“What’s F.U.B.A.R.?
Fucked up beyond all recognition,” – Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell, “Tango & Cash”
Man, that was a bad 80s (maybe early 90s) flick, but I remember enjoying it immensely back in middle school when bombastic action and dick jokes could save any project. Selah.
Before I tango or simply walk out of the office to enjoy the 78 degree sunny weather outside, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Josh Hartnett was admitted to the hospital with abdominal pain this week after the health scare landed him in the famed Cedars-Sinai Hospital in L.A.
"Josh Hartnett walked into an ambulance at approximately 1:45 AM this morning suffering from a flare-up of a gastro-intestinal problem that plagued him while he was starring in the West End of London during the production of "Rain Man." Publicist Susan Patricola added, "He is under observation, but is resting comfortably."
Doctors have yet to reveal the cause of his pain, however, the leading theory is that Hartnett became physically ill after accidentally watching some of his own movies.
Madonna appeared in court in Malawi on Monday seeking to adopt Mercy, a young girl from Malawi, but the case was adjourned until April 3.
Malawi civil society groups have said they plan to oppose Madonna's attempted adoption of four-year-old Mercy James.
"The adoption process for Mercy began over a year ago when Madonna met her on one of her visits to Malawi. The connection was instant and profound," spokeswoman Liz Rosenberg said in a statement emailed to Reuters. "Madonna's desire to adopt Mercy is totally heartfelt."
If her adoption fails to go through, then Madonna will turn to her back-up plan and begin paperwork to bring home the muscular 17-year-old Puerto Rican boy she’s had her eye on.
Britney Spears appeared in new ads for Candie’s this week looking very trim, and setting off rumors of digital enhancement.
Spears announced her partnership with the teen brand earlier this month before embarking on her Circus tour. "I had so much fun shooting the Candie's for Kohl’s campaign," Spears says in a statement. "I got to wear the cutest clothes and they are perfect for summer."
“And airbrushing is perfect for the entire year,” Spears later added.
Katherine Heigl of “Grey’s Anatomy,” who last year expressed a desire to be released from her contract to explore movie stardom, stated this week that she is happy to remain on the show as long as they will have her.
"I'm there," Heigl told the Associated Press at a cast party. She added "I'm more than happy to make that compromise. As my agent likes to say, 'High-class problems.' I don't know if I want to continue for five years working 12 months a year, but I can take at least another year or two." 
Translating her statement: Heigl will take another year or two of ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ money because she is concerned that the economy might tank her film career before it starts and she’ll be left with nothing.
A pirated high-quality, full-length work print of the upcoming “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” appeared online Tuesday evening before the movie studio had the file removed. The FBI is investigating as copies of the film quickly propagated and continued to appear on several file-sharing Web sites.
In a related story, there was a spike in adult emergency room treatments Tuesday night for masturbation injuries sustained in parent’s basements from a failure to remove homemade wolverine claws prior to viewing.
Outkast rapper Andre 3000 was arrested this week for driving so fast that police branded him "an accident waiting to happen".
The singer – real name Andre Benjamin – was driving his 2007 Porsche Carrera near Atlanta when he was stopped by police for driving 109mph when the limit is 55mph.
Benjamin tried to explain to the cops that “I Can’t Drive 55,” but he was ticketed anyway, and told that only Sammy Hagar gets away with that excuse.
The finale for hospital drama "ER" aired this week, and ended a 15-year run for the show.
Thursday's two-hour season finale on NBC brought an end to a drama series that boosted the careers of stars including George Clooney and won 22 Emmy awards.
And if you’ve still been watching “ER” these past few years, then you’re likely old enough to benefit from admittance to your local facility.
But let’s not end with snark as I never watched “ER,” so it might be the best show in the world, and instead focus on a gold image or two like: 
Suddenly, I feel very sleepy (despite all the coffee I've consumed), and just want to crawl back in bed. So, don't be afraid to return to your resting place today, bring a friend if you want and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
I don't get Heigl's problem with Grey's, at least it's a decent show that people enjoy. What fabulous film roles has she had....27 Dresses....ummmm yeah okay big superstar!
As for Madonna, I don't get the big deal there are millions of orphaned children all over the world let her save one.
I don't think Kurt Russell gets enough respect. Sure, he makes a lot of shitty movies (Soldier, Escape from Los Angeles), but he's in a bunch of cool movies too (Executive Decision, Unlawful Entry, Overboard).
I would like to see Kurt Russell get some better roles before it's too late and he's too old. Or is it already too late?
Happy Friday!
Miss Ash - I think Heigl is realizing that exact same thing. Ha. I'm generally fine with Madonna adopting the kid, and mainly, I'm just tired of the story itself. Have a good weekend.
WIGSF - Russell was also in the great film, 'Tombstone,' although Val Kilmer stole the show in that one. And yes, Russell is probably on the downside of anything truly great at this point, but never count anyone out as I like Russell just fine & you never know when a good role will appear.
I'm back, Bitch !!!
If I remember correctly, Tango & Cash WAS pretty F.U.B.A.R. as far as movies go - especially that "Why is your gun bigger than mine ? " line.
Josh Hartnett will now change the production title to "Pain, Man."
Re : Madonna - the Malawi civil society will bend, then break, stating "You want another fucking kid ? HAVE MERCY."
Britney Spears MAY have been airbrushed, but I understand that cocaine is an EXCELLENT dietary supplement. So I've been told, anyway....
Katherine Heigl better ride the Grey's Anatomy wave, but Damn - working 12 months a year ?? Who could handle such a task ?!?!
Thank God for the FBI. At least they're there FOR THE IMPORTANT situations - to make sure Jackman's potential profits will be restored for this fine film.
"Say, Dig - Whasss my bail ? "Andre, $ 3000. "
I actually watched ER regularly. Saw almost every damn episode. Without ER in their current line-up, NBC is PROBABLY going to need an Emergency Room.
Sam Harnack Studios needs to rethink their artistic styling. Who the HELL wants a covered breast on the weekend ???
Have a great one, 2Buck !
For a second I thought you were going to tie into the sexy tango from Giles & Cheryl on Dancing With the Stars this week. Holy moley!! I've watched it about 50 times. (thank you Youtube) Men, get thee to a dance lesson!!!! Hot suff! Used to be an ER junkie till about 5 years ago. I got hooked on the finale shows these last few weeks (thanks Tivo). Interesting to see how many people from that show have done well in film. BTW I couldn't drive a Porshe 55 mph either...don't make it right, just kinda funny. Happy Friday!
Heff - Back from hiatus, eh? OK. Always happy to have it, so "genetics - Pee-wee" (embarrasing I remember that response), I think Lohan is on the cocaine diet versus Spears, should have used a $3,000 for Andre, Heigl should consider carefully before speaking about virtually anything it seems, and I wish there was less cover-up in the final pic, but I still liked it well enough. Have a great weekend Heff.
Linda - Ha. I read about that tango, but don't watch DWTS, so I couldn't properly speak to it. It's somewhat amazing that 'ER' pushed out so many stars and aided so many careers, and you have to give it credit as that is a long, long run. And yes, I don't think I could drive a Porsche 55 either - seems like an insult to the car. Happy Friday.
Happy Friday!! & I'm thinking of crawling back into bed too. Rainy here/sleepy
My week has been all messed up. I've totally forgotten that it’s Friday aka wear jeans to work day, (which I LOVE) and am instead sporting slacks. (which I hate.) I have also forgotten to wear my wedding ring. I must have been asleep when I left today.
Ok - now that I have blurted out entirely too much information...
What is that coffee-house-facial-hair that Josh is sporting? He looks like he's trying to be Ethan Hawke. Tool.
Hugh Jackman on the other hand, well, *swoon* If he played his cards right, he could have me.
Who takes Madonna seriously anymore? I believe she lost all credibility when she adopted the fake British accent.
I think Madonna should start on that paperwork to bring home the muscular 17-year-old Puerto Rican boy because she was turned down for the adoption today. It's pretty bad when living in poverty is preferable to living with Madonna.
and WHOW, is that some major airbrushing on Britney. I had to rub my eyes and take a second look.
I'm glad to see your "parnter" Heff is back in fine form and I hope you enjoy that 78 degree weather this weekend.
A co-worker of mine had similar stomach pains. Turned out he was constipated. Hartnett probably was too.
Madonna should think about adopting grandkids instead.
I don't care if she is the next Anna Nicole Smith, I'd still bang Britney. For the money and gifts if for no other reason.
Yeah, I feel pretty sorry for Katherine Heigl. Working 12 months a year must totally suck. Oh wait.
Mr M wears gloves to school every day so he can pretend like he's Wolverine on the playground. My only hope is that he doesn't end up in the ER as a result of an injury like you described when he's older.
I've been pulled over doing double the posted speed limit, and gotten away with a verbal warning. It helps when the cop is one of your dad's best friends.
ER was still on?
I would say that I'd give just about anything for a chance to be with either of those girls. Then I realized that they are in fact girls, and therefore insane and probably not worth it.
Nobich – Happy Friday to you, whether you spend it in bed or not. Enjoy it.
Kmwthay – You can’t forget about Fridays . . . any other day is fine, but not today. Oh well, even with the slacks and sans ring, things could be a whole lot worse. I think that’s an old picture of Hartnett (but couldn’t say for sure), Jackman seems like a fairly reasonable guy to me (though that’s where the attraction ends for me – ha), and Madonna’s accent is ridiculous and still pops up on occasion. Happy Friday.
Boxer – I just saw that Madonna headline, and honestly, I don’t know all the details but it seems like living with Madonna would be preferable to an orphanage wherever Mercy is at. But again, I can’t say I know the ins and outs of the African adoption system. I know what you mean about Spears as they went all in with the brush – a little restraint would have been more believable. I plan to enjoy the weather as I’m meeting people at a wine bar downtown (boy that looks ridiculous/pretentious onscreen, but I rarely do this) and then going to see Seinfeld do stand-up, which should be interesting. Happy Friday.
Native Minnow – Appreciate the detail, so Harnett makes me constipated, Madonna probably has enough kids/grandkids already, Spears looks pretty good right now thanks to all her workouts for her tour, Heigl irritates me for several reasons, Mr. M seems age-appropriate for that kind of thing (it’s the 30-year-olds doing the same who concern me), that is one lucky cop connection you had and you seem to be having an especially angry time with girls lately. Ha. Regardless, Happy Friday.
I saw Seinfeld in 1987 at a local comedy club... his first pilot had just failed. It was one of the best routines I've ever seen and I bet he's just gotten better. Have a great time.
I was wondering if you were going to mention the Hartnett story...I know how partial you are to him ;)
I noticed those ads with Britney and was like "What??" Ridiculous.
Heigl needs to shut up and cash her paycheck.
I don't have much else and need to get to work. haha
Have a good weekend...
I think Kathrine Heigl realized she still needed a paycheck! madonna shmadonna...who cares who she adopts, just do not understand why it always seems to be some child who has family still alive. seems as if there are many orphans in malawi with NO family alive. it is like she lines them up for some weird connection or photo op desirability, decides, and then sorts out details later. very bizarre. I just read a little of what her son said to his biological dad when he saw him again over there and it was so condescending.
oh well...$$ talks
I remember seeing Tango and Cash at the movies and loving it. I wonder how it would stand up now if I were to see it again. Most movies don't stand up to the rigours of time.
I watched the first 7 or 8 seasons of ER and then I'm not sure what happened. I think they kept changing it's time slot over here, I missed too many eps and gave up. Great show though and it deserved to be around a long time.
I loved the first of those two gold images. I prefer naked men but I can still appreciate the artistic value and I don't mind that she's covering one boob.
This QHF made me sad.
78 degrees, huh? Am I allowed to hate you now? Okay, I won't hate you. But dude...
Hey, how's your novel coming along?
Have a great weekend.
Madonna FAILED ! NO MERCY.
Boxer - Thanks, and I did have a very good time. That being said, I think your story is a lot cooler. Ha.
Jlee - Work . . . it's a necessary evil I guess. And you knew I would mention Hartnett, at least to make fun of him. And yes, I agree about Heigl. Hope you had a good weekend.
Vivavavoom - I can believe the condescending part being learned from Madonna, although I missed that story entirely. Interesting. And yes, I do think Heigl suddenly came to her senses & realized she makes a ton of money for a relatively small amount of work. We should all be so lucky.
Romany Angel - I agree about the first picture as I liked it way better despite the lack of complete skin. Ha. I think Tango & Cash stands up if you look at it from a different perspective as I re-visited it because of the same reason and enjoyed it despite it being a bad movie. If that makes sense. Hope you are doing well.
Chef Troll - Some weeks are like that . . . and reading back, I think I was in a foul mood last week.
Bostonpobble - On the novel front, it's going . . . which I'll take for now. It's up to 105 pages and counting, but since I'm not re-reading/editing, I have no idea what's really there. I hope your pages are coming fast and furious and well.
Heff - I saw it too - denied. Have Mercy indeed. The story is probably not over even though I don't really care.