“Me and the judge have a special relationship... I don't wanna get too graphic but I sucked his dick for cocaine,” Jane Lynch, “Role Models”
I just rented and watched ‘Role Models’ this week, and it was a decidedly decent flick with enough laughs to sustain it and good ending. Personally, I am all for a quick ending to my time in the office today as it’s gray and raining and I just want to leave the pile of work on my desk to rot until Monday. We’ll see.
In the interim, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Ashlee Simpson signed a deal this week to join the CW’s upcoming revamp of “Melrose Place.” The singer-actress, 24, plans to return to TV as a small-town girl who arrives in Los Angeles with a big secret, according to the Hollywood Reporter. 
The secret, which will only remain hidden until episode 2, is that Simpson cannot act a lick.
Britney Spears continued her ‘Circus’ concert tour this week with a stop in Tampa, FL where the pop star revealed more than she wanted to the capacity audience.
During the show, one of Spears’ leotards apparently rode high, exposing certain parts of her anatomy. The singer loudly complained off-stage during a wardrobe change while her microphone was still on: “My p*#@* was hanging out!," an admission which brought big laughs from the entire arena. 
Spears was apparently angry because she wasn’t supposed to flash her pussy until the encore – the encore dammit.
Chris Brown withdrew his name from the ballot of the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards this week. The embattled pop star had been nominated for favorite male singer and favorite song for "Kiss Kiss" at the March 28 awards show.
A petition had been circulated to take his name off the ballot, and on Wednesday, Brown decided to take his name out of consideration in a statement released to the media.
"Unfortunately, the controversy surrounding the incident last month has shifted the focus from the music to whether he should be allowed to be among those nominated. While Chris would like to speak to his fans directly about this and other issues, pending legal proceedings preclude his doing so at this time. Once the matter before him has been resolved, he intends to do so."
On the plus side, Brown will keep his nominations or rather his legal charges for the Piss-Poor Adult Choice Awards coming to a courtroom later this year.
Hulk Hogan's lawyers have asked a judge to grant the former wrestler access to some of his funds which had been frozen pending the outcome of his divorce.
Attorneys filed documents Monday asking that he be given $300,000 from the frozen assets, claiming that Hogan had back surgery last month which will keep him from working for a time. The motion said he has nearly $411,000 in his bank account and his bills top $312,000.
A breakdown of the bills in question revealed that his expenses were split equally among blonde hair dye, tanning beds and bandanas.
Jessica Simpson performed this week at the Strawberry Festival in Plant City, FL and showcased a slimmer figure by singing in Daisy Dukes shorts.
This counted vaguely as news because the singer was snapped wearing an unflattering outfit earlier this year, and she had previously addressed the ensuing tabloid discussion by thanking various crowds for their support telling them to "Stay positive," she added, "and pray out loud."
Simpson added she prays out loud every night to stop eating Ding Dongs at 2 a.m.
Rap star Coolio was charged on Tuesday with possession of crack cocaine and battery following his arrest last week at the Los Angeles International Airport.
The Grammy-winning performer was taken into custody at the airport after authorities said they found the drug and a crack pipe in his luggage. The battery charge was included because Coolio grabbed an airport screener's arm to prevent the search of his luggage, said Jane Robison, spokeswoman for the Los Angeles County District Attorney.
If convicted, Coolie might find prison is not a ‘Gangster’s Paradaise.”
Mandy Moore married her indie musician fiancé Ryan Adams Tuesday at a small ceremony in Savannah, Georgia after the pair were engaged last month.
Nobody came to the ceremony because nobody really cared.
As always, let’s end with a gold image or three:
The red color scheme just emerged this week as I searched for ending shots. So, keep an eye out for bold colors today, realize you can use them as a litmus test for questions about potential nudity and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
Jane Lynch is absolutely disgusting, and that's why we love her so.
Both Simpson sisters in the news this week. If only either of them had a smidgen of talent.
Since when has Britney not wanted to show people her twat. That's right. I said twat. Not enough people use the word twat anymore.
Hey, that was six gold images. Not one or three. Not complaining mind you.
Jane Lynch's character in Role Models was hilarious! You know it's a slow week in celebrity news when BOTH Simpson sisters end up in QHF. Happy Friday!
WIGSF - I always find Lynch pretty damn funny, although the Simpson sisters are sometimes unintentionally funny. Twat - hadn't heard that for awhile. Ha. Happy Friday.
Getoffmylawn - A fair point . . . I didn't realize just how generous I was this morning. Ha. Have a good one.
Linda - I agree as she was the best part of it for me (I think). And yes, it was a slow week, but I figure things will pick up when spring warms up the weather and causes more Hollywood craziness. Happy Friday.
That quote is pretty damn funny. I may have to check that movie out...
I for one care about Ryan and Mandy, hoping they'll make "beautiful music together" *groan*
Red is a good color to wear when it's rainy and gloomy outside and I happen to be wearing a red Indiana sweatshirt right now. Does that count for anything? Probably not. ha
Have a good weekend!
Curious what the demographic is for Britney Spears concert attendees. I'm personally familiar with the demographics at the Strawberry Festival. Trolls who attend for other reasons and have no idea who the headliner music act is on any given day.
"Nobody came to the ceremony because nobody really cared."
AHAHAHAHAHH. No kidding.
zzzzzzzzz.
I actually wanted to see ROLE MODELS when it was in the theater, so I'm glad to hear it's worth a rental watch.
I agree with Troll - who is buying tickets to watch B.Spears? Old men?
Have a great weekend and I hope you get some sun.
I would like to know what Rhianna's parents are telling her. I have two girls close to her age and if some boyfriend beat up one of them, I'd do everything I could to keep her away from him. I'd probably also have to talk my husband out of paying the batterer a little visit... with a baseball bat.
I'm adding Role Models to my Netflix queue right now.
Someone once told me that the girl I was dating at the time looked like Ashlee Simpson. It made me question what I saw in her.
One would think Britney would be used to flashing her vag around by now.
I'm just surprised that anyone still cares enough about Chris Brown for him to be in the news.
Funny, I had back surgery once too, and managed to come out of it just fine without coming anywhere near the kind of money Hulk Hogan "needs".
Jessica Simpson praying to not eat ding dongs at 2 a.m. could be proof that there is no God since it's clearly not working.
The only surprising thing about Coolio being arrested on drug charges is that it's taken this long for it to happen.
Ryan Adams and Mandy Moore are definitely the new celebrity odd couple. She seems so nice and bubbly as opposed to his moodiness. I give it less than a year.
That line alone makes me want to rent Role Models. Mind you, I have wanted to rent it and yet...that line... Timber often asks me why I want to see some of the comedies that are out but not others. It's impossible to explain to a 15 year old who doesn't inherently get it why that line is priceless while no line in Paul Blart: Mall Cop can earn my $9.50 for a ticket.
And while I really shouldn't pick (but I'm gonna) ~ the pictures weren't up to your usual standards today. Not bad, mind you ~ just not typical $$ Productions fare. Of course, this and a buck fifty...
(Now I'll go back to my 300 pages but a girl's gotta breathe occasionally and the length of this comment is proof of how badly I am in need of some procrastination...I mean air.)
Jlee – Take the movie with you on your trip – good family fun. Ha. And I avoided that pun even though I love them. But the Indiana shirt counts for something, so feel free to follow examples & Happy Friday.
Chef Troll – Good question. I do wonder who is buying tickets these days . . . maybe it’s the girls who were young when she first became popular and now still have an interest? I have no idea, but don’t care to pay the ticket charge to find out for sure. And that’s interesting about the Strawberry festival because I had no idea whatsoever. Happy Friday.
Boxer – Mandy Moore seems nice, but terminally boring to me. I almost saw ‘Role Models’ in theaters too, and if you keep your expectations low, then I think it delivers a fine rental. The sun is supposed to come out on Sunday, so fingers crossed. Happy Friday.
Wendy – Rihanna seems to be getting that same general advice (sans baseball bat) from people as varied as her parents to Oprah Winfrey and news commentators. It doesn’t seem to be working as of yet. The whole thing is just sad & ugly. On a lighter note, Happy Friday.
Native Minnow – Appreciate the detail & I thought about I’d include the Adams story for you (and I dig Adams’ music, so . . .). Ha. Anyway, I think Ashlee Simpson is actually pretty good-looking, agree about Britney as it’s far from the first time, the Brown story just won’t die, you totally dominated the Hulk which is an accomplishment in and of itself, and it’s been years but every once in awhile eating a Ding Dong (cold) at 2 am after the bars close is a pretty rewarding experience. Have a good weekend.
BostonPobble - Flew by you in Cyberspace & I'll let you slide on The “back to writing” line today. Ha. I laughed at the Paul Blart line, and agree 100%, although I would likely pay $9.50 if you didn’t make me watch that one. As for the pictures, there wasn’t a single one that was outstanding which was why I ended up combining them in hopes that the sum was greater than the parts. Obviously it wasn’t. Have a great & Productive weekend.
Ashley Simpson was actually pretty good on 7th heaven. I remember developing a crazy attraction (masturbation addiction) while she was on the show.
I gots nuthin', and I's busy !! Akkkk !
I bought Role Models and watched last night. Jane Lynch was pretty darn funny... "What does this look like to you?" teee heeee.
"Tell her you miss her whispering eye!" - I was rolling.
It was a predictable movie, but there were enough funny moments to hang with it.
I enjoy your weekly recaps of entertainment smut. It's a great way to start off the weekend.
Happy Friday.
Nobich - Happy Friday to you.
Slopmaster - I had actually forgotten entirely that she was on that show until I wrote this post (didn't watch the show itself, so I have no feeling for how good she was, although it was I assume pre-surgery). Hope your addiction has calmed down . . . ha. Have a good one.
Heff - You already shaved yr. face, so how busy can you be? Ha. Regardless, these things happen, so Happy Friday & here's to things calming down next week.
Kmwthay - Glad you like the recap as I have to really dig through a lot of crap to mine this stuff. Ha. And your thoughts on 'Role Models' matched up pretty well with mine. I also liked when Lynch was like " . . . Dr. I don't give a shit" & Rudd goes "Which one of us has the PHD?" Good stuff. Happy Friday.
that actress in the picture from Role Models, she is in all Christopher Guest's movies too cracks me up. She was in 40 year old virgin too as the store manager. I should know her name by now.
Yep. I first saw her in 'Best in Show' and then a lot of Guest's other movies and I always find Jane Lynch pretty funny.