2 Dollar Productions

"What are these fuckin' iguanas doing on my coffee table." - Nic Cage, 'Bad Lieutenant 2 - Port of Call New Orleans'


That was one gonzo performance by Cage, and a bizarrely entertaining and quirky movie that I would recommend heartily to anyone - Just don't expect too much and drink a little and it will all make sense.

That's really a philosophy I wish I could carry over to work, but I'm up to my ears in process, products and general chaos right now and I hope to be out the door by 5 p.m. Selah.

Before that can happen, however, let's look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Sandra Bullock told People magazine this week that she has filed for divorce from Jesse James, and also revealed that she and James had adopted a baby boy back in January.

The baby, whose name is Louis Bardo Bullock, was born in New Orleans. Bullock said that she plans to raise the 3 1/2-month old child as a single mother.


As Bullock stated: "Jesse can continue to raise the Nazi flag and I'll raise the child. Everyone wins."

In other baby news, Matt Damon and his wife, Luciana, confirmed that she is pregnant with the couple’s third child.

`Everyone is excited,'' Damon's rep says.


Except for Ben Affleck, who only has two children with Jennifer Garner, and considers this just another case of Damon showing him up.

It’s been hard to keep up the Bret Michaels affair, but in the past five days, he was rushed to the hospital after suffering a brain hemorrhage, underwent tests while remaining in critical but stable condition and found out he had a side effect that could lead to seizures.

His rep says he has not had any seizures.


I generally feel bad for Michaels, and so I’ll refrain from any bandana being too tight cause and effect jokes, and instead, wish him a speedy recovery so he’ll be having Nothing But a Good Time once again.

In worthless Lindsay Lohan news, the troubled starlet feuded with her Dad this week, was accused of throwing a glass at ex-girlfriend Sam Ronson and then caused controversy after posting a picture Wednesday on Twitter which showed her with a gun in her mouth.

The image was taken Tuesday night by photographer Tyler Shields. Shields will feature a few photos of LiLo in his new book, "The Dirty Side of Glamor."


“The Dirty Side of Glamour” will also be the title of the porno film that Lohan will inevitably shoot once her career completely implodes.

In other porn world news, Jenna Jameson and her boyfriend, mixed martial arts fighter Tito Ortiz, traded accusations this week one day after he was arrested for an alleged domestic violence attack against her.

Ortiz was arrested Monday at the home he shares with Jameson and their twin sons. Later that day, Ortiz and his attorney accused Jameson of drug addiction and claimed Ortiz never struck her.

"Jenna has been fighting a battle with OxyContin addiction for the past year. For Tito and her family this has been an uphill battle. Unfortunately this morning she had a relapse," Ortiz attorney Chip Matthews said. "Tito was trying to help her, she has threatened suicide before. Tito has done everything in his power to protect her privacy and the privacy of their children."


Ortiz apparently feels that beating the addiction out of someone is the only reasonable cure for addiction, a treatment he'll be able to discuss with the other abusers in jail.

Playboy magazine founder Hugh Hefner donated the last $900,000 sought by a conservation group for a land purchase needed to save the famed Hollywood sign from being spoiled by development.

"My childhood dreams and fantasies came from the movies, and the images created in Hollywood had a major influence on my life and Playboy," Hefner said in a statement. "As I've said before, the Hollywood sign is Hollywood's Eiffel Tower and I'm pleased to help preserve such an important cultural landmark."


He later added: "we both share a passion for 'Wood' so I could't let it go without a fight."

Jason Alexander, who played George Costanza in "Seinfeld," hit a teenage bicyclist Tuesday in California, police officials said.

The collision was reported at Wilshire Boulevard and June Street, and the 14-year-old boy was on his way to middle school when he was struck. He was taken to a hospital in stable condition.

Los Angeles police took an accident report and are investigating the incident, but Alexander was not cited.


Just to be safe, however, Alexander has been staying with Jerry's parents in Boca Del Vista until the incident blows over.

As always, let's end with a gold image or two:



I'm not certain of the bondage theme this week, but then again, it might be my feeling of being chained to a desk. Regardless, stay open to new possibilities, don't get yourself tied in knots and . . . Happy Friday!

-BDS

{Editor's Note: I'll be catching up on everyone's blogs this weekend.}