"Now I know I'm pretty, but I ain't as pretty as a couple of titties," - Gary Oldman, "True Romance" 
I spent my week trying to recover from this past weekend and avoiding O.J. Simpson coverage, and although I was only somewhat successful on both fronts, I am looking forward to a relaxing few days that can start as soon as I wade through the tough stories like:
Britney Spears has been ordered to undergo random drug and alcohol testing twice a week, according to court documents in her custody dispute with ex-husband Kevin Federline.
The order was issued Monday by a judge who required both parents to refrain from drinking and using drugs around their two young children and 12 hours before either cares for them. Only Spears was ordered to submit to testing.
Spears responded with "then I just won't care for them at all" and left to go club-hopping.
Madonna toasted the Jewish new year with Israeli President Shimon Peres and declared herself an "ambassador for Judaism," local newspapers reported Sunday. The singer, who is not Jewish, arrived in Israel Wednesday on the eve of Jewish new year to attend a conference on Kabbalah.
Peres later clarified that Madonna is only the ambassador inside of her own head.
An animal rights group says Alicia Silverstone appears naked in a television ad promoting vegetarianism that was to debut Wednesday in Houston. The 30-second ad was to air about two dozen times in Houston on Wednesday, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals said.
Most people attempt a comeback by posing naked for "Playboy," but then again, Silverstone shot to fame by being "Clueless."
In Touch Weekly claims that Jennifer Lopez is pregnant with her first child, and due to give birth in the spring, according to an insider.
If this is true, I really hope the child looks like the mother.
Barry Manilow, a long-time friend of Rosie O'Donnell, backed out of his scheduled appearance on "The View" after the show refused to pull Elisabeth Hasselbeck from the interview. 
Producers were very angry as they were hoping that Manilow's extreme masculinity and machismo would add some testosterone to the show.
Kanye West won in a landslide in his face-off with fellow rapper 50 Cent as West's Graduation outsold his rival's Curtis, 957,000 to 691,000 in the first week of release, according to Nielsen SoundScan figures.
Meanwhile, I continue not to care about this contrived event with absolutely no legitimate stakes or resolution.
Chris Crocker, who posted on MySpace.com a passionate defense of the pop singer after her performance on MTV's Video Music Awards, has been signed to a development deal with 44 Blue Productions, Variety reports.
I saw this clip, and although it was unintentionally funny, I find his continued public presence moving forward to be a total 'Crock' of shit.
But let's end with our usual gold image: 
I'm a fiend for competition, however, I will admit that I do play dirty, so keep a rule book handy, watch your back and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
What the Soundscan figures don't tell you is how many copies have been stolen. 50 Cent has a higher rate of theft historically than Kanye West.
Vegetarians Rock!!!!
PS you're last bit of commentary always cracks me up "I'm a fiend for competition, however, I will admit that I do play dirty, so keep a rule book handy, watch your back and"
AAAHAHAHA. That final pic is your best ever. I gotta steal that for my computer.
great commentary! that last girl is a smart one....my guess is not many can keep their eyes on the ball when she plays. play hard!
WhatIgot - Ha. That's probably going to be the excuse that 50 Cent gives for losing and so he won't retire as promised.
Miss Ash - You're biased for vegans. Ha. But I'm glad you like the commentary as it can be difficult, and I stretch it as far as it will go.
Idig - I just found that one this week somewhere on the Net, so steal away & hopefully it will bring you luck in stock trading.
Vivavavoom - Thanks, and that girl could be on my team anyday (however I think I would prefer to play against her). Play hard indeed. Ha.
Somehow I knew that Chris Crocker weirdo was gonna get some deal from all of this nonsense. Did you see Seth Green's impersonation on "The Soup" of that guy? Hysterical.
When I was a teenager, back in ye olde days, I won Fleetwood Mac's "Rumours" album in a radio station contest. When the package arrived, it was not "Rumours," but "Barry Manilow Live." To this day, I wonder if it was a mistake or a joke.
Jlee - I did see Green's impersonation, and it was funny the first clip (but then they drug it into the ground). Crocker is a one-trick crazy pony.
Wendy - Ha. That sounds like a cruel, cruel joke to me. Obviously, it had lasting impact on you too as you recall the story vividly.
I'm with Miss Ash, Go Vegetarians!
Oh, and Happy Friday and thanks for the limited OJ crap. Appreciated.
I was at the grocery store and saw a photo of J-Lo supposedly pregnant...I was concerned because they had some photo of her belly. I thought, what if she's just gained a few pounds? How embarrassing!
Anonymous Boxer - Another prejudiced vegan, eh? Ha. And no problem on the O.J. as the less the better around here.
Stephanie - That would be pretty damn embarrasing as I never ask if a woman is pregnant unless I KNOW for sure because of that very reason.