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Cathartic Rumblings . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Wednesday, February 04, 2009

I was supposed to meet the movie guy today at Whole Foods for lunch. The past tense was used because he seems to be flaking out after calling me this past Friday and suggesting the meeting time.

This kind of behavior pisses me off to no end. I have never had any use for flakes, buffoons, blowhards, communists, back-slappers, jerk-offs or pederasts, and with each passing year, my tolerance decreases exponentially.

I'm also moving past the point of no return with the movie guy because he's contributed absolutely nothing to our script with the exception of insisting on giving one character a stutter that is unequivocally NOT funny. I made that concession in hopes that he could get our script read by someone with enough juice to start things moving, a belief buoyed by his own claims as well as his resume - which is legitimate - as he has done special effects work for a number of big Hollywood movies as well as directing his own low-budget comedy.

So far, he has managed to get our script into the hands of the brother of a faded former "Saturday Night Live" star (supposedly). Since my own brother and I are coming from nowhere with even fewer connections, I would accept that, however, the 'SNL' brother received the script in November and we've yet to hear any kind of feedback.

My problem is that they movie guy is either too weak or too lazy to follow up, and apply some gentle pressure along the lines of "Hey, I can't wait to hear your feedback about the script." I had planned to tell him at lunch that if he refused or was unable to do that, then give me the contact information and I will follow up myself.

2009 seems like a fine year to push for this script to land somewhere as comedies can be made cheaply, and escapism from the ugly macro-economic environment of the entire world should only make our script more appealing. I mean who wouldn't want to trade in worrying about dwindling 401Ks and spend time watching a suburban accountant come apart at the seems after inheriting a Swinger's Sex Club?

I know I would, although I am also inherently biased.

Anyway, we'll see what happens, but that is my goal whenever I do find another time to meet with the movie guy. In the interim, this post was somewhat cathartic and might ensure that I don't simply rip out his larynx when I sit across from him.



  1. JLee Says:
  2. I can see why you're frustrated by this guy. Maybe you need to go with Plan B? Or ask if he minds you shopping around other production facilities? Maybe that will get him off his ass. That picture of the old man cracks me up...

  3. Heff Says:
  4. Jesus, by the time you guys get this script pushed through, the story will be out of date.

  5. Jlee - Probably. As soon as I have a Plan B, then we'll be in business. Ha. Connections is what I need to at least get the damn thing read, and that's what we're trying to figure out right now. I like that picture too as I hope be him one day.

    Heff - My thoughts exactly. Or someone will beat us to it which is the same difference I guess.

  6. Boxer Says:
  7. Flakey, thy name is Hollywood. Stay focused. If you truly believe in the product, something good will happen.

  8. Boxer Says:
  9. p.s. take out the stuttering. you're right. It's your script.

  10. The more you talk about this movie, the more I wanna see it. And if goes on any longer, Chris Klein will be too old to play the lead. That's right. I would like to see Chris Klein play this accountant guy. Don't know why. I just do. Maybe you mentioned it somewhere it stuck in mind subliminally, or maybe I'm just weird and have a little mancrush on Chris Klein. And so what if I do!

  11. nobich Says:
  12. stuttering is NOT funny. maybe a slight lisp but no not even that. name one funny stutterer!! Ha!! there's no one!!

  13. Boxer - So true on all counts . . . And I will try to stay positive & simply grind & work as that's the only way I know how to do much of anything. Ha.

    WhatIgot - I'm glad it still appeals to you because I'm starting to get sick of it. Ha. Actually, just the process of trying to get anyone to pay attention, not the actual script itself. I don't think I mentioned Chris Klein, but he would be getting close to old enough to play the lead with how slowly things have been moving. The guy is in his mid to late 30s (think Klein is early 30s?)

    Nobich - Exactly. I cannot. It's just stupid & doesn't make me laugh one single bit. We tried to take out as much as possible when he wasn't looking. It wasn't enough . . .

  14. BostonPobble Says:
  15. It is indeed difficult to get another meeting once you are known as the larynx-ripping dude from Texas. Which is kind of a shame because one would think that rep could work in your favor. Just don't, under any circumstance, meet him in a bathroom.

  16. Miss Ash Says:
  17. I think it would be wise to try and find someone else with connections....clearly this guy is a tool! ( I haven't used the word tool in that sense in years, how fun!)

  18. Bostonpobble - But that would be kind of cool reputation . . . kind of. Ha. It wouldn't be productive as far as setting future meetings, however, sometimes cool counts for a lot. And I am desperately trying not to meet ANYONE in the bathroom these days.

    Miss Ash - Tool is a solid word for putting someone down, especially guys. I would tend to agree with your assesment of this situation, so it is back to the drawing board, and this time, no tools. Ha.

  19. Romany Angel Says:
  20. Sorry to hear that you're being stuffed around by this guy. He'll be chewing his own ass when someone else steps up and gets the job done and you're up on the podium collecting your first Oscar....oh sorry I got a bit carried away....but it could happen :)

    I for one would love to see more comedy at the theatre and for you I would actually even go to the theatre to watch it.

    Good Luck and don't give up.

  21. Mr. DNA Says:
  22. Welcome to Hollywood.

    Dude, umm.

    I'm not sure how to write this all down in a comment.

    Drop me a line and I'll give you my take, if you want to hear it.

    take care m'man

  23. Romany Angel - It's good to see you back around, and thanks for the good words. This script wouldn't get near the Oscars, however, I find it amusing in parts. Ha. But I do try to stay optimistic with these things (realistic too), so thanks for the good luck & if this thing ever gets made, then I'll count on your attendance. Ha.

    Mr. DNA - I know. I know. Ha. Generally, I've been fairly patient, tried to go in with eyes wide open, insert cliché here, but sometimes the frustration bubbles over . . . I appreciate the offer to drop you a line, so I will definitely take you up on it. Thanks.

  24. I don't know, maybe it's just me but I personally think that ripping out his larynx could possibly get his attention. I think you should go for it.


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