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Quick Hit Friday . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Friday, September 07, 2007

"If all the animals along the equator were capable of flattery, then Thanksgiving and Halloween would fall on the same date." - George Clooney, "Ocean's 12"

That was easily the best line in that movie, but it makes me laugh every single time. Laughing is a good thing, and I'm in a good mood since it's been a short work week and before the weekend begins, let's tackle serious news items such as:

In Blonde Ambition: The Untold Story Behind Anna Nicole Smith's Death, a new tell-all tome by former MSNBC talking head Rita Cosby, the author makes a series of potentially reputation-damaging allegations against both Larry Birkhead and onetime paternity challenger Howard K. Stern — allegations against which Birkhead has already threatened legal action.

Per a press release sent by Grand Central Publishing, "eyewitnesses say they {Birkhead & Stern} were caught in a compromising position." The position in question was allegedly one that involved oral sex.

Just reading that statement and allegation is a severe compromise for my eyes, which I plan to wash out with bleach if any pictures ever arise.

Brad Pitt and his partner Angelina Jolie are ready for another child, the actor said Sunday as he was promoting film as Jesse James at the Venice Film Festival.

Pitt and Jolie already have four children including a 15-month-old girl, Shiloh, born to the couple. Jolie has also adopted three children close in age from Cambodia, Ethiopia and Vietnam.

I admire Pitt/Jolie for their efforts, but Pitt must be half-crazy because if I was living with Jolie, I wouldn't want any additional kids around to make her tired and cut down on "adult time" in the bedroom.

Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams have reportedly split up after three years together.

A People magazine source said: "It was rocky for awhile. They did what they could to make it work", adding that the split was amicable.

Williams is reportedly moving back to New York while Ledger was last seen in the vicinity of "Brokeback Mountain" yelling something about being "able to quit you bitch."

While Jerry Lewis raised millions of dollars during his annual Labor Day telethon, he also caused a bit of controversy after he introduced an unseen family member with a description of "the illiterate faggot."

I bet Lewis wishes the person in question was both deaf and illiterate after tossing off that asinine statement.

Police arrested Jude Law for allegedly attacking a photographer outside his London home, British media reported Wednesday after the 34-year-old actor allegedly tried to grab the photographer's camera during the incident.

I guess Jude found out that nobody was above the Law this week. Ouch. Horrible pun.

Moving on, Halle Berry revealed she is expecting her first child with partner Gabriel Aubry, a male model, this week.

"Gabriel and I are beyond excited and I've waited a long time for this moment in my life," she said.

I feel sorry for that poor kid because with Berry and a male model for his gene pool, that child is going to be one ugly bastard.

Tobey Maguire married his baby mama, Jennifer Meyer, in a secret ceremony in Hawaii this week as the parents of 9-month-old Ruby Sweetheart, were reportedly hitched in a sunset ceremony on Maui.

This story is so boring, I'm not really sure why I even mentioned it.

Luciano Pavarotti, whose vibrant high C's and ebullient showmanship made him the most beloved and celebrated tenor since Caruso and one of the few opera singers to win crossover fame as a popular superstar, died Thursday. He was 71.

I am not a big opera fan, but Pavarotti always seemed like he would be a fun guy to share a bowl of pasta and some red wine with and it's too bad that he's gone.

A California judge on Wednesday formally ordered the former husband of Jennifer Lopez to pay the singer-actress $545,000 for trying to publish a tell-all book about their relationship.

The ruling affirmed an earlier arbitrator's decision in the case, which included awarding Lopez a permanent injunction barring her ex-spouse, Ojani Noa, from disclosing information about their relationship for personal gain.

Now that Lopez is getting her money, she can send me the $9 she owes me from subjecting the world to "Gigli."

Since I'm in a good mood, let's end with a gold image like:

I'm no masochist, however, sometimes euphoria leads to perversion and a little discipline is needed. So, with that in mind, rule with an iron fist today, keep your nose to the grindstone and . . . Happy Friday!



  1. Peace out Luciano! and have a great weekend.

  2. I don't understand why that guy can't use his marriage and divorce from Jennifer Lopez for financial gain. That's the only reason he married her in the first place.

  3. Anonymous Boxer - Nice shout-out, and have a good weekend yourself.

    WhatIgot - I agree. I'm not sure about the specifics of the case, but it seems like he has a right to write whatever he wants - as long as it's verifiable.

  4. Tiara Girl Says:
  5. "Chapter One - JLo Has A Big Ass". Damn, I hate that will never see the light of day...the BOOK, I mean...

    And for the Record, Larry Birkhead just seems like the type that would take it up the arse.

  6. JLee Says:
  7. Believe me, I already heard all the bad Jude Law puns yesterday at work. ha
    I was sad to hear about Pavarotti, since my mom was a fan and used to listen to his music when I was young. He's eating out of that big pasta bowl in the sky...
    Happy Friday!

  8. birkhead and stern are really lovers who conspired to kill anna nicole for the inheritance. After her murder, they pretended to feud to cover up their love affair and crime.

    that would totally trip me out if the above were true.

  9. Tiara Girl - As long as there were many, many pictures included, I might check that book out at the library. Birkhead is just a putz.

    Jlee - I like the 'big pasta bowl in the sky' line. It is too bad as that guy seemed to really enjoy life. And really, there are no bad puns in my book. Ha.

    Idig - I agree completely, and I really hope that it isn't true for a multitude of reasons.

  10. Wendy Says:
  11. HAH! I'm not a J-Lo fan, but good for her, getting money out of her ex for trying to write a tell-all. I'm a real writer, but you don't see me writing a book about my long-term affair with sexy international film star (name withheld on the advice of my attorney).

  12. Miss Ash Says:
  13. I hate the name of their baby "matilda" ughh.

    I'd like to grab at something on Judes' body bammchicka bam bam

  14. Wendy - Smart move not going for the easy cash-in for the book, which J Lo's ex has proved can actually be quite costly. It's obvious you have discretion & a good attorney.

    Miss Ash - That is a poor name as it sounds like an old woman's name to me. I refuse to comment on your salacious propositioning of Jude Law. Let's have some class, eh? Ha.

  15. vivavavoom Says:
  16. 'Nessum Dorma' is one of the most beautiful opera songs ever and Pavarotti was the master of it. RIP.
    I could totally see Anna Nicole bait howard stern and larry birkhead into some bicurious action. did you ever see her reality show. there wasn't much she didn't do or ask to do. but who cares....all that matters is the baby is okay and well cared for.
    Where is the news about Ms. Spears opening the VMA. It is like a car wreck...I want to look away but will have to watch. she is apparently doing some magic show thing with that weird looking criss angel so maybe that means she isn't even going to show up, just have look-a-likes that may actually sing.

    and I am sure that last girl in the pic has also 'taken it in the arse' tiara girl...get over it

    have a great weekend!

  17. You'll probablty have to get your nine bucks from writer/director Martin Brest. He had to be more responsible than J-lo... do I have to keep calling her that?

  18. Vivavavoom - You have a great weekend too. And you are right about Spears as I should have included that one which will either be a boost to possibly give her a career again or the final nail in the coffin (I've heard the Angel mirror thing is actually false. We'll see).

    Getoffmylawn - I call her that because I'm lazy, not for street cred. Ha. And Martin Brest should have known better (so should I, but I knew what I was getting into and still couldn't stomach it).


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