I jinxed myself on Friday when I wrote about seizing the day and enjoying the weather because I became sick as a dog after writing those words and only now feel vaguely human again. 
Few things in life can lay you quite as low as sickness. It had been at least a year since I'd even had a cold, so it started out as shock then progressed to anger before moving onto acceptance and finally back to anger as the weekend stretched out in all its glory. Unfortunately, I viewed it from my bed or the downstairs couch while reading books and magazines and alternately watching the Masters on television. 
Women handle being sick far better than men in my experience. I think this is an admirable quality because I feel myself regress almost immediately upon contracting a virus. Suddenly, I turn from a fiercely independent person who rarely asks for anything into a wretched creature devoid of the ability to function on a basic human level. 
It's a pitiful state of affairs. It's even worse when you know it's happening yet feel powerless to stop it.
Things reached a breaking point by Sunday. At that stage, I had lost all ability to handle life's miniscule setbacks, which frequently happens when I get sick as every little thing further validated my view that the universe was against me.
List of things which were against me:
1) The remote control was on the other side of the coffee table
2) The wind blew a plant over on my balcony
3) I only had a $50 bill and nothing smaller
4) The Vietnamese food I ordered was 10 minutes late
5) They forgot my egg roll
6) My hot water in the bath was too hot
7) A bird was chirping rhythmically outside my window
8) The rhythm somehow corresponded to that silly song "867-5309" and I got that stuck in head for hours
9) I needed to shave, and was out of razors
This was a small sampling of a larger problem. I'm just glad that the worst is behind me, and so is my wife who was forced to deal with the fallout.
At least the weather is still nice.
-BDS
I have to laugh, not AT your misery, but your description of it. (especially the bird's song) ha
It is miserable, especially when the weather is gorgeous (I experienced this early last month) Hopefully, you are on the mend and can get out and enjoy it this coming weekend :)
"The remote control was on the other side of the coffee table"
- A common occurence at the House Of Heff, and I often feel powerless against the situation.
Yucky!! I was once hospitalized for dehydration and started to hallucinate. Then that damn awful song "She's Lump" got stuck in my head for hours and hours and hours. I thought I was going to die!
Jlee - It is funny - after the fact. Ha. There's never a good time to be sick, but as you are aware, there's something truly awful about being ill when the weather is nice. Let's stay away from anymore of it, eh?
Heff - Powerless is an excellent description. You look at the control, but unfortunately, your mind cannot make it move over to your hand. At least mine cannnot - sick or healthy.
Miss Ash - It was no fun at all, and I'm still only about 70% or so, but I'll take it. If you were full-on hallucinating then you had it worse than me. As for the song, I'm not familiar, but it doesn't sound very good from your description. Being sick is just no fun at all.
Men are definitely no fun when they're sick. Glad to hear you're feeling better & my sympathies to your wife. Ha!
Nobich - Thanks as I felt bad for myself and my wife - probably in that order. Ha.
Native Minnow - Appreciate it as I finally am feeling decent again. I agree about the birds as those things don't give a damn about sleep for you or me. It's like they get off on chirping on Saturday mornings.
Having now read that list of 9, I can assure you, the Universe was indeed conspiring against you. Those are boo-worthy at the best of times. While sick...yeah, the Universe having a great karmic laugh. You're not paranoid and it wasn't just because you were sick. Hope this coming weekend is as beautiful and you are in a place to enjoy it!
(My sympathies to Mrs. $$)
lol, that's horrible. I can't believe you haven't been sick in a year. I don't think I've been 100% healthy in the past year.
Those birds really are inconsiderate though... something should be done about them :P
see, you're even funny when you're not well.
I'm late, but still wanted to say howdy.
867-5309 is sung to me alot. And it can drive me nuts. Great. Now I can't get it out of MY head.
Sorry to hear that you haven't been feeling too well. Men as a general rule are terrible patients so forgive me if I feel a teeny bit sorry for Mrs $$. Glad to hear you're on the mend.
Wait....what was that?.....was that Mrs $$ cheering and hip hip hooraying in the background :)
Bostonpobble - Thanks for the best wishes & for confirming that I'm not paranoid. Ha. I think you're dead-on about the "great karmic laugh" bit - except it wasn't very funny to me. And I think I have a decent sense of humor.
Grace - You're probably sick because you're in school and those places are breeding grounds for viruses. When I was in college, there was always stuff being passed around like candy, and you didn't want to catch any of it. As for the birds, I threw ice at them to scare them away, but the stupid song remained. Ha.
Anonymous Boxer - I know you're slammed, so thanks for stopping by and now I'm sorry about that song getting stuck in you head. It's an ugly experience - believe me - and it doesn't matter if you're sick or healthy.
Gypsy - She would appreciate it as I was annoying myself, so it had to have been passed onto others. Ha. And yes, there has been a lot of congratulations at home because men are terrible patients and I'm simply glad to be on the mend. I'll take 80% recovered versus how I was this past weekend anytime.
glad you are feeling better. there is nothing worse than being sick...well, i guess dead would be worse.
Cats - That's a way to look on the bright side, eh? Ha. Thanks as it could certainly be worse, and I'm just ready to be back to 100% again. Soon.