“You don't know shit about the shit we're in out here!” – Owen Wilson, “Anaconda”
I might not know shit, but I know a shitty movie script when I see one, which is more than I can say for Wilson, Jennifer Lopez, Jon Voight and Ice Cube who all signed on for this giant snake movie, though to be fair, I did see it in the theaters on a date for reasons I can’t adequately explain at the moment. Selah.
Anyway, I loathe snakes, so I plan to stay away from all reptiles and slither my way out of the office by 3 p.m., but before that can happen, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Britney Spears has done it again as the U.S. pop singer had her new single, "3," rocket to No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 in its debut week.
The song, who some allege concerns a threesome invitation, entered the charts at the top, making her the first artist with a debut No. 1 in more than three years, Billboard said on Wednesday.
In response, Spears said: "I am truly blessed with the greatest fans in the world and I am so happy y'all love it because I do this all for you."
She later added, but “I do the actual threesomes for myself – ya’ll understand.”
A former Ralph Lauren model whose image was digitally slenderized for an ad campaign said Wednesday that the Ralph Lauren label did not renew her contract because she was "too large."
The photo's emaciated depiction of her, with hips about as narrow as her head, could make young women "think that it's normal to look like that — and it's not," the 5-foot-10, 120-pound model told NBC's "Today" show.
She later told the Daily News that: "They fired me because they said I was overweight and I couldn't fit in their clothes anymore," 23-year-old Filippa Hamilton, who worked for the company since she was 15. She has not decided whether to sue, said Jesse Derris, her spokesman at Sunshine Sachs & Associates.
Meanwhile, Ralph Lauren said the whole thing is ridiculous because Hamilton was simply fired for not sleeping with him, and that her weight had nothing to do with the decision.
In legitimate workplace sex news, another late-night talk show host admitted a relationship with a staffer this week as Jimmy Kimmel confirmed that he has been dating the show’s co-heard-writer, Molly McNearney.
Since joining the show as an assistant in 2003, McNearney, 31, was promoted to writer in 2006 and to co-head writer in May 2008, People says. The Kimmel-McNearny relationship has been going on several months, according to sources cited by the magazines.
This decision obviously worked out so well for David Letterman that Kimmel couldn’t help trying it for himself.
Michael Jackson’s first posthumous single "This Is It" was released Monday, and hours after it hit the airwaves, it emerged that the tune had been recorded 18 years ago by an obscure Puerto Rican singer.
The co-author of that tune, songwriter Paul Anka, threatened to sue Jackson's estate for proper credit and his share of royalties and the administrators of the estate quickly acknowledged Anka's claims and granted him 50 percent of the copyright.
"They realize it's a mistake, they realize it's my song, they realize it's my production of his vocal in my studio and I am getting 50 percent of the whole project, actually, which is fair," Anka said in a video posted on the TMZ gossip Web site.
Anka is now the richest obscure Puerto Rican singer in history.
In a hearing in family court Tuesday, a judge ordered Jon Gosselin to return $180,000in marital funds, according to Kate Gosselin’s lawyer.
Her lawyer, Mark Momjian, said Montgomery County Judge Arthur Tilson ordered Jon Gosselin to return the money by Oct. 26 or face contempt charges. 
In a related story, large quantities of ugly t-shirts, male diamond stud earrings and self-help books have turned up on Ebay with an ending date of Oct. 25th attached to them.
Avril Lavigne filed for divorce this week from her musician husband after three years of marriage to Sum 41 singer Deryck Jason Whibley.
The couple were married in July 2006 and have no children together and Lavigne cited "irreconcilable differences" as the reason for the split. 
Whibly is claiming that Lavigne has been sleeping with Skater Boyz during their entire marriage, and it became too much to bear.
Megan Fox was announced as the new female face of Armani next year, replacing Victoria Beckham for the campaign.
Fox will appear in the Italian fashion leaders women’s wear ads from 2010 onward, and also be involved in a Armani Jeans campaign that is being shot in L.A. this week. 
This seems like a perfect job for Fox since it shouldn’t require her to actually speak a single word.
Garth Brooks announced Thursday that he's coming out of retirement with a show in Las Vegas.
Brooks, 47, said at a news conference in Nashville that he will end his retirement with an extended engagement at the Wynn Resort. He retired in 2000 to spend more time with his three children. 
Apparently, his children got tired of listening to his music too.
As always, let’s end with a gold image of three:
A little suggestion instead of pure showcasing is sometimes a good thing (though not always). So, try a change of pace today, hold a little something back and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
Other than transformers I had never seen Fox in any films until this week. I watched some movie How to Lose Friends And Alienate People or something....I couldn't tell if she was a terrible actress or if she was playing a terrible actress.....
Enjoy the weekend, the forecast for up here is snow brrrrrr!!!
What has happened to Jon Gosselin? Technically, I shouldn't ask because I had never heard of the man or his show until the tabloids took up the divorce but he certainly appeared more sane in the earlier tab reports than he has in the recent ones.
Miss Ash - I've only seen her in 'Transformers' though I plan to rent 'Megan's Body" when it comes out on DVD. Ha. And I don't think she's a particularly good actress though I never saw the film you mentioned. Oh well, it's supposed to be sunny, crisp and in the 70s here this weekend, so I"m excited. Happy Friday.
Bostonpobble - A good question, but I think he's just having a life crisis on a national stage where he really shouldn't get the ink he's getting and he's kind of a doofus (sp?) to boot. Ha. Happy Friday.
I hate to say I missed "Anaconda" when it came out. Nah, I don't hate to say it. lol
I cannot believe that Ralph Lauren pic/story. Scary. I remember thinking when I was a teen after looking at fashion mags that your calves and thighs were supposed to be the same size! ha
Nice ending images. Have a nice weekend, hopefully the weather will cooperate here.
Jlee - You're missing out on 'Anaconda,' at least I think it worked out for me. Ha. Actually, there's nothing to miss . . . and yeah, that RL story is just bizarre & that picture is terrifying and glad you liked the pics and finally, Happy Friday. It's supposed to be sunny, but it's gray so far down here.
I don't like acutal snakes, but love them as a motif. In Victorian times, they symbolized eternal love. In fact, on Saturday, I'm getting a pair tattooed on my shoulder. (Don't tell my mom.)
Tell me you were kidding about not liking Anaconda. I thought it was so campy that it was fabulous, especially the part where the snake barfs up Jon Voight.
I like, you know, like farted in my, like Arm's Army Jeans, and like, left, like a huge stain, like, you know. So, you should, like, you know, like buy Arm's Army jeans, you know.
I'd have a threesome with Britney, as long as it wasn't a wrong-way-threeway, and I didn't have to listen to her music.
I used to have a major crush on a girl I knew who used to work runway. She quit because they kept telling her she was too fat. She's 5' 6" and about 105 lbs.
Speaking of Letterman and Kimmel, I've never understood workplace relationships. Sure they're convenient, but what happens when it all goes bad? (And it always does.)
I'd hoped the Michael Jackson lovefest had ended. It clearly hasn't. I had more than enough of him the first time around.
Jon Gosselin is a world class douche, and looks just like all the douchebags you see running around Vegas.
Another divorce between two musicians? Who could've predicted that?
Mmmmmmm. Megan Fox.
I didn't even know Garth Brooks was retired.
Poor Brit. Why can't girls musically express their desire for a threesome without it comming under fire?
So, if that RL model is "too fat" then theres certainly no hope for me to be skinny. Excuse me while I go binge and purge.
Jon Gosselin has offically made it to my list of dudes who need their asses kicked. What is he wearing? And he's gotten so tubby, I nearly mistook him for Kfed.
Happy Friday! GO SOONERS!
Anaconda Movie: Wonder how Ice Cube and Jon Voight's conversations went.
Britney Spears: Not sure if Britney knows it, but yeah, the lyrics are about Threesomes. They're way over-rated, btw.
Jimmy Kimmel: I thought he was fucking Ben Affleck?
Paul Anka: Don't ever fuck with the AnkMan. Little dude's got closer mob connections than Sinatra ever did.
Avril Lavigne: Maybe she realized that he looks like the guy the other "club kids" beat the crap out of for being too gay.
Jon Gosselin: World's oldest and dumbest "club kid"?
Garth Brooks: Everyone I know who's seen him say he puts on a helluva live show. Lots of rockish music and Vegas-Style atmospherics.
Wendy - That's interesting about the snake motif as I guess I can see it, especially when they are kind of entwined or something and have no beginning or end. As for 'Anaconda,' let's just say I saw it twice, and if you tell nobody about that, then your Mom will never find out about the tattoo. Ha. Happy Friday.
Megan Fox - I still might buy the jeans. I'm not proud to admit that. Happy Friday.
Native Minnow - Appreciate the detail, so I'd have to agree with you about Britney on both counts, that sounds ridiculous but the whole industry is so . . . sounds like a good chance to comfort yr. crush, they do always go bad and that means a poor work environment for sure, he's got a movie coming out sometime soon so prepare yourself for another round, agree 100% about Gosselin, everyone could have seen that coming and I love Fox, especially when she's not giving interviews. Happy Friday Minnow.
Kmwthay - Britney gets none of that from me - I support her in that endeavor. Ha. Modeling is just a bizarre industry, but that thing is even stranger than most and her pic that they digitally slimmed is awful. And smart move adding Gosselin to the list as someone should probably punch him in his fat stomach, much like the Sooners are going to get punched this weekend. :) Enjoy it & Happy Friday.
Troll Y2K - Flew past you in Cyberspace, but . . . I would like a transcript of those conversations, Spear's music or threesomes (?) and yeah, the latter are generally (though not always) more trouble than they are worth, great Kimmel line as I should have thought of that, Anka does look like someone not to be trifled with, I don't like Lavigne very much either, so that whole story just bores me, Gosselin - yes, and I've heard that about Brooks too as I can respect the hard work, I just don't care too much for the music. Happy Friday.
I think it's funny that Jimmy Kimmel thinks anyone cares who he sleeps with. Jon Gosselin is a huge pile of yuck. He may replace Lohan in that category. ha! Hope you get to the movies this weekend and Happy Friday!!
Happy Friday!! & I agree with Wendy I enjoy watching Anaconda especially on a Sunday..
Linda - I hope so too, although with TX-OU this weekend, it might be a bit tough. I'm getting behind . . . Gosselin a huge pile, but he's not nearly as fun as Lohan. Ha. He will never replace her in my heart. Happy Friday to you.
Nobich - Happy Friday & 'Anaconda' falls into the so bad it's almost good category and Voight is especially campy in that one. Giant snakes too.
I only had time to read, not type, but thanks for a nice way to start my crazy Friday. I've never seen ANACONDA, but I've just put in on my list.
Have a great weekend, 2$.
I want to hear more about these threesomes you and Mr Troll are talking about. Sounds like it has more potential to titillate than what's going on in Hollywood this week. Ha!
Were they serious about that second pic of the RL model because it looks more like a joke pic? It's hideous either way.
I kind of have the same affection for Britney that you have for Lindsay. Both are train wrecks but you can't help liking them in a weird kind of way.
Love the gold images especially the last two and have yourself a wicked weekend B.
PS Where's Heff? Always look forward to his comments?
That Megan Foxx...I don't get it...I mean she is pretty...but there is seriously nothing upstairs (yes, I know there are 2 important things 'upstairs')....and she is not a good actress. And Jon Gosselin...when will he be on TOOL academy? that boy will not be impanting anymore seed....he is nasty.
oh my. Is that photoshopped picture of the model for real? That is........... just scary. It's really scary that they thought that looks normal.
Finally watched the "Longhorns" play. Until yesterday, I was hoping Boise State would play the Mighty Gators in the Championship Game.
Boxer - Hope you're having a great, if crazy weekend and you should put 'Anaconda' on the list as Voight is hamming it up with a crazy accent to boot. Ha. Happy Friday (belated) Boxer.
Gypsy - I think Heff's celebrating his 2 year blog anniversary with a vacaton. Ha. And I have no idea what that modeling pic was supposed to accomplish except look ridiculous. I actually root for Britney a bit too as she's a survivor & picked herself up faster than Lindsay has. And glad you liked the pics as the threesomes can wait for another post. Ha. Hope you had a good weekend Gypsy.
VIvavavoom - Tool Academy indeed. Ha. YOu're spot-on with that one, and yeah, Fox is not a great actress nor does she say anything of value in interviews (beyond outrageous statements), but she's a looker . . . :) Happy Friday belated Viva.
Amelie - Scary is a good word as I found it terrifying. I have no idea what they were thinking, but then again, it's a weird, weird industry. Hope you had a good weekend.
Troll Y2K - It was an ugly game and our offense has never looked so inept, but did you watch the Florida game? You were lucky to beat a half-step above mediocre Arkansas team who backed out of playing Texas because they were scared. And your offense looks no better than ours & 'Bama just jumped you in the AP poll and . . . do I have to go on. Florida is a good team this year (though far worse than the past few years), but I still think 'Bama is better and you could get beat even with a weak schedule remaining. TX will play more ranked teams than Florida by the end of the season even if TX will lose at least one game along the way because our offense itsn't up to snuff. The defense, however, is good. Whew.
Weak schedules? The Gator's is rated 8th. Arkansas's is rated FIRST. Texas tied for 31st and THAT is too high!
The Gators face 3 more SEC road games. Texas faces patsies and that includes whoever wins the Big 12 North by default.
Ha. Figured that would get a response. So what if those remaining games are on the road? The only ranked team right now is S. Carolina whose offense is absolutely terrible and who won't be ranked by the time you play them. Arkansas has played a hard schedule, but they are only a solid team this year and I would argue that Oklahoma is better than them . . .