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Quick Hit Friday . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Friday, April 17, 2009

“Here's 50 bucks, take this in case I get drunk and call you a bitch later,” – Vince Vaughn, “Made”


This was a re-teaming of Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau, together again after ‘Swingers,’ but whereas as I loved ‘Swingers,’ I found ‘Made’ to be irritating and painful to watch. That being said, the above was a funny line and one that Vaughn can deliver in his sleep.

Anyway, it’s raining and gray in Austin, but at least it’s the end of the week. So, before I can duck out by 2:30 p.m. at the absolute latest, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Mel Gibson’s wife, Robyn, filed for divorce from the actor this week citing the popular “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for the split, according to TMZ.

“Throughout our marriage and separation we have always strived to maintain the privacy and integrity of our family and will continue to do so,” the Gibsons said in a joint statement released to Access Hollywood on Monday.

Mel and Robyn were married in 1980 after meeting in Australia in 1977 and have seven children together.


In private, Robyn also cited ‘The Passion of the Christ’ and Gibson’s arrest and subsequent sugar tits/anti-Semitic tirade as contributing factors.

Jamie Foxx insulted Miley Cyrus this week on his Sirius radio show The Foxxhole and then later apologized to her on “The Jay Leno Show.”

On the radio show, Foxx, 41, asked: "Who is Miley Cyrus?" As someone explained Cyrus is the star of the popular Hannah Montana franchise, Foxx quipped, "The one with all the gums? She's got to get a gum transplant!" He went on to suggest that Cyrus "make a sex tape and grow up. Get like Britney Spears and do some heroin. Do like Lindsay Lohan and get some crack in your pipe … That's what I want."

He then issued a mea culpa on Jay Leno saying: "I so apologize to [Miley], and this is sincere. I am a comedian, and you guys know that whatever I say, I don't mean any of it. And sometimes, as comedians, as we do, we go a little bit too far."


And sometimes adult comedians pick on 16-year-old girls for reasons that make no sense at all.

In the new issue of ‘GQ’ magazine, Zac Efron told the interviewer about career advice he received from fellow actor Leonardo DiCaprio.

"He said, 'There's one way that you can really f--- this all up. Just do heroin,' " Efron, 21, tells GQ in the May issue. 'If you steer clear of that – the other obstacles you'll be able to navigate.'


It’s ironic that DiCaprio would give that “navigating obstacles” advice when his career was launched because the ‘Titanic’ couldn’t maneuver around a giant iceberg.

Pro wrestling legend Hulk Hogan, embroiled in a bitter divorce with his wife, Linda, told Rolling Stone magazine he can "totally understand" O.J. Simpson, the former football great found liable for the deaths of his wife and another man.

"I could have turned everything into a crime scene like O.J., cutting everybody's throat," Hogan said in the interview for a feature that will run in Friday's edition of the magazine.

"You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can't go to anymore, you're driving through downtown Clearwater [Florida] and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife ...


Hogan continued, “and you know the Iron Shiek is somewhere in Tehran laughing at you . . . it’s just too damn much to bear.”

Lindsay Lohan surfaced this week in a mock dating service video posted on comedy Web site FunnyOrDie.com.

Lohan, 22, recently said that she and DJ Samantha Ronson are taking a "brief break" and the video posted Tuesday is set-up as an eHarmony ad where the actress Lohan says she's "recently single ... I think." She says she's looking for someone to spend the rest of her life with, "or at least the rest of my probation with."

Lohan continues to poke fun at herself, saying she's looking for the perfect mate who likes long walks on the beach, car chases on the Pacific Coast Highway, "antiquing and passing out in Cadillac Escalades."


This is the first reasonable thing Lohan has starred in since “Mean Girls.”

An Austrian court convicted a woman of threatening “CSI: Miami” star David Caruso and sentenced her to seven months in jail in a secure psychiatric unit, officials said Wednesday.

Prosecutors said the woman, identified only as Heidemarie S., allegedly sent more than 100 letters to the American actor in pursuit of an autograph and then sent a death threat in 2007 when he refused to give her one. A court-appointed psychiatrist testified earlier that the woman has a "profound personality disorder."


I’m no psychiatrist, but I could diagnose anyone who enjoys Caruso’s work on “CSI: Miami” as having a “profound personality disorder.”

In other court news, a jury found Phil Spector guilty on Monday of second-degree murder in the shooting death of actress Lana Clarkson.


This seems reasonable since the entire world found him guilty of committing follical murder many years ago.

Billy Bob Thornton and his band canceled the rest of its Canadian tour this week after the actor compared the country's fans to mashed potatoes with no gravy in a testy interview that caused a sensation online.

The Boxmasters opened for Willie Nelson last Thursday in Toronto where they reportedly were booed and met with catcalls of "Here comes the gravy."

A note posted on Nelson's Web site Friday said the Boxmasters were canceling the rest of their Canadian dates "due to one band member and several of the crew having the flu."


If Thornton was more clever, he would have claimed the band was sick from “food poisoning due to rancid mashed potatoes” and started a border war.

{Editor’s note: To all Canadian readers, I bear no animosity & the Border War was merely a joke and not a practical solution. Sometimes, we as comedians, go to far . . . }

But let’s not end with hostility and instead focus on a gold image or two:



I hate when I can't find perfect ending shots or when I have to grope too many mannequins before finding exactly what is real. So, don't be disappointed if you have to settle today, strive for something better tomorrow and in the meantime, Happy Friday!

-BDS

20 comments

  1. wigsf Says:
  2. Vince Vaughn delivers all his lines while asleep. The guy hasn't bothered to be awake during a film shoot since Swingers.

    Looks to me like Mel finally has his FREEEEE-DOOOOOMMMMM!

    Is somebody out there actually listening to Jamie Foxx's satelite radio show? I didn't realize Wanda was a character that could be taken to the radio.

    "Don't do heroin." Sound advice to me.

    Hulk Hogan is allowed to have emotions. He is an actual person with feelings. It don't feel good to watch a guy young enough to be your son driving your car and fucking your wife.

    Lindsay Lohan, well, it wouldn't be QHF without Lindsay, now would it.

    How many different camera angles do you think the death threat letter was analyzed in?

    Canadian audiences are quite often mashed potatoes. We wouldn't appreciate a good show if it bit us on the ass.

    Happy Friday!

     
  3. Miss Ash Says:
  4. Kudos to you sir as this is my favorite Friday post yet! Clever, witty and very enjoyable.

    Irreconcilable differences should no longer be allowed as a "reason", Hogans rant is super creepy, I thought the exact same thing about Caruso (I watch crap TV but I'll never watch CSI Miami)she must have quite the disorder to enjoy his work and lastly Mr. Thornton...I watched the interview on the CBC and it was painful and embarassing for him as he was acting like a 2 year old. I'm glad his band got the "flu" and had to cancel...and by flu I mean had a hissy fit and quit.

     
  5. WIGSF - I appreciate the detail, especially with a busy schedule, so Vaughn was good in 'Into the Wild' recently, the Freedom line was better (should have used it), had not idea about Foxx's show either, no heroin for me, Hogan is justified in being angry, just not O.J. angry, Lohan should be banished but I can't do it, and I'm surprised you would say that about Canadian audiences (had no idea either way). Happy Friday.

     
  6. Miss Ash - Flew by you in Cyberspace . . . Thanks for the good words as some weeks are better than others. Appreciate the detail, everybody cites irr differences, Hogan did go off the deep end, nobody should watch CSI: Miami and I saw a few highlights from that interview as well & Thornton came out as an asshole. Hopefully it was just a horrible day as I generally enjoy his acting even if he is a strange dude. Happy Friday.

     
  7. Heff Says:
  8. "Quick Heff Friday !"

    So the "Passion Of The Gibson" ends in "Apocalypto", huh ? I hope he's got a "Braveheart" to make more films due to all the cash he's gonna lose. Divorce is a "Lethal Weapon".

    It was MUCH more funny than his original commentary to see Jamie Foxx apologize on national television "like a little white bitch" !

    I think Zac Efron's career is headed toward a giant iceberg. I could be wrong.

    Hulk Hogan is currently experiencing the Ultimate piledriver !

    Lindsay Lohan's looking for the perfect MALE ? Oh, you said "Mate". Nevermind...

    Caruso (Pulling off shades) : "That bitch is insane..."

    Phil Spector killed the star of the award-winning film "Barbarian Queen". He deserves to go down.

    Are you sure Billy Bob didn't compare the fans to "French Fried 'Taters without Mustard" ?

    And in closing, is that last shot from the porno version of "The Mask" ?

     
  9. Sadly, the best actor featured in this week's QHF was my old rival Hulk Hogan.

    Whooooooooooooooo! Whooooooooooo!

     
  10. Linda Says:
  11. I'm following Favreau on Twitter. He's filming Ironman 2 right now, so it's pretty cool. Movie geek heaven for me. This FQH is the largest group of men behaving like asses ever collected (except Efron). As each came into the news this week, all I could think is that they needed a good bitch slap. And what would a week be without a Linsay report? Have a great weekend and Happy Friday!

     
  12. Linda Says:
  13. duh ....QHF ....gawd

     
  14. Romany Angel Says:
  15. I keep learning more and more interesting deails about divorce from you B. I didn't realise you even had to give a reason anymore. Robyn Gibson has put up with a lot from Mel but if it's any compensation she will be handsomely rewarded for her pain.


    What the hell is with that hair on that Phil person? Is that for real or is it one of those joke wigs? Seriously....


    Lindsay Lohan...well at least the girl can laugh at herself and I admire that in a person.


    Great QHF as usual and I hope you have a great weekend B.

     
  16. JLee Says:
  17. lol Heff! (he's back ;)

    It is damn hard to top "Swingers" and they should not have even tried to re-do a similar film..usually doesn't work.

    I'm glad Lohan can make fun of herself, I always appreciate when stars can do that, but I'm sure everyone else will continue to do so as well. ha

    Phil Specter should be imprisoned just for his hair alone. Agreed.

    Stay dry this weekend and enjoy!

     
  18. JLee Says:
  19. Look like Angel and I are on the same wavelength! ;)

     
  20. Heff – Back on the attack, so nice work working Apocalytpo into that one as it would have stumped me, agree about Foxx as he turned about quickly on that, think you’re wrong about Efron (at least from what I’ve read which predicts success), feel bad for Hogan, not so much for Lindsay who will date men again, thought Caruso was always putting them on instead of taking them off (could be wrong), Spector probably does as I think he’s guilty, thought about using that taters line as it was a good one, and the Mask would be ripe for a porn reimagining. Happy Friday.

    Ric – But he can’t hold a candle to the Nature Boy, right? Now suck in that gut, Rick. Happy Friday.

    Linda – I liked ‘Iron Man’ and am excited about Mickey Rourke & Scarleet Johananson being in the sequel. Also like Farvreau too. And you might be right about the sheer number of males acting like jackasses as it was their week to shine. Or not. Ha. As for Lohan, it’s amazing she gets so much ink for so little work . . . though I’m contributing too, so it’s hard to blame I guess. Happy Friday to you.

    Romany Angel – There’s always a lot of divorce (and some marriage) on QHF . . . And everybody cites irr differences, which seems to be a catch all for everything. As for Robyn, the stories say their divorce might set a record for highest $$$$ paid out to anyone, ever. It will be interesting. That is Phil’s real hair and I agree about Lohan. Have a great weekend yourself & hope all is well.

    Jlee – Heff is back, ‘Swingers’ cannot be topped for it’s out-0f-left-field shot of freshness at the time, agree 100% about Lohan and Spector, and it is black as hell outside my window right now, but at least it’s Friday. So, Happy Friday to you and have a good one and let’s hope there’s no hail.

     
  21. Boxer Says:
  22. Busy week in the weird world of Hollywood makes for a great Quick Hit Friday.

    Everytime I see that picture of Phil Spector I get creeped out all over again. Please tell that Dude is going to jail.

    Vince Vaughn is just one more bad movie away from playing Zac Efron's Dad in some crap Disney Movie.

     
  23. nobich Says:
  24. Phil Spector is one scary guy!!
    Happy Friday!! Great post today!!

     
  25. Boxer - It did seem like a busy week for Hollywood buffonery this week . . . and yes, nearly every picture I see of Specter gives me a scary vibe, none more so than that one. Ouch. And right now, Matthew Perry is playing Efron's Dad in '17 Again' (read the review at lunch), so you could be right about Vaughn. Ha. Happy Friday.

    Nobich - I agree about Specter 100% & Thanks. Happy Friday to you.

     
  26. BostonPobble Says:
  27. 1. I think Jamie Foxx was the first person to talk sense to Miley Cyrus in a very long time. The words might not have been the greatest; the message was spot on.

    2. I have been used this forum to beg Lindsey Lohan to go the hell away for a while now. If she is going to start making moves like this one, I will cease and desist. Smart move on her part, this.

    3. The last shot is pretty cool, actually. :)

     
  28. That Hulk Hulgan quote may have been the highlight of my week.

     
  29. patrick Says:
  30. Zac Efron did a great job in 17 Again; he carried the movie all by himself

     
  31. Bostonpobble - I think Cyrus is likely a lost cause as she's had too much fame at too young an age, Lohan finally did make a reasonable choice (law of averages, I suppose) and I liked the last shot, just didn't love it. Ha. Hope you had a good weekend.

    Native Minnow - You might want to clarify that statement lest it be used against you in a court of law. Ha.

    Patrick - I'll take your word for it as I really don't plan to see the film (but I'm not really their demographic anyway). I have nothing against Efron, but don't really like him well enough to see anything he's in either . . . mainly ambivalent (sp?).

     
  32. Farzan Says:
  33. Damn, nice shot at the end. The mask makes it look more sexy

     

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