"Ah, heh heh heh. Ever hear of a ritual killing? Ah, heh heh heh heh heh," John Candy, "Uncle Buck"
The weather is holding nicely in Austin, and I'm planning to make up for my previous sick as a dog weekend, so before I blow through my work like a chainsaw through butter and then split, let's look at the important stories of the week such as:
Marilyn Monroe starred in a "graphic" film in the 1950s performing oral sex on an unidentified man, according to a memorabilia collector who says he brokered the recent sale of the film for $1.5 million to a New York businessman who vows to keep it private.
Keya Morgan says the silent, 15-minute, black-and-white, 16 millimeter film was shockingly erotic. "It is graphic," Morgan The Early Show Tuesday. "I was obviously shocked when I saw it." 
Morgan was obviously so shocked that he immediately put it on the market and alerted every media outlet in the country.
Britney Spears was declared sober during her minor fender bender last week as police reported that the pop star passed an alcohol breath test.
Cops said they followed normal procedures when they asked Brit to take a sobriety test after her Mercedes rear-ended another car in stop-and-go traffic on a suburban highway.
A police spokesman later added that the main surprise was that Spears was giving rather than receiving a rear-ending. Ouch. That was far too obvious.
Speaking of deviant sexual issues, a former nanny for Rob Lowe claims the actor sexually abused her for years, but she continued to work for him and his wife because she loved their two sons and needed the job.
In legal papers filed in Santa Barbara, Jessica Gibson says Lowe touched her inappropriately several times between September 2005 and January 2008.
"I always thought it would be different when I went back, but it was not," Gibson said in the lawsuit. "I stayed as long as I did because of the children and because I needed a job."
I'm just waiting for the NannyCam videos to hit the Internet to prove this one way or the other as I hope that Lowe has updated his recording methods since his last cinematic sexual tryst.
Actor Wesley Snipes should serve a maximum three-year prison term and pay a $5 million fine for failing to file his income taxes, U.S. prosecutors recommended in a tax-season court filing.
Prosecutors accused Snipes of years of "brazen defiance" of U.S. tax laws aimed at cheating the government of $41 million, U.S. Attorneys wrote in a court document.
Despite the recommendation, I'm not convinced that Snipes will serve any jail time because if his film - "Passenger 57" - taught us anything, it's to "always bet on black."
Ashlee Simpson is allegedly pregnant and plans to get married next month at a private residence in Southern California, a source close to her family tells PEOPLE.
Simpson, 23, is engaged to Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz, 28, who initially blasted the baby rumors as a "witch hunt." 
Simpson repeatedly attempted to join the witch hunt because "it sounded fun" until the term was fully explained to her.
Police are asking for a misdemeanor child endangerment charge against Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora following his drunken driving arrest in Laguna Beach, Calif., last month.
The 48-year-old musician was stopped after a police officer saw Sambora's black Hummer weaving in traffic, and was arrested after failing a field sobriety test.
The authorities decided to file the additional charges after the children told them that Sambora was driving while making them listen to "Wanted Dead or Alive" on an endless loop.
Let's end far away from any police involvement, and focus on a gold image like this: 
It's often worthwhile to unravel tightly-wound strings, so finish what you start today, maintain a firm hand until you accomplish your goals and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
Great movie, "Uncle Buck"...I like to watch it when I need a good laugh. Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better and congrats on probably the best parting image thus far! Have a great weekend.
wow....that was some sexy parting image!! you must be ready to make up for lost time. happy weekend!
Ah, Marilyn Monroe...one of the first Great American Bimbos...God Love Her.
I thought Snipes had already been let off the hook.
And in closing....WHAT AN ASS !
15 Minutes....ugh!
Glad you're back in full form, happy friday!
Lay off Richie Sambora, he's from New Jersey...
Help me, I can't stop...
Very nice pic @ the end!! After a terrible week, Happy Friday!!!
Jlee - Me too. I need to rent 'Buck' as I haven't seen it in forever and a day. Thanks on the last image as it was pretty stellar me too. Have a great weekend yourself & enjoy the weather.
Vivavavoom - You better believe it. Ha. I have a companion piece to that image for next week, so it's not over yet. Happy Weekend to you.
Heff - Who doesn't love Monroe, eh? Nobody I want to know. Ha. And yes, quite an ass indeed. Top-notch.
Miss Ash - I'm glad to be back - finally. I'm about 90%, which I'll take in a heartbeat over how I've been feeling. Happy Friday.
WhatIgot - I threw in the JBJ shot for you. Ha. I know how you love the man/band. Unfortunately - there is no cure for your ailment. Save your money & succomb.
Nobich - You said it on both accounts. Hope your weekend is better than the week that preceded it. Happy Friday.
A little "girl on girl" action, eh? Someone is clearly feeling better.
The whole Rob Lowe thing just leaves me sad and I'm sickened by the media's response; she's in People this week. Bah.
YOU have a great "re-do" weekend and enjoy that weather; snow is predicted in my part of the world.
Someone should have given Britney a sobriety test before she put on the outfit in that picture.
Anonymous Boxer - I can be feeling like death warmed over & still enjoy that. Ha. But you're right about the health issue. I tend to side w/ Lowe on this issue, but honestly, I haven't read that much about it. It sounds like a money-grab to me. And I hope snow doesn't hit your way unless you want to take it easy inside this weekend (and if so, then snow away). Happy Friday.
Wendy - I think that was in the pre-parental/judge intervention days when that picture was shot. But don't hold me to that.
You must be feeling better, you were in fine form with all your witty little quips.
Beautiful last pic...I think we can all agree she has a top notch ass.
Aside from those great Monroe photos (one of the most beautiful women of all time) this reads like the "police beat" in our local newspaper. What an abysmal week in celebrity news! Here's to you feeling better and Happy Friday!
Gypsy - Thank you as I do feel my brain become fuzzy as well as my body when I'm sick. Hopefully, both are getting back in working order. Ha. Amen on that last comment.
Linda - I know. Ha. Some weeks are like that in celeb news when the police blotter and court reports dominate things. Let's hope the climate lifts next week (but I wouldn't necessarily bet on it). Thanks for the health wishes & Happy Friday to you.
I love John Candy, most of his movies are comfort flicks to me. And like Wendy said, Britney's outfit is beyond horrible... what is that girl thinking?!
I read that there is speculation that the unidentified man in the Marilyn Monroe tape was thought to be JFK. Apparently the CIA brought in several prostitutes who had allegedly been with the president to see if they could identify his member. Probably not true, but makes for a good story.
Grace - I like Candy as well, although some of his movies were a bit suspect. But 'Planes, Trains' & 'Buck' and others were great. I agree completely about Britney as that is pretty damn brutal.
Melissa - Agreed. I think we want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but time and again, she proves that such assumptions are not particularly wise.
Native Minnow - You're right - that's a hell of a good story. I hadn't read that yet, but I'm also hearing that the whole thing is a hoax, which is something that I could also believe. Regardless, I'll probably see how it all turns out.
Marilyn was just so beautiful.
And I love that corset at the end!
Havingmycake - Agreed on both fronts (and ends). Ha.