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Bathing With The Drunken Viking . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Wednesday, November 19, 2008

{This is the 23rd entry in a recurring series that will only happen when I have consumed far too many spirits with my brother. Last night, we broke out the first batch of this year's Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale which triggered strange thoughts, candid insights and pure horseshit. Selah.}



* Always project authority on every subject except the weather.


* Volvos are undoubtedly one of the safest cars on the road, however, the people who drive them are always the slowest vehicles on the freeway.

* Cranberry sauce always looks far better than it tastes


* Never wear underwear at a strip club or on Thanksgiving day for entirely different reasons.

* Pot-luck lunches at work are the perfect time to pursue stealth reconnaissance missions to check and make sure you are not being underpaid

* You can learn a lot about other people and yourself by digging through their trash

* Even though it results in bills and junk mail, it's always an exciting experience checking the mailbox in hopes that it contains unexpected good news

* Always have sex at a holiday party in the host's bathroom because you're surrounded by clean-up options.


* "Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy," Frank Sinatra

-BDS

18 comments

  1. Hope your hangover doesn't last all day. Happy thanksgiving.

     
  2. Heff Says:
  3. Good Ol' Frank. I gots to agree with him.

     
  4. Getoffmylawn - Thanks and it's pretty manageable as nobody should drink that much on a Tuesday. ha.

    Heff - He was a wise man.

     
  5. I disagree with the location of the holiday party sex-romp. I am a firm believer that if you're going to have sex at a party, it should be in a more obvious place, like right on the dinner table. Huck that centre piece into the fire and screw right in front of everybody.

     
  6. nobich Says:
  7. and why not wear underwear on Thanksgiving??

     
  8. WhatIgot - If you can pull that off, then you are a braver man than I am. If so, bravo as that would take some skill.

    Nobicih - It's easier/quicker to go the bathroom and then come back and eat more. Every little bit counts . . .

     
  9. TROLL Says:
  10. Is that last pic "Art" or an actual rest-room somewhere incredibly tacky?

     
  11. A.B. Says:
  12. I made some cranberry sauce this weekend... nobody wanted it and YET.... if it wasn't on the table everyone would have asked where it was.

    I can now see that IS you in the tub.

     
  13. Romany Angel Says:
  14. I don't think I even want to know what you used as the search for that last pic.

     
  15. TheTroll - Good question. I'll try to research that as it simply came up in a Google search engine. I bet it's an actual bathroom somewhere in the world.

    A.B. - I hate to say I told you so, but . . . And that is the secret to cranberry sauce - it is never eaten, nobody wants the leftovers and yet you always look for it. You nailed it. Ha.

    Romany ANgel - I think the search was under "bathroom sex" or "sexy bathroom." Probably the latter.

     
  16. grace Says:
  17. I don't like cranberry anything... unless there's vodka mixed in somehow.

     
  18. slopmaster Says:
  19. it is a loser thing to profess knowledge over the weather... DAMN it. I took meteorology in college! there goes that.

    I never underwear. anywhere.

    slop

     
  20. I've seen pics of that bathroom before - so it must be real, right?

     
  21. Grace - That works for me as I think drinking cranberry - especially for women - is a reasonable solution. The color is a little off-putting for me to drink it. ha.

    Slopmaster - That's a fine policy for warm weather climates like TX & Africa. No harm there . . . and I think meterologists have the best gig in the world because they can be wrong at their main job occupation quite often and yet they still remain employed.

    Native Minnow - I have to assume so, and I'd like to actually enter it one day. That looks really bad onscreen & in relation to this story.

     
  22. JLee Says:
  23. I am one of those weird people who actually likes cranberry sauce, so often people scrape theirs onto my plate. ha

     
  24. Miss Ash Says:
  25. Now that you've explained the no undie rule on Thanksgiving....then why must I ask do you not wear it at the strip joint HA!

     
  26. Jlee - I knew somebody had to like the stuff as I always want to enjoy it more than I do (which is not very much at all.Ha.)

    Miss Ash - I think this should be self-explanatory. Ha. It's also the reason you wear linen pants to a strip club if at all possible. It's a science thing, which I don't entirely understand, but believe to be accurate.

     
  27. Blogger Says:
  28. I have just installed iStripper, and now I can watch the hottest virtual strippers on my taskbar.

     

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