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The Grime of Traveling . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Tuesday, August 04, 2009

There are only a few ways to feel quite as dirty as spending an entire day traveling.

A couple which leap to mind include alligator wrestling in Louisiana during the summer, changing tires beside a busy freeway, witnessing the Donkey show in Boys Town or swimming in raw sewage.

I left Taos, NM yesterday at 5:45 a.m. and drove three hours to Albuquerque to catch a flight to Dallas and then a connection to Austin. I finally stepped back into my loft at 5:30 p.m. that same day, and felt like I’d been sleeping inside a dumpster for a week.

I’ve never been able to locate the root cause of this kind of traveling grime, but it is always lurking and ready to spread its peculiar brand of funk every chance it gets. Riding in a car is bad enough, but when you combine the vehicle ride with multiple airplane flights, the results become an exercise in pure filthiness.

By the time I had been delayed in Dallas for two hours for no good reason at all, then wolfed down two cheeseburgers from McDonalds, my skin seemed to be caked with an extra layer of sludge and I smelled like overripe fruit. The problem is that there are few ways to combat this dirty assault. Airport bathrooms are the last bastion of the hopeless, and it is impossible to get clean inside one, again for reasons I can’t entirely understand.

Last night, I showered for a lot longer than usual, but even this morning, I can feel the phantom traveling grime trying to stay with me and if I just invent something to solve this problem, I could retire tomorrow.



  1. Heff Says:
  2. So you had a good time then ? Lol !

  3. wigsf Says:
  4. nice ass

  5. Heff - Trip was good, traveling sucks these days . . . Ha.

    WIGSF - He knows it (look at the expression). But thanks.

  6. JLee Says:
  7. Welcome back...I'll bet that was about the best shower ever, eh?
    "smelled like overripe fruit" hahaha

  8. Boxer Says:
  9. I try really hard to only book direct flights, but sometimes that's not easy. I totally agree on the grime and I'm a big fan of also completely washing out the sinuses after flying too. TMI? Oh well. TAOS is beautiful, however.

    Didn't Heff do a great job with your QHF?

  10. Jlee - It was pretty damn good. Ha. Now, the fruit smell is gone . . . thankfully. :)

    Boxer - Yes he did. I left him a comment to that effect this morning on it, and told him that the Viking pic alteration was disturbing to witness first-thing in the a.m. Ha. I agree about direct flights, but unfortunately, you can no longer go direct to Albquerque from Austin (rotten economy), so I have no choice and it stinks. Luckily, my sinuses are generally OK, but my wife flushes hers as well.

  11. nobich Says:
  12. Glad you're back safe if not alittle stinky. Ha!!

  13. BostonPobble Says:
  14. A friend of mine used to call it "washing the airplane off of you." You're right though ~ there is something that increases the ick factor when you have to use more than one type of conveyance during a day. It just...ew.

    Glad you're back, though, and glad you had a good trip in between travel days.

  15. Miss Ash Says:
  16. It's being around countless other people in close proximity that makes one feel nasty. I always feel particularily gross when going into and coming out of an airplane washroom *shudder*

  17. Nobich - Thanks, and I'm back to my usual state of excellent smell . . . Ha.

    Bostonpobble - I did have a good time in the mountains as it was nice to be reminded that cool air still exists. Ha. And yes, your friend is right about washing that off, but unfortunately, the only place to really do that is in your own place.

    Miss Ash - Exactly. Forced containment with people right on top of you is fairly nasty & miserable. Selah. And I feel you completely on the airport bathroom thing. There is nothing good happening there. Ha.

  18. At least some of the grime came from the two McDonald's cheeseburgers.

  19. KayDee Says:
  20. I've always been confused about how one comes to feel so dirty by sitting there and doing nothing. And why do you always feel so tired from sitting on your arse and doing nothing? Just one of life's little anomalies I guess.

    I'm glad you're back on deck B.

  21. kmwthay Says:
  22. welcome back. so, the worst is when you are on a really long flight to London. and you have motion sickness. and you puke in that little airline sack. yep. There's no way not to feel dirty when that happens. ick.

  23. Farzan Says:
  24. LOL, I also hate that too. I sometimes visit Turkey and its a 15 hour flight. Its so fucking long and I just feel like shit when I arrive. I feel like I haven't had a shower in 3 days even though its only been 15 hours.

  25. Native Minnow - Definitely. But every once in awhile, they taste pretty damn good. Sort of. Ha.

    KayDee - Thanks, and it's exactly that question you asked that I cannot figure out either. I just wish there was a cure because it makes no sense at all. :)

    Kmwthay - Ouch. You're right - that tops mine by leaps and bounds. That would be utterly miserable, and let's hope that is the worst you'll ever experience, eh? And to London? That's a long flight . . .

    Farzan - Wow. That is a long flight. The longest I think I'v taken was like 12 hours. But you're right as you just feel like hell after exiting something like that, and there's no good way to combat it. Unfortunately. Except not flying at all. Ha.


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