"Not me, I'm in my prime," - Val Kilmer, "Tombstone"
Last week's 'Tombstone' viewing party was an unparalleled success except for the nasty whiskey hangover that occurred the following day. This was largely due to the fact that I had not drank straight whiskey in many years, and I damn sure never poured it down like Kilmer did in that role. But I tried.
Tonight, I will try my hand at bowling with a group of friends, but before I can vacate the office by 5 p.m. or so, let's look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Tyra Banks announced that she signed a three-book deal with Delacorte Press to write a fantasy series for young people.
The first novel - "Modelland" - comes out in the summer of 2011. The plot allegedly concerns a girl trying to keep up with the beauty game at an elite school for supermodels, or Intoxibellas.
The main fantasy involved in this project concerns any readers who delude themselves into thinking that Banks actually wrote any of the material, although I do have a strong suspicion that a majority of characters will be named Tyra or some derivation.
After both citing irreconcilable differnces and filing separate divorce papers last month, Larry King wife, Shawn Southwick King, halted their separation this week.
"We love our children, we love each other, we love being a family. That is all that matters to us," the couple said in a joint statement, according to Reuters. 
And if King stops loving on his wife's sister, then maybe those two crazy kids have a real chance at staying together this time.
Heidi Pratt filed a restraining order against her mom this week after she made a surprise visit to Montag's L.A.-area home.
"My mom [Darlene Egelhoff] just showed up to the house unannounced... and after what she did to me on national TV, I have no desire to see her," Heidi, 23, said to TMZ.com. Montag was referring to her mom's disapproval of her 10 plastic surgeries in one day. 
Meanwhile, Heidi's Mom filed a missing persons report at the police station because she still doesn't recognize her daughter after all the surgeries.
Britney Spears severed professional ties with her boyfriend/agent, Jason Trawick, this week as the pop star decided that business and pleasure don't mix.
Parade Magazine reported the pair will continue dating.
“Since wrapping her recent world tour, Spears has been busy in the studio working on her next album,” a rep tells Parade. “They are very happy. Things are really good with them.”
Upon hearing the news, Kevin Federline ate an entire bag of Cheetos, rubbed his belly and yelled at the television "she'll be back one day."
Singer Katy Perry topped Maxim magazine's Hot 100 list on Monday as she ousted 'House' star Olivia Wilde from the perch.
Perry was deemed by Joe Levy, editor-in-chief of the men's magazine, to be a "triple -- no quadruple -- kind of hot."
Levy continued with, "it's kind of like you took the square root of hotness, and multiplied by itself to the nth degree and then sat on the sun." Levy is also a dunce.
Sean Penn pleaded no contest Wednesday to a misdemeanor charge stemming from an altercation with a photographer last year.
The judge ordered Penn to perform 300 hours of community service and undergo 36 hours of anger management counseling.
The judge also ordered Penn to stop arriving in court in his "I Am Sam" character, and trying to garner sympathy.
Barbara Walters said this week that she will have surgery to replace a faulty heart valve and take the summer off from "The View" to recuperate.
She said she's known about her condition for a while, and decided with her doctors that this is the best time to have the heart surgery done.
"Since the summer is coming up," she said, "I can take a nice vacation."
Walters only requirement for a vacation is somewhere with a spectacular 'View.'
As always, let's end with a gold image or two:
Maybe we all look better slightly upside down and inverted. Maybe. Regardless, enjoy yourself today whatever position you may be in, don't let the blood rush to your head and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
{Editor's Note: I will be catching up on blogs this weekend.}
Quick Heff Friday !
Bowling is ALWAYS a good excuse to drink !
I'm surprised Tyra's book isn't called "It's All About ME."
Larry King's wife probably feels that he's close enough to death that sticking around could be more profitable than divorce.
Here's hoping Heidi Montag soon files for a restraining order against Spencer !
Jason Trawick certainly has his head together regarding Brittany, because I'd CERTAINLY rather date her than have ANYTHING to do with her music, lol !
Katy Perry's aight, but not "sit on the sun" hot, or maybe my 'roid cream is just kicking in....
Regardless, Penn will certainly LOOK like "Sam" if he's photograhed picking up garbage from the side of the road.
Any vacation from "The View" is time WELL SPENT.
And in closing, Holy Shit ! Talk about a VIEW !!!
HOPE YOU "STRIKE OUT" this weekend, BDS !
When I heard about the Tyra book I turned to my friend and guaranteed it would be a ghost writer. Whatever, I'd still bang her.
What kind of mother would disapprove of her daughter getting ten plastic surgeries in one day anyway? Oh, right, any mother.
You mean the K-Fed experience wasn't enough for Britney to learn not to date co-workers?
300 hours is a lot of community service. I wonder if he's going to hire a stunt double to do it.
You should know NEVER to try and drink like Doc Holliday. Never. He died remember? Or maybe that was from VD. I don't recall...
"Intoxibellas"? I'm sure The Soup will have a heyday with that one. ha
I hate to be the one to point it out, but you used the same image two Quick Hits in a row. You're slipping, man. ;)
Have a good, whiskey-free weekend!
Hmmm so this new job doesn't let you get out till 5pm eek!
Can't Tyra just stick to modelling??? Why do "celebrities" do that...."I'm an actress, model, writer, I make perfume, clothing....." UGH. Can't they stick to the ONE thing they do well???
Wow, this post is like a parade of pathetic...excluding Perry and Walters. Both women fascinate me in their age defiance and expert use of wardrobe and makeup. Happy bowling and Happy Friday!
leaving the office at 5:00? Sooooo sorry.
I'm just a little freaked by those before/after pictures of that Heidi Pratt. And when I say a "little" I mean, almost slammed the laptop lid down.
Wow, I missed the whole Britney thing. Life is good.
Have a great weekend and I hope you got all strikes and no gutters.
Heff - First w/ detail. Very nice, so you can't bowl and not drink - it's impossible - that's the alternate title for Tyra's book, could be the exact right theory on that relationship, I wish someone would punch him in the face, that is the better choice w/ Spears, no - you're spot-on about Perry as I feel the same way, that's a lot of community service, a permanent vacation for me, and great view indeed . . . and I rolled a few strikes last night. Happy Friday Heff.
Native Minnow - Ha. Laughing at the whole Tyra line, exactly on mothers & Montag's surgery, this guy has to be better/more ambitious than K-Fed, right?, and I'd pay a double myself because that's a chunk of time. Happy Friday Minnow.
Jlee - It was tuberculosis, but I'm sure the drinking didn't help. Ha. And yeah, I exect to see that book on 'The Soup' very soon. Damn. You're right on the pic as things are slipping. Quality control is needed. And more time. I'll add an extra new image next week to compensate. Happy Friday Jlee.
Miss Ash - I know - 5 pm is ridiculous. Grrr . . . and as for celebs and other projects it's just a money grab (usually) plus bouts of egomania thrown in for good measure, at least in my opinion. Happy Friday Miss Ash.
Linda - It was kind of a loser-ville week around here, eh? I should have watched 'The Big Lebowski' or 'Kingpin' before rolling . . . Happy Friday Linda.
Boxer - Was that sarcasm? I detect sarcasm on the 5 pm . . . Ha. I barely caught the Spears thing myself, and yeah, the whole Heidi thing is plain freaky, but I can't entirely look away either. Pitiful. Anyhow, I rolled a 160-something, so not bad for someone who rolls about once a year or so. Happy Friday Boxer.
I totally missed you on Friday. Great post- hope your weekend was great! How's that new job working out?
*#%%^%# - Always good to see you around even if I don't understand it. Ha.
Nobich - Thansk and no worries on the tardiness as I'm so far behind on just about everything that it makes me a little ill. Ha. Oh well, Happy Belated Friday to you. And the new job is getting a bit better each day, however, it's also taking up most of my time . . .