“Look, if it's about that time I puked green slime and masturbated with a crucifix, it was my first keg party, Bobby!” – Anna Faris, “Scary Movie”
This was before Faris got blonde and very skinny, but she has always had some of the best comic timing for any actress in Hollywood. Anyway, I’m off to the wilds of Oklahoma where Internet does not roam to visit grandparents and eat Cadbury Crème Eggs, but before I leave, let’s look at the hard stories of the short week such as:
Levi Johnston - the 18-year-old father of Bristol Palin's baby – went on “The Tyra Banks Show” Monday and discussed his sex life inside Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin’s house, an appearance which prompted an angry response from the Governor.
"Bristol did not even know Levi was going on the show. We're disappointed that Levi and his family, in a quest for fame, attention, and fortune, are engaging in flat-out lies, gross exaggeration, and even distortion of their relationship," says the statement from the Palin family rep.
On the show, Johnston told Tyra Banks that he believes Sarah Palin knew he and Bristol, 18, were having sex when they lived under her roof. "I'm pretty sure she probably knew. Moms are pretty smart," Johnston says.
Obviously Levi didn’t watch Palin’s interview with Katie Couric.
Lindsay Lohan confirmed on Monday that she and DJ Samantha Ronson have broken up.
The couple had started dating about a year ago and had constantly been plagued with rumors of splits and fights. A source told People magazine that Lohan's family is sticking by her side while she deals with the breakup.
"Is she upset? Yes. Has it been a rough week? Yes," the source told People. "But her family's around her, and she's just focusing on business right now."
"We are taking a brief break so I can focus on myself," Lohan told E! News.
Fortunately for the rest of the world, we've already learned that focusing any attention on Lohan is a losing proposition.
Costa Rican police are investigating claims by two photographers that they were shot at by bodyguards at the wedding of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and supermodel Gisele Bundchen.
Agence France-Presse photographer Yuri Cortes and Rolando Aviles of Costa Rican newspaper Al Dia claim Bundchen's bodyguards tried to seize their cameras' memory cards and shot at their car when they drove away. Judicial police spokesman Margarita Morales said Tuesday that her agency was investigating their complaints.
Meanwhile, I’m still investigating how my wedding invitation got lost in the mail.
Britney Spears walked off stage shortly after the start of a concert Wednesday night at Vancouver's GM Place, leaving the crowd to sit in the dark for 30 minutes, and then informing them that the delay was due to cigaratte smoke.
"It's become uncomfortable and unsafe for the performers, including Ms. Spears," the voice announced to the crowd. "The show will resume as soon as the air around the stage is clear."
Chanting and booing ensued until Spears finally came back onstage. 
Strangely enough, the booing continued when the show was officially over as well.
As always, let’s end with a gold image or two: 
I felt like getting my hands on something and now I have another idea, maybe the best idea . . . So, grab a handful today, make sure everyone has a good time and Happy Good Friday to everyone!
-BDS
I never got the whole Lohan/Ronson thing. Strangest couple since Seigfried and Roy. Hope you get your hands on some Cadbury Eggs...I've already downed a few Robin Eggs myself. ha Happy Good Friday!
Cigarette smoke in Vancouver... Yeah, that wasn't from cigarettes, well, at least not tobacco cigarettes. That was hippy smoke there brother.
I think Britney left to have a ciggarette break for a half hour, that was the true story. she isn't singing anyway...so no need to have a voice. she probably just got bored and needed a break.
Ugh. Levi talked about his sex life with Tyra? Who wants to hear about your kids having sex? My kids tell me that's almost as bad as hearing about your parents.
You gotta give Levi Johnston credit - Whenever people want a respectable interview, it's straight to the Tyra Banks show !
I guess Lindsay Lohan proved It IS possible to get "too much pussy.'
Look at Gisele Bundchen's dress ! My memory card is seizing too !
Britney probably complained because it was the "wrong kind of smoke".
A handful, indeed. Have a great weekend.
Can somebody please make Sarah Palin go away?
Can somebody please make Lindsay Lohan go away?
Can somebody please make the paparazzi go away?
Can somebody please make Britney go away?
Just make sure those gold images keep on coming.
My Tivo taped Levi on Tyra and I delteted it though now I kinda wished I had watched it.
Enjoy the cream eggs and being away from the hustle and bustle.
By the way sir that last image is tres sexy!!
Bwahahah to Native's "Plea". I can't agree more.
I'm just sorry those security guards missed the photographers. I mean, scum.
Seeing Adventureland this weekend. Have a great Easter.
Happy Easter, Blessed Be, Merry Cadbury Creme Egg Day. ;) Hope you have a great week.
Happy Friday/ Easter!!
I LOVE Lohan... I don't know why. I hope she doesn't make it all the way back and starts doing layouts on penthouse though.
That last pic brought back some golden memories of the days when I was fit enough, young enough, and double jointed enough to have sex in a car. Sigh.....
Happy Easter B and safe travels.
Faris deserves all the praise for her comic timing. Can't wait to see her in Observe and Report this weekend. Interesting common thread in FQH this week is that Levi Johnson, Sarah Palin and Lindsay Lohan all need to shut the hell up. Gonna give Tyra a pass cuz, after all, she hosts a "talk" show. Have a lovely Easter and Happy Friday!
Jlee - Me either as it was only a matter of time before they bit it. I do have some eggs now, although they have not been eaten - yet.
WIGSF - Really? That's right, I do remember reading something about Vancuver in that direction. Well, Spears should have been used to that I imagine.
Vivavavoom - Ha. You're probably right as I forgot that she generally lip-synchs everything, so yeah, why should the smoke matter?
Wendy - First, I wouldn't talk about anything with Tyra as she is just annoying. But yes, you're right as both sides of the kid/parent sex coin is a bad one . . . no winners.
Heff – Appreciate the detail, I bet Tyra paid Levi more than others, there’s no such thing, Gisele looks pretty good in anything (or nothing) and it could be Spears was mad they weren’t sharing. Hope you had a good one.
Native Minnow – Ha. Agree on all fronts as you summed it up well. I should have kept it more concise, except for the images of course.
Miss Ash – I would have watched some of the show, although I don’t think you should have Tyra in the Tivo. Ha. And thanks on the pic, as I knew one of them would get to you someday. Ha. Law of averages.
Boxer – Hope you had a good weekend and enjoyed ‘Adventureland.’ I read a review this weekend that was pretty good as it was something to the effect of ‘it never soars, but is consistently good.” I’ll take that.
Bostonpobble – Thank you, and I hope you had an excellent Easter weekend out your way too. I’ve got eggs in the fridge (like to eat them cold with milk), and now I’m just tired from all the driving. Ha.
Nobich – Happy Friday (belated) to you.
Slopmaster – There’s apparently some website about Lohan whose mission is “just do porn already.” Seriously. At least somebody told me that . . .
Romany Angel – Ahhh, it was a good one, eh? I liked it as well. Hope you had a great weekend around the way & enjoyed it all.
Linda – Hope you had a good Easter & I need to get over and see your review on ‘Observe & Report’ as it looks very dicey to me . . . might go see it next weekend.
Love the gold image for the finishing touch