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Quick Hit Black Friday . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Friday, November 28, 2008

"Look, fuckstick, I'm incredibly busy. So why don't you get the hell out of here before I snap your dick off and jam it into your ass . . . " - Tom Cruise, "Tropic Thunder"

Cruise was easily the funniest part of 'Thunder' as he certainly brought a wickedly hilarious edge to his studio executive character. To keep a smile on my face today, I plan to avoid any shopping meccas on Black Friday and instead focus my energies on the tough stories of the week such as:

Michael Jackson reached an out-of-court settlement this week with a Bahraini sheik who says the singer owes him $7 million after breaching a signed contract.

"As Mr. Jackson was about to board his plane to London, he was advised by his legal team to postpone his travels since the parties had concluded a settlement in principle," a source said. "Therefore, he will not be attending court on Monday."

It was reported, but not confirmed that Jackson gave the Sheik three of his fake noses, a signed picture of Macaulay Culkin, and 27 high-pitched shrieks as part of the settlement.

Nicollette Sheridan and David Spade were spotted this week at L.A.'s Luau where Sheridan celebrated her 45th birthday by "full-on making out" with Spade," People reported.

Though Sheridan and Spade arrived separately and started dinner in different booths, they couldn't resist each other for long, eventually holing themselves up in a single booth. "They cuddled and kissed," an eyewitness says.

Personally, that sounds like a terrible birthday celebration, however, let's just hope that David has been 'Spade' or neutered. Ouch.

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag of "The Hills" fame are now husband and wife. Us Weekly is reporting that the reality show stars said "I do" in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico on November 20.

"The minute we said our vows, I couldn't stop crying," Heidi tells the mag.

I can sympathize with the emotional Montag as I would also weep big crocodile tears if I just married a raging jackass.

Axl Rose has accused Dr Pepper of failing to honour a pledge to give a free drink to all Americans if Guns N' Roses released a new album in 2008.

The drinks company made the promise after a number of release dates for the band's Chinese Democracy album - finally released this week - passed. In a letter to Dr Pepper, Rose's lawyer Alan Gutman wrote: "The redemption scheme your company clumsily implemented for this offer was an unmitigated disaster which defrauded consumers and, in the eyes of vocal fans, ruined the day of Chinese Democracy's release."

Obviously, Axl Rose has been gone from rock n roll too long if he believes that there's anything cool about starting a feud with a soft drink company upon your return.

The news is a little light this week, but I've been traveling and too stuffed with turkey to get much accomplished. That being said, let's end with a gold image (s) as always:

It's a little cold to go swimming, however, sometimes when you make a mess in the kitchen while cooking, then you must immerse yourself in whatever water source is available.

So, I hope everyone had a hell of a good holiday, don't be scared to cook or swim naked and . . . Happy Friday!



  1. A.B. Says:
  2. Happy Black Friday! I so loved that movie AND Tom Cruise. It made me laugh just reading the quote.

    "Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag" Who are these people and why do we care? And what IS it about David Spade that gets him the Cougars? First Heather Locklear and now Sheridan.

    I'm avoiding the stores and watching movies today - have a great Holiday Weekend!

  3. Suddenly I feel like baking. And Swimming.

    Michael Jackson officially looks like he belongs on Planet of the Apes. Maybe the beard needs to grow just a little bit more first though.

    And I loved Tom Cruise in that movie. It almost made up for all the Scientology and couch jumping weirdness. Almost.

  4. TROLL Says:
  5. That second pic was so stupid the chick's fantastic body couldn't save it.

    Hope you're doing a Shield Series Retrospective rather than a focused review of just the Finale.

  6. This year, I was thankful for boobies. Boobies like the ones I routinely see on your website. You should be very proud.

  7. grace Says:
  8. I've never seen Tropic Thunder, but I'm officially interested in renting it now.

    Am I the only person who thinks that David Spade is really odd looking? I'm sorry, but making out with him seems like a horrible way to spend a completely regular day... much less a birthday.

    Anyways, Happy Thanksgiving to you!

  9. Heff Says:
  10. Several People are telling me I've GOT to see Tropic Thunder. I guess it's time. As far as Chinese Democracy, it's better than I thought it would be, but certainly not great. Appetite For Destruction was the best Axl's ever gonna do. I knew there'd be an ordeal with Dr. Pepper. Axl Rose is a motherfucker, which is why for years, I've referred to him as "Asshole Rose".

  11. Romany Angel Says:
  12. I loved this QHF and my new favourite word is now officially fuckstick.

    Tom Cruise almost makes me feel physically ill but after reading that quote and your positive feedback maybe I will have to get stoned or something and watch the movie. What? You expected me to watch Cruise straight? Not gonna happen I'm afraid.

    Speaking of making me physically ill....Michael Jackson...double UGH.

    I would actually like to meet David Spade in person if only to find out if he gives off some sort of weird pheromone vibe. How in the hell does he get all these gorgeous chicks, although I'm not including Nicolette in this instance because she has always reminded me of a transvestite.

    Finally, I'm really fascinated by that underwater pic and have decided that all future topless pics of me will be taken underwater. It definitely seems to add lift to all the right places and it looks like lightning has struck if you look very carefully.

    Crikey...I really waffled on this morning didn't I? Have a great weekend B and hope your Thanksgiving was great.

  13. JLee Says:
  14. Great quote..he was hysterical in that. I can go on now knowing that Spencer and Heidi are happily hitched. Sense any sarcasm there?
    I did not cook naked but seem to remember being drunk and eating a bowl of cereal naked or something like that. ha
    Happy Black Friday and I actually shopped and it wasn't too bad!

  15. vivavavoom Says:
  16. david spade must have a very big....happy thanksgiving!

  17. cats Says:
  18. just watched tropic thunder last night. hubby and i laughed our asses off.

  19. Linda Says:
  20. Tom Cruise played one of the funniest characters ever in Tropic Thunder. I think Heidi and Spencer were crying after thier vows because they realized that they had wasted a perfectly good trip to Cabo by getting married. I also want to meet David Spade, to see what his secret is. Dude must have something that cannot be photographed to be getting the make out action he does. Hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving!

  21. A.B. - Happy Belated Black Friday back at you. I know what you mean about the quote as the hardest part was picking which one to use. Ha. And as for Spade, I wish I knew his secret. It's semi-amazing.

    Native Minnow - Bake, then swim. At least that's my recommendation. I think. I thought that the beard looked bizarre on Jackson, but then again, he looks so damn strange it's like splitting hairs. And I agree 100% on your take on Cruise. Close, but not quite for him . . .

    TheTroll - You can't be that smart & dump cooking ingredients all over yourself I guess. Then again, these things do happen. And I just got back in town to find a mess of a place & in-laws & other matters, so it will probably be a few days before I can even watch the finale (and I plan to reference the series in equal parts to the finale).

    WhatIgot - I'm thankful for that every single year. Sometimes I'm proud. Ha.

    Grace - Happy Thanksgiving and you should definitely rent 'Thunder' as it's out on DVD now. As for Spade, he's defnitely an odd-looking guy yet he gets a lot of amazing women. I have no idea how this happens.

    Heff - I agree about 'Democracy' as there's some solid to good stuff in there, but it's a far cry from 'Appetite.' I need to listen to the new disc a few more times before I get a better opinion on it. And go rent 'Thunder' as I think you'd get more than a few laughs.

    RomanyANgel - I appreciate the detail . .. thanks for the Thanksgiving wishes, I love the word 'fuckstick,' underwater pics definitely look good (although the proportions sometimes get out of whack), 'THunder' would be best watched while stoned, Jackson is flat-out ridiculous as a human being and your Spade comment made me laugh. Please report back if you do indeed meet him in person.

    Jlee - I'm glad you made it through a little shopping as maybe it wasn't so bad this year with the economy. And I find nothing wrong with eating cereal drunk & naked as it happens to the best of us & sometimes involves pouring milk on yourself like the woman in the picture. Ha.

    Vivavavoom - . .. Drumstick? Ha. Happy Thanksgiving to you. Hope you enjoyed it.

    Cats - I'm glad you both enjoyed it as it has consistent laughs from nearly everyone involved, and Cruise stole the show in my opinion.

    Linda - Hope your Thanksgiving was filled with food & movies as mine only had the former. And I was hoping you might have met Spade in some capacity and that you could shed some light on his charm. Please keep an eye out for him in the future as first-hand research is definitely needed.

  22. Miss Ash Says:
  23. Cooking while naked = a very bold move! Hot oil anyone??

  24. Miss Ash - Hot oil & naked skin is a terrible combination. That being said, sometimes bravery is to be commended. Ha.


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