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Pick Your Poison . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Wednesday, November 05, 2008

I was having people over to watch the election coverage last night, and I needed booze.

Typically, I stock beer and red wine at my loft to drink myself as hard liquor is usually reserved for going downtown. But to me, election night demanded the hard stuff as beer and wine were far too tame for what was at stake. It proved to be a fine idea as it was comforting to listen to the talking heads pontificate with a drink mixed inside a squat, sturdy glass that burned going down.

Different occasions call for different intoxicants, and so with that in mind, I wrote a short list of activities and their corresponding pollutant during one of the innumerable dead stretches where bizarre holograms appeared on my television last night.

Election Coverage: Hard Liquor and Champagne
Super Bowl: Beer
Las Vegas: Ecstasy

Dinner party: Wine, Irish coffee
Sweat Lodge in the desert: Peyote
New Years Eve: Champagne
Summer party: Margaritas and Sangria (not too sweet)

Winter party: Stout beers and Whiskey
Party where you know nobody: Cocaine
Judd Apatow movie: Dope

Bachelor Party: Good Tequila
Prison: Glue

I'm not sure what is appropriate for taking a break to blog at work, however, I think I'll go slug some coffee and push through the afternoon.



  1. I went to a Halloween party with a girl I'd only hung out with twice prior. I knew exactly one person other than her there. I thought something was missing, now I know what it was: C-c-c-c-c-cocaine!

  2. Then everybody would have been insanely interesting except they all would have paled in comparison to your own amazing thoughts until you can't sleep and forget about everything uttered the previous night. Or so I've heard. ha.

  3. Heff Says:
  4. I'll be drinking beer TONIGHT. Yes, on a Gott-Damned Wednesday. *$@#&^(#&^**! !!!

  5. BostonPobble Says:
  6. I think coffee is probably the most appropriate stimulant for a blogging break at the office. The holograms were weird, weren't they?

  7. A.B. Says:
  8. I have to admit, I had a glass of wine last night (red.) I rarely drink on work nights, but I had a Mister who needed to be consoled and I was doing a little celebrating. I like your list, but mine is much more simple; VODKA. It goes with everything.

    BTW... you got a cell phone camera? Take a picture and send it!

  9. Heff - Great. Then you can find something new to drink (beer) and use it for a future Heff review post. Works for everyone, eh?

    Bostonpobble - Definitely odd and a little creepy. Ha. And I love coffee - it's probably the one vice I could never give up.

    A.B. - Good idea on the phone. I will do it tomorrow & send it over if you email me a number to send it to and I can figure out how to send them (taken cell phone pics, but never sent them before). I agree about work drinking, but I think last night was a smart exception.

  10. Anonymous Says:
  11. Wife/GF on Vacation Party = anything as long as it's drank from a hooker's ass crack.

  12. Gypsy Says:
  13. I only drink champers or white wine but then I do live on the door step of the Barossa Valley where many Australian wines are made and it would be almost sacreligious not to. I must admit there's a few poisons on that list I haven't tried but I guess it's never too late is it?

    So were you celebrating or being consoled with the result?

  14. JLee Says:
  15. I wish I was drinking last night, but stuck to Diet Dr. Pepper.
    That hologram thing was cracking us up and we kept saying "Help me Obie Wan Kenobi" lol

  16. WhatIGot - You are a brave man to drink/lick anything from a hooker's ass-crack (unless maybe she was an extremely high-end call girl). Ha. Maybe I"m missing out, eh?

    Gypsy - Lucky you as I drink some Aussie wines, however, I'm not extremely versed in the region. That would be pretty cool. And I can't say I recommend trying all those substances as they vary in both price and reasonable behavior. Ha. Finally, I was extremely glad about the results.

    Jlee - I was thinking about 'Stars Wars' too. Ha. It probably made you feel much better about your own graphics, eh? That was some needed hilarity during the night.

  17. Linda Says:
  18. I'm printing this list to post on my fridge for future reference, thanks! For me, it was one vodka tonic and off to bed last night (couldn't deal w/ the stress) My daughter and her beau popped the bubbly around 10. I was pretty psyched to see how many folks hit the polls. Really makes you feel like the people have spoken. An exciting campaign and election.

  19. Miss Ash Says:
  20. That's quite the list....and the Peyote was a good touch!!

    I once tried some type of Mescal/mescaline drink it tasted like dirty band aids! Not sure which ocassion it would be approprate for.....

  21. TROLL Says:
  22. I hope you're kidding about the illegal stuff. I've yet to taste a bad Aussie wine. Tell em to keep up the good work, Gypsy!

  23. Linda - Agreed all the way around with that, and strangely enough, I was drinking vodka tonics last night with big chunks of lime. It was great.

    Miss Ash - Interesting. I've wondered about mescaline, but your band-aid description doesn't make it sound appealing. Ha. Great image.

    TheTroll - Everything around here is slightly tongue-in-cheek. As for the wine, I generally like that region as well, however, I've occassionally (sp?) gotten a bottle where they seem to have taken that huge fruit smell a bit over-the-top. Small issue.

  24. A.B. Says:
  25. thanks for wanting to try, send to:

    Good luck!

  26. A.B. - I'm going to need it . . .have the pics on my cell, however, can't figure out how to email them. I'll work on it today.

  27. First of all i agree with a.b....VODKA, in my book goes with EVERYTHING....Except Prison where glue is the most appropriate thing. Hahahahaha

  28. Trinabeingtrina - I agree about Vodka as well as it goes well with just about anything & I have some in the fridge right now. Too bad I'm at work. ha.


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