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Less Is More . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Wednesday, March 04, 2009

After years of procrastination and side projects, I finally started writing a novel this past January.

It now stands as 80 pages, and once I hit the 100 page mark, it will definitely feel like something solid and real. The plot concerns a massive oak of a man, an old salesman who has gone soft and jowly and his cross-country, continent-spanning journey to locate an anonymous business mentor with the help of a reluctant younger co-worker.

If successful, the tone will read like “Wonder Boys,” by Michael Chabon crossed with “All My Friends Are Going To Be Strangers,” by Larry McMurtry, two of the finest books I’ve read in the past decade. We’ll see.

Anyway, one of the last things this planet needs is another unfinished novel sitting inside a drawer somewhere. But as I sit here this morning, drinking burned work coffee, it did get me thinking of other things I could stand to see less of such as:

1) Tighty-whitey underwear, especially in gym locker rooms where you cannot escape catching glimpses of it

{Editor’s Note: This is NOT me}
2) Fox News
3) Josh Hartnett movies
4) Canary yellow cars

5) Foie Gras
6) Amateur pornography
7) Graphing calculators
8) Remakes of horror movies
9) Snakes
10) Low-grade marijuana
11) Starbucks sizing terminology
12) Delaware
13) Bad Chinese take-out
14) Dane Cook

15) Work Happy Hours
16) Erectile Dysfunction television ads
17) Fluorescent lighting
18) Lunar eclipses
19) Jellyfish

20) Acquaintances
21) Soft mattresses

I’m sure there are many, many others, but I need to write a few pages on the novel and then I have actual work to do. Unfortunately.



  1. Heff Says:
  2. I agree with ALL. ESPECIALLY DANE COOK.

  3. Boxer Says:
  4. Why the hate on Lunar Eclipses?

    And is that the Naked Cowboy from NYC?


    "8) Remakes of horror movies"

    I hope to be premiering "Chi-Zilla" very soon. My bad.

  5. You missed one: flirty chicks who won't put out.

  6. Heff - I think his time is pretty much done anyway. Let's hope, eh?

    Boxer - So you mastered the new software after all . . . Ha. That's fine with me as I am tired of Friday the 13th coming back to make big bucks with no new ideas. You do it for the art. And I don't have anything against lunar eclipses (or Delaware for that matter). I was just trying to round out 21 things and for whatever reason, it popped into my head.

    WhatIgot - Do they exist anymore? I have been off the market for awhile, but from stories relayed, it's easier than ever to hook up with few strings attached. Maybe I'm wrong . . . it happens.

  7. nobich Says:
  8. # 16- ya mean you don't like Bob??

  9. CHEF TROLL Says:
  10. You don't like Real News, Fair, Balanced, Independent and Unafraid?

  11. Do you encounter a lot of jelly fish in Austin?

    Also, Troll, my parents and the conspiracy theorist I used to work with are the only people I know who would call Fox news fair and balanced.

  12. BostonPobble Says:
  13. Well done, sir! And a bit of unsolicited advice: finish it. Don't worry about editing. Don't worry about if it's any good. Don't worry about if every scene flows well. Don't worry about if your main character's eyes change color 7 times throughout the course of the novel. All that will come ~ after you finish it.

    I will try to let this be the last bit of unsolicited advice. However, feel free to solicit. After all, I don't flirt and then not put out. rofl

  14. JLee Says:
  15. I agree with many...but not all. The only thing worse than Starbucks terminology is people who say "ven-tay". ARG
    I do think you need to get over your jealousy of Josh Hartnett. ha

  16. Nobich - Ha. No. I can do without Bob & the rest of the lot & especially that Viva Viagra crap. Ha.

    TheTroll - Ahhh, I really don't care to get into Fox News as I have old clients who love it & we just agree to disagree about its merits.

    Native Minnow - Thanksfully, there are no jelly fish in Austin, however, I've vacationed in places where they live & I want nothing to do the creatures. I generally feel the same way about Fox News.

    Bostonpobble - I'll take any wisdom, advice, chastisement (sp?) and anything else from published authors. I am doing exactly what you recommend and simply writing the damn thing sans editing and will fix it on the back end. Hopefully. Now, get back to work on your 300 pages! Ha.

  17. Jlee - Flew by you in Cyberspace. I generally just say small, medium or large at Starbucks as Venti sounds ridiculous coming from at least 92.7% percent of the population. Ha. And even Hartnett needs his supporters because he always looks like he might cry if something doesn't go his way.

  18. kmwthay Says:
  19. Ugh. Dane Cook. I think I just threw up in my mouth a litte.

    And what IS with the horror movie remake phenom? Haw many frickin Firday the 13th crap movies does the world need?

    And blame Bob Dole for the ED adds. He started it all, back in the day.

  20. What's wrong with soft mattresses?? Anyway, I hope for the love of God I never ever am in a situation where things are getting hot and heavy with me and someone else and he drops his pants and there he stands with tighty-whitey's!!

  21. Miss Ash Says:
  22. I was going to ask at what point in your life did you have long hair? Ha!!

    WV: poophant

  23. Kmwthay - I'm right there with you on Cook, but I think he's at the end of his run. I think. And yes, it was the huge success of the recent Friday the 13th movie that caused that one to be listed - give me a break on that remake genre.

    Trinabeingtrina - I hope you never have to experience that horror . . . talk about a mood-killer, eh? Ha. As for mattresses, I just like to sleep on a hard/firm because I'm a side-sleeper & they seem to work better than the ones you sink down into.

    Miss Ash - Never. I tried once in 9th or 10th grade to grow an ill-conceived pony-tail, but my hair is just really thick & won't grow long, which is probably for the best.

  24. Big Shamu Says:
  25. I'm gonna fight you on foie gras and Deleware.

  26. Big Shamu - A confession: I've never eat foie gras & never been to Delaware. Let's keep that between us, eh? Ha.

  27. Blogger Says:
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