“The world meets nobody halfway. When you want something, you gotta take it.,” – Sylvester Stallone, “Over The Top” 
This 1987 film was probably the finest movie ever made about the somewhat illegal back-room arm wrestling circuit, and Stallone was very convincing as a truck driver who wanted to arm wrestle his way into the heart of his estranged son. But I digress.
I would arm wrestle a grizzly bear today if it meant I could get out of attending a rehearsal dinner tonight and a long wedding, which is also free from booze, tomorrow night. It’s an ugly situation, and I might just have to bring a flask, something I haven’t done since college. Anyway, before any of that happens, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Kate Gosselin accused estranged husband Jon Gosselin of swiping $230,000 from the joint checking account they share on “The Today Show” this week.
“He took $230,000 of the $231,000 we had,” Kate said on the show. “I have a stack of bills. The last thing I wanted was to do this show and end up not being able to pay our bills.”
Kate also said she can't sleep and she's worried about her former husband.
“He has gone way far off the trail. ... Obviously, I am very upset. I can’t sleep at night. I can’t pay my bills. I think he’s receiving bad advice. I think he’s making bad decisions.”
Jon responded that it was probably a bad decision to have 8 children and sign up for a reality show, but that ship sailed a long time ago. Then he went back to stuffing $230,000 worth of dollar bills into stripper’s g-strings in Vegas.
Lindsay Lohan’s debut collection for Parisian fashion house Emanuel Ungaro was unveiled on Sunday, showing super-short pink dresses and blazers worn over bare skin, and garnering largely negative reviews from fashion critics who didn’t seem to care for Lohan's bra tops and stripper-inspired nipple pasties.
"It's not good to show your nipples so they should be covered," Lohan told Reuters, referring to the heart-shaped pasties.
As evidenced by her past papparrazi shots, however, Lohan has no such qualms about covering up vaginas.
Levi Johnston - the 19-year-old baby daddy of Sarah Palin’s grandson - is set to appear in a photo shoot for Playgirl magazine, US Magazine reported this week.
"Team Levi is in the process of preparing for his Playgirl appearance," Rex Butler, Johnston's lawyer, said. "He is in the gym six days a week for the next three weeks." 
I’m just waiting for the next story where Johnston injures himself trying to do bicep curls with his penis.
A judge ruled Tuesday that Mel Gibson's conviction stemming from his notorious 2006 drunken driving arrest is being expunged.
The ruling came after Gibson’s lawyer had requested the dismissal following the actor-director’s successful completion of the terms of his three-year probation following the misdemeanor drunken driving arrest in which he made derogatory comments about Jews and women. As part of his no-contest plea, Gibson was sentenced to three years of probation, paid about $1,600 in fines and had to attend Alcoholics Anonymous and other meetings.
Gibson was unable, however, to convince the judge to expunge the memories of everyone else on the planet who still remembers Gibson’s “sugar tits” rant.
Madonna accepted damages from a British newspaper this week for publishing pictures of her wedding to Guy Ritchie that she said had been stolen from her home.
The singer wasn't in court Tuesday, but her lawyer confirmed that she had accepted "substantial" damages from Associated Newspapers, publisher of the Mail on Sunday, and that the singer would donate the money to her Raising Malawi charity. Madonna, who was divorced from Ritchie earlier this year, had sought damages in excess of $8 million.
The newspaper is now attempting to publish pictures of her divorce from Guy Ritchie to balance the scales.
In other Madonna – Guy Ritchie news, a year after Madonna called Ritchie "emotionally retarded," Ritchie told Esquire magazine Wednesday that he still loves her, but that she is "retarded" herself.
The 41 year-old British director said Madonna "makes things happen" and works hard at her career. "And, of course, here you go: I still love her," Ritchie told the magazine. "But she's retarded, too."
Ritchie said he plans to continue to use the “I’m rubber, you’re glue” childhood defense whenever Madonna insults him the future as well.
David Letterman made several on-air apologies to his wife and staff this week for having sex with co-workers after revealing last week that he had been the victim of a $2 million blackmail threat to expose the affairs.
Letterman also vowed to repair his relationship with his wife, but said: "Let me tell you folks, I got my work cut out for me," he said ruefully.
It wasn’t clear if Letterman meant the problems with his wife or with filling next year’s staff internship positions, which right now, has multiple vacancies.
Reality TV star Nicole Richie was hurt Monday in a traffic accident in Beverly Hills.
The 28-year-old Richie was driving a Land Rover on Wilshire Blvd. when she was rear-ended by a photographer who was driving without a license, said Beverly Hills police Lt. Mike Hill. Richie complained of pain but opted to seek her own treatment and no ambulance was called, Hill said.
Richie did, however, request that more photographers be called in order to take as many pictures as humanely possible.
As always, let’s end with a gold image or two: 
This is what I always imagined happened at sleepover parties even though experience has taught me that this is not the case at all. Regardless, feel free to live out a fantasy today or grab onto life firmly with both hands and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
Why is Madonna posing for a photo with a dildo?
Wait a minute, that's a stupid question. Madonna invented posing for photos while holding dildos.
I always loved making fun of that movie "Over the Top". ha Classic.
I often call people I love "retarded", including myself. ;)
You know, us girls can never tell what happens at those slumber parties. Then we'd have to kill you. lol Have a good weekend!
WIGSF - She even published that 'Sex' book back in the 90s (?) that apparently had a lot of that sort of thing & made a ton of money, so stick with what you know I guess. Happy Friday.
Jlee - I have soft spot for that movie, and recently, strongly considered buying it on Blu Ray. But I didn't - at least not for now. Ha. And as long as that kind of thing happens somewhere, at some sleepover party, then I'm content. Ha. Happy Friday.
Lindsay Lohan has a fashion collection? The mind truly boggles......
This wedding you're going to sounds a bit tragic B....no alcohol? And it's going to be long? Oh that's just cruel.
I hope you manage to get through it and yes, I think a hip flask is definitely in order.
Blast-From-The-Past that might seem off-topic but...
Winona Ryder shelled-out 1.6 million in Attorney's fees in order to get probation on a first-offense shoplifting charge. That included legal fees for an "acting coach" and a "wardrobe consultant".
My guess is EVERY defendant with NO lawyer present gets probation-or-less for first-offense shoplifting in Calipornia.
One wonders how much Mel shelled-out to get a record expunged. Something that is virtually automatic if the terms of probation (or pre-trial intervention) were met.
Go West, young lawyer, Go West!
Gypsy - Yeah, wonders never cease w/ Lohan. Ha. And yes, the wedding is dry and long and will undoubtably be ugly. But I will survive. With a little help from the flash. :) Have a great weekend Gypsy.
Troll Y2K - I had no idea about the Ryder story, so thanks for that. It's kind of amazing, but really, I can't imagine it was worth the cash to get that result. Maybe it was, but Ryder's career has never gotten back on track after that incident. But yeah, I guess if you want to commit a crime, then head West. Why not? Happy Friday.
Quick Heff Friday !!!
Damn, these Jon & Kate jokes are really getting out of hand....Ok, Jon & Kate Plus Eight = $ 231,000 - $ 230,000 ? My, how math has changed over the years....
I think I'm really starting to LIKE Lindsay Lohan....stay tuned !
What's the Playgirl feature gonna be called, "Johnston's Johnson" ?
I'm pretty sure to this DAY that if Mel Gibson's liver was "expunged", we could ALL get drunk from the remnants.
Madonna is upset about THOSE pictures ? Jeez, you'd think she'd still be more upset about those nude pictures of herself from the Eighties when she displayed foot long armpit hair....
You gotta hand it to Letterman - Way to take advantage of your position ! (or several of 'em). I always figured Dave "partied" !
Something tells me that's NOT the first time Nicole Richie has been "rear-ended" !
And in closing, "Heff's feeling dirty...into the tub !!!"
Wow! So many icky people to choose from! (Although I know someone who knows Nicole and she's really a very nice person.)
Mel... bleah. I loved Lethal Weapon (the first one), but it's interesting how some of us can't watch an actor anymore, once his appalling personal behavior has been revealed.
Heff - Great to see you back in form, so . . . all Jon/Kate stories are getting old and I left a couple more out this week, I'm starting to feel the same exact way about Lohan for no reason I can articulate, thought about a Johnson joke myself, agree completely about Gison's liver and Madonna's pits (the latter of which I had forgotten), I read that Letterman kept a bachelor pad above the Late Show office for this, Ouch on Richie as I thought fleetingly about such a thing, and finally, get clean this weekend. Happy Friday Heff.
Wendy - Flew by you in Cyberspace . . and I know. Some weeks are like that I guess. I actually like Richie fine as she has a sense of humor from what I can tell. As for Gibson, I know what you mean about personal life crowding out film work as Tom Cruise has moved towards that same boat for me. Happy Friday.
Is the lawyers name seriously Rex Butler???
Love the "parade of idiots" this week. Gosselins, Lohan, Madonna, Gibson, Johnston *whew*, talk about stupid human tricks. Ah Dave, I still love ya(but I do feel for his wife). Maybe you'll be surprised and have fun at the wedding. Have a good weekend and Happy Friday!!
Miss Ash - I did not verfiy the accurracy of that name, however, I tend to believe it as it's too great not to be real. Ha. Happy Friday.
Kmwthay - Yeah, it's about time Lindsay & Nicole showed up together. Ha. And I agree about Madonna as she looks really odd lately and I think she's taking HGH among other things. As for Levi, he needs to just go away into the wilds of Alaska & stay there. Finally, I propose the same solution for the wedding. We'll see. Ha. Happy Friday.
Linda - Passed you in Cyberspace, and Stupid Human Tricks indeed. Ha. Quite a collection this week, and yeah, I do feel back for Letterman's wife and really the whole thing is just fairly unfortunate. Oh well . . . the wedding might be better than expected as mine are very low at the moment. Happy Friday.
I'm not sure what's better. Your QHF or the comments. Heff is on fire and kmwathy is a very close second.
A dry wedding? What's next? Potluck reception? Twinkies for the wedding cake? It must be a VERY good friend for you to give up an entire weekend. Take the flask and I hope it makes for good a good blog post.
Have a great weekend!
A dry wedding it could only end in divorce......Happy Friday!
Boxer - It's always nice when it a tight rivalry. Ha. Good stuff from everyone today. And had to laugh about the Twinkie cake as I still don't understand the rationale. Just brutal. Hope you had a good weekend.
Nobich - You said it. It can't be a good omen. Ha. Happy Belated Friday.