"Sully - you know when I said I would kill you last . . . I lied." - Arnold Schwarzenegger, 'Commando' 
I watched 'Commando' this past week, and although it had been more than a decade since I last saw it, it holds up pretty damn well as an example of crazed '80s action flicks. And Arnold kills like 100 people at the end of the thing, amassing a truly staggering body count while stripping off his shirt for no apparent reason except to call attention to his pecs. Selah.
Anyway, I don't plan to go postal today, and instead, am just happy to put another week behind me. My parents are visiting over the weekend on a combined Mother's Day/Dad's Birthday celebration, but tonight, I am hosting a 'Tombstone' on Blu Ray night at the loft compelete with whiskey, Coor's yellow-bellies and steak fajitas, hold the tuberculosis.
Before I can escape to that utopia, however, let's look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Halle Berry broke it off with the father of her child, model Gabriel Aubry, and the actress confirmed the split this week.
"She kicked him out months ago because he wasn't able to pull his weight in the relationship and she wanted to move on," a source close to Berry and Aubry tells PEOPLE. 
Meanwhile, Berry's career is still trying to move on from her "Catwoman" debacle, and to this point, has had only limited success.
Roman Polanski spoke to the media this week for the first time since his arrest, and said prosecutors only want to serve him "on a platter to the media."
Swiss authorities are trying to decide whether to extradite Polanski to Los Angeles for the 1977 statutory rape of a 13-year-old girl. Polanski, who is under house arrest in his Alpine Swiss chalet, talked with an online magazine run by French philosopher Bernard-Henri Levy.
"I have had my share of dramas and joys, as we all have, and I am not going to try to ask you to pity my lot in life," he wrote, noting he had to mortgage his home to cover the $4.5 million bail. "I ask only to be treated fairly like anyone else."
Well, most "everyone else" doesn't get to be convicted of rape and then live out their sentence at a Swiss chalet, Roman, so maybe you should consider yourself lucky . . .
Lindsay Lohan was confirmed this week as the lead role in an independent movie about 1970s porn star Linda Lovelace.
Lohan will play Lovelace, who starred in 1972 porno movie "Deep Throat."
"I would say it's probably one of the most challenging roles any actor could play — and not because of the sexual content, necessarily — but more because she was so battered and beat up emotionally, that I think it's gonna take everything Lindsay has to really be able to pull it off," the producer told the Times.
"Lindsay will have far less problems pulling off her clothes," he later added with smirk.
David Boreanaz, the star of the TV show 'Bones' and previously 'Angel', was forced to confess to cheating on his wife, Jaime Bergman, this week after his mistress threatened to go public.
‘I was associated with a woman who I was involved with and had a relationship with. She asked for money. I felt as though I was being blackmailed or there was some sort of extortion’ Boreanz told People magazine.
According TMZ.com, the mistress demanded six figures to stay silent.
His wife will demand a lot more in a divorce settlement, and the 'Bone' jokes will be flying fast and furious in the courtroom.
Reps for Charlie Sheen and wife Brooke Mueller denied divorce rumors this week, but admitted that the pair are having marital issues.
"Please let us clarify this: They are not seeking a divorce nor has one been contemplated," according to a joint statement released Monday by Mueller’s attorney, Yale Galanter, and Sheen’s longtime friend and Two and a Half Men executive producer, Mark Burg. 
The only reason divorce hasn't been "contemplated" is because neither Sheen nor Mueller know the definition of that word.
Bret Michaels was released from a Phoenix hospital and is expected to make a full recovery after suffering a brain hemorrhage last month, his doctor said Tuesday.
Dr. Joseph Zabramski said: "This produces a great deal of stress on the body," he said. "This is like being involved in an accident from inside."
But the Dr. also said that when Michaels was first admitted to the hospital that he thought to himself Look What the Cat Dragged In, but now Michaels has "given me Something to Believe In."
Kim Kardashian began receiving death threats this week from fans of pop star Justin Bieber after the pair meet at the White House Correspondent's dinner in Washington, D.C.
"Look its my girlfriend," Bieber jokingly wrote after posting a picture of the pair following the event.
But his fans were not happy.
"I'm getting death threats from your fans!" Kardashian, 29, wrote to the singer Tuesday night. "This is unBeliebable!!!"
What is "unBeliebable" to me is this: if Bieber & Kardashian warrant a White House invitation, just who is being excluded from the list?
Former Playboy Playmate and "Girls Next Door" star Kendra Wilkinson was rumored to be trying to stop a sex tape from surfacing this week.
According to RadarOnline.com, Wilkinson's lawyer has reportedly demanded for porn company Vivid Entertainment to "cease and desist" with the release of the video.
"The video is private and highly confidential taken for private use and not for public disclosure," the letter reads. "Any exploitation of the video would be a gross violation of Miss Wilkinson's constitutional and common law rights of privacy."
Kendra couldn't be reached for comment because she was off shooting an all-nude Playboy video - but not a porno dammit.
As always, let's end with a gold image or two:
It's getting hot in Austin (92 degrees), so a little lounging in lingerie seems appropriate, although not for me personally. But do whatever floats your boat today, peel off a few layers and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
I don't know who this Justin Bieber guy is, but why is he posing with one of those Joker models from the the Tim Burton Batman movie?
And Commando was an awesome movie.
Quick Heff Friday !!!
Coor's Yellowbellies ? Heff must investigate....
Exactly HOW DO YOU "pull your weight" in a relationship with Halle Berry ? Heff MUST KNOW !
Yes - "House Arrest" and "Chalet" REALLY don't go together, do they ?!?
As far as Lohan news goes, I'm THRILLED with this. Not for Lindsay, just for the small possibility she MAY have to take one down the throat, lol !!
Angel can't control his Bone !!!
I'm pretty sure Sheen and Mueller will work out their problems over a few lines of premium grade coke. No worries.
I warned Brett Michaels about wearing that bandana TOO TIGHT !!! His next affliction will probably be a "lip hemorrhage" from pouting his "cock suckers" for EVERY DAMN PICTURE HE'S IN !
Kim Kardashian can hide out at my place. No worries....
Kendra Wilkinson. Hmmmm....I'll betcha it's a gang bang clip. She was always in to the rapper/gang type shit. And WHY IN THE HELL is it ALWAYS "Vivid Video" that gets their hands on this krap ?!?
And in closing, I'M WEARING VICTORIA'S SECRET UNDERGARMENTS RIGHT NOW !!!
Have a wonderbra weekend, BDS !!
Lohan has become such a sad case, and she's actually starting to give me the creeps. Something about that Bieber kid makes me smile. Make fun all you want folks, that kid is laughing all the way to the bank, and seems to handle the insanity well. Not sure what he was doing at the White House, but that's always a strange cast of characters. Have a great weekend in that TX heat and Happy Friday!!
Ugh Okay seriously.....Arnold and commando in the same sentence! All that brings to mind is the clip they showed on TMZ of Mr. S walking around in shorts sans undies......oh my!
As for Kendra....ummm yeah....i'm pretty sure everyone has seen everything....
What is a Coors yellowbelly?
I'm jealous of your weather, it's chilly here and stormy, lighting storms *sniff*
Good movie Tombstone- Have fun & Happy Friday!!!
I've never heard of a yellow belly either..what is this strange brew of which you speak? ha
The other day I was in my car and found myself singing out loud, bopping my head to a Justin Bieber song and then said "what the HELL am I doing!!???" I think he uses subliminal mind control or something of that nature. Evil little boy.
Enjoy your shin dig tonight and weekend!
oh Lindsay. Only you can be court ordered to attend alcohol abuse classes, and immediately go party til 3am. Why can't I stop watching this train wreck?
Who the heck is this Justin Bieber kid? I have just realized that I'm OLD. sadface.
Happy weekend.
WIGSF - I just learned about Bieber this week, but I am a fan of Kardashian even if she looks bad in that pic. And yeah, 'Commando' was pretty damn good. Happy Friday.
HEff - Appreciate the detail as always, so Yellow-bellies is a term my brother and I made up for original Coors - 'the Banquet Beer' - on the infrequent occasions that we'd drink it, sorry, I was wondering the same thing w/ Berry, they don't belong in the same sentence together at all, this is probably a good role for Lohan, I was thinking an Angel is the Devil line or something, you might be spot-on w/ Sheen and Mueller, ha, Michaels does have that pout down in damn never every pic, I'm right there w/ you with offering Kim refuge, I wonder the same thing about Vivid - my guess is they pay the best, and enjoy your lingerie Heff. Happy Friday to you.
Linda - I wish Lohan would just go away and either get her head on straight or disappear even though QHF would suffer. Ha. And I have no idea about Bieber as I just know he's popular & making tons of money . . . Happy Friday Linda.
Miss Ash - I'd send some heat your way if I could as it's a little too hot, too early for me. Anyway, yellowbellies are just what my brother and I call original Coors in the yellow cans & I have never seen that Arnold clip on TMZ, although I'm curious (though not enough to actually go find it, ha). Happy Friday Miss Ash.
Nobich - Great movie & Happy Friday to you.
JLee - Just a nickname for original Coors sadly enough. Ha. Wow. Bieber, eh? Maybe I've heard him too & didn't know it. But he's doing quite well for himself. Happy Friday Jlee.
Kymical Reactions - I felt the same way when I had to figure out just who the hell this Bieber kid was. Ha. Oh well . . . there are worse things I guess. And yeah, I don't really enjoy the Lohan crap, but it is strangely compelling. Happy Friday.
Commando was one of my favorite movies as a kid, and it certainly helped that my first celebrity crush, Alyssa Milano, was in it. You can't beat those bad one-liners form the old movies starring Ah-nold.
I'd like to pull my weight in a relationship with Halle Berry. I don't even care what that means.
And Lindsay Lohan's spiral toward starring in porn continues.
Any word as to whether Brett Michael's brain hemorrhage came from the flames on that cowboy hat?
That certainly is "unbeliebable" that anyone could care enough about Kim Kardashian or Justin Bieber to send in death threats.
I hope you had a good weekend. That Tombstone viewing party seems like a good time. I really, really like that movie.
SOOOOO late, but still I needed a QHF fix.
Happy Monday!
Native Minnow - I appreciate the detail, and right there w/ you on 'Commando' and Milano, I know about that Berry comment, cracked me up, Lohan is on a slippery slope, didn't even think about the flames on the hat, ha, I care somewhat about Kim in my own way, and 'Tombstone' party was great but the whiskey hangover the next day was NOT. Happy Belated Friday.
Boxer - No worries as I can't complain right now as I can barely get up a QHF and get around at the end of the week to read my favorite blogs to catch up. Selah. I'll get back on top one of these days. Happy Friday.