management challenge, and then being your own boss which might necessitate a difficult set of discplines. :) But you're right as I was my own boss for about 4 years prior to this gig, and it had a lot of plusses (sp?). No sardines . . . I hate them anyway.

  12. wigsf Says:
  13. "optimize the synergy"

    You might as well have snarfled the garthog while you're at it.

    Must be nice to work in an industry of bull shit.

  14. BostonPobble Says:
  15. Silence is a powerful tool. You seem to have learned how to wield it well. ;)

  16. WIGSF - Yep. Loads of great information imparted in that sentence. Ha. And yes, sometimes it's fun just to laugh at that much BS flying around . . .

    Bostonpobble - I would like to be know as the "Silent Killer" - that would be a cool nickname. Sort of. Probably not. Ha. But yes, it helps immensely versus talking and making an ass of yourself just to fill space.

  17. Gypsy Says:
  18. I think I will refer to you in the future as Mr Cool, as in cool under pressure, or the other kind of cool if you prefer. Either way I am impressed with you throwing out that silent challenge and winning. Well done YOU.

  19. TROLL Y2K Says:
  20. Did you ensure that client relationships were "win/win"?

  21. Gypsy - Thanks as I can think of far worse nicknames than Mr. Cool. Ha. And I will admit that winning a silent challenge is even more fulfilling than a verbal one. :)

    Mr. Troll - Ha. I left that one out, which is my own damn fault as nobody - nobody - can argue with that sentiment.


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