“Don't get saucy with me, Bearnaise!” – Harvey Korman, “History of the World Part 1”
There are far funnier things in ‘History,’ but I always love a good (or bad) pun, and somehow Korman pulls this one off in the film. I am pulling out of work especially early today to drive north to attend a baseball game tomorrow night and visit family. So, before I hit the door by noon to avoid rush hour traffic on the back-end, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
David Hasselhoff was taken by ambulance to a hospital this past week due to either alcohol poisoning or due to an ear infection, the latter according to the Hoff.
The Hoff was taken from his home to an Encino, CA hospital Sunday afternoon after 911 was called. According to RadarOnline.com, Hasselhoff had been drinking vodka for more than a day when the ambulance was called. Hasselhoff later claimed that his daughter – Hayley – called 911 after finding him collapsed with dizziness caused by a combination of drugs used to treat an ear infection. 
Unfortunately, the "prescription drugs" for the ear infection were produced by Skyy, Smirnoff and Grey Goose. Seriously, Kitt needs to find his old friend and drive his ass straight to rehab.
Actor Randy Quaid and his wife Evi were arrested on Thursday in Texas following a complaint that they skipped out on a $10,000.00 in California, according to U.S. authorities.
The Santa Barbara County Sheriff's Department said the complaint was made in early September by a hotel in California and warrants for burglary, defrauding an innkeeper and conspiracy were issued as part of a criminal investigation. The 58-year-old actor and his former model wife were both reported to have posted their $20,000 bail.
This is what happens when you turn Cousin Eddie loose in the big city.
The daughter of the Mamas & The Papas singer John Phillips said this week that she allegedly engaged in a 10-year sexual relationship with him.
Mackenzie Phillips revealed details about the alleged relationship – which she says started in 1979, when she was 19 – in a television interview on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” and has written about it in her autobiography, 'High On Arrival.'
Phillips, who has a history of drug abuse, reportedly writes that her first sexual encounter with her father took place the night before she was due to marry Jeff Sesler, a member of Rolling Stones’ entourage.
"I woke up that night from a blackout to find myself having sex with my own father," she writes in the book.
This whole story is pretty distasteful, and while I hope it is not true, it definitely makes the band’s name a poor, poor choice in hindsight.
Gisele Bundchen announced a new role this week: United Nations goodwill ambassador for the environment.
"I'm really honored to have received a call from the UN to spread the message about climate change in the world," the supermodel, 29, told reporters during an appearance in Manhattan's Washington Square. 
I’m no expert on global warming, but Gisele is hot enough that she’s probably responsible for raising the planet’s temperature all by herself, so it’s probably good karma that she’s attempting to cool it back off.
Heather Locklear is reprising her signature role as Amanda Woodward on the CW’s updated version of "Melrose Place," the network announced Tuesday.
Locklear will make her debut appearance Nov. 17 on the prime-time soap where she will join other original members of the show such as Daphne Zungia, Laura Laura Leighton and Thomas Calabro.
Somewhere in a darkened apartment, Andrew Shue is crying out: Why is Hollywood blackballing me?
Khloe Kardashian – the Kardashian sister without the giant ass and not the one who’s pregnant out of wedlock - confirmed she is set to wed basketball player Lamar Odom this weekend.
The ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ reality star posted a message on her blog confirming the rumors: She wrote: "Hi dolls, I'm thrilled to finally be able to tell you that the news is true... Lamar and I are getting married on Sunday!!!"
They will be getting divorced during the next season of ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ or the start of the NBA season, whichever comes first.
Kevin Federline – Britney Spears’ ex-husband known as K-Fed – confirmed this week that he will be joining the cast of the next installment of VH1’s “Celebrity Fit Club.”
He’s hoping to lose enough weight to return his nickname to K-Fed from K-Fat.
Actress Lindsay Lohan will host three days of concerts featuring Beyonce Knowles and Black Eyed Peas to coincide with Sunday night's Singapore Grand Prix.
Lohan, 23, was a last-minute replacement after Pussy Cat Doll Nicole Scherzinger dropped out earlier this month. Lohan said she was honored because she is also a Formula One racing fan. "I like to drive. I like cars. I like fast cars," she said.
Lohan added: I like to talk very fast. I like to repeat myself. I like cocaine.
Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. welcomed a baby girl this past weekend named Charlotte Grace Prinze. 
Meanwhile, somewhere inside a very expensive crib, Sparrow James Midnight Madden is crying and beating his fists in even more anger about his unfortunate name.
As always, let’s end with a gold image or two: 
It’s been raining a lot this week in Austin, although I have yet to see anyone take to the streets like this. Regardless, enjoy singing or stripping in the rain, never refuse a hitchhiker without a shirt (where is she going to hide the knife to gut you?) and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
Where's the cheeseburger? What's the cheeseburger's take on this Hasselhoff development?
Although Cousin Eddie was a wonderful character, Randy Quaid, to me, will always be that naive Amish guy in Kingpin.
Mackenzie Phillips... What's more messed up? That John Phillips did that to her, or that she didn't stop it?
Gisele Bundchen, yeah she's hot. But she's not my cup of tea. She's no Megan Fox.
They're bringing back Melrose Place. Unlike Jerry Seinfeld, I can honestly say I don't watch that show.
Marrying Lamar Odom... The things women will do to get Lakers tickets.
Federline has to do something. His only other option is to be a stockboy at K-Mart.
Lindsay Lohan sucks. That is all.
Kudos to the cast of Scooby-Doo for naming their child properly. I was kind of expecting a Freddie Prinze III, but I guess that would be better on a boy than a girl.
Happy Friday... And it's good to be the king.
WIGSF - Thanks for the detail, so I'm starting to feel bad for the Hoff about this (though had to laugh about the cheeseburger, ha), it's close, but the Amish cousin is just a hair behind Eddie, the whole thing is messed up, I would agree about Gisele/Fox but at least Gisele shuts up now and again, Melrose Place is already back (and I'm not watching), tickets are hard to come by, like the K-Mart joke, agree on Lohan, agree about the naming and the King line is probably the best one in that film. Happy Friday.
So with Cousin Eddie, is that like life imitating art.....Randy has actually turned into Eddie egad!!
As for that incestious relationship I recorded the show but have yet to watch it....doesn't seem like a nice pick me up topic.
Lovely images. Did anyone tell the Lohan that Singapore has VERY strict drug and public behavior laws that include CANING the miscreants?
Miss Ash - It could be that with Quaid, although a lot of time has elapsed since he played that character. Ha. And that's a huge hotel bill, I wonder how long they stayed there? And yeah, I wouldn't want to watch that show as the whole thing sounds pretty terrible. Happy Friday Miss Ash.
Troll Y2K - I forgot about that as caning has always seemed incredibly painful. That being said, IF Lohan was caned, it might finally screw her head on straight, not that I'm advocating caning for her or anyone else you understand. Ha. Happy Friday.
"K-Fat" bwahahahahah. I'll sooo be stealing that one and will probably tune in to see at least one of episodes. I hope he understands hee actually has to WORK to get that poundage off?
I'm ignoring the whole M.Phillips thing because I don't want to dismiss a legitimate problem, but it just all seems so bizarre to release this information now. And it's just ugly.
Have a great weeend, 2-Buck!
NOT SO QUICK HEFF FRIDAY !
Isn't History Of The World Part I the movie with "PissBoy" in it ?
Another visit to the "Hoffspital" for NightRider !
Perhaps Randy Quaid should call Clark Griswold to help him out of this jam.
Mackenzie Phillips needs to just chill out and take this krap "One Day At A Time".
Gisele Bundchen a goodwill ambassador ? "Hello, my name is Heff..."
I hate Melrose Place, but at least Heather Locklear isn't reprising her signature role as Tommy Lee's meat puppet.
Aw, the UGLIEST Kardashian is getting hitched ! I'm with ya - I'll give it a year.
As far as VH-1, they're really stretching the term "Celebrity" regarding K-Fed, aren't they ?
It's my guess that Lindsay Lohan will ALSO go on a 3 day bender.
Regarding Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr, I guess "I Know What They Did Last Winter."
And in closing, The Gold Image seemed more like "Four" than two !
Have a great weekend, 2Buck !
Boxer - Steal away. Ha. But seriously, you work out, so can imagine letting yourself go like that, to that extreme? Crazy. And yeah, I feel the exact same way about the whole Phillips saga. Happy Friday Boxer, enjoy it.
Heff - You're out late partying too much & not getting up early. Ha. But appreciate the detail, so yes, the piss boy is in there and he's funny himself, that is a worse pun that the saucy one (nice job), Chevy Chase might not have 10 grand to spare, the whole Philips thing should go away quickly, don't know if Gisele will be spreading goodwill in yr. part of the world, ha, meat puppet is a good term you don't hear enough, I probably give it 9 months (unless she gets preganant), VH1 has already stretched that term into meaninglessness (sp?), Lohan's been on a 3 year bender, liked the film reference and those are 4 good ones to end on . . . Happy Friday Heff.
I don't remember much about History of the World except "The Inquisition, what a show!" lol
You've been on a Mel Brooks kick lately, eh? No harm there.
I think a better choice for K-Fat would be "Dance Your Ass Off" don't you think? lol
The rain has finally stopped here. Hallelujah! Have a great weekend.
Jlee - You're right about Brooks as I moved off John Hughes movies which had been running for nearly a month. Probably onto something else next week unless I quote 'Spaceballs,' which I might. Ha. It would make the most sense for K-Fed to be on that show as that seems to be his one talent in life. Selah. And glad to hear the rain has stopped. Enjoy it & Happy Friday.
Oh Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay. That girl just doesn't know when to shut up. *sigh* I thought the Hoff sounded a bit loopy on the last few episodes of America's Got Talent. Figured he was back on the sauce. I think it's kind of funny how folks are stunned at the normal name for the Buffy baby. We've come to expect stranger things from celebs. Have a great weekend, travel safely and Happy Friday!
I must admit Melrose Place was a "must see" back in the day but I'm not sure how well it will stand up these days. If it comes here I will give it a look see for sure. Yes I have no shame.
What happened to K-Fed? OMG...he can't even say he did it for a role.
I didn't know Sarah and Freddie were having a baby...hell I didn't even know they were stll married. That fact alone must be a minor record but to name their baby something in the realms of normal is even more noteworthy. Good on them. At least that's one Hollywood child that might have a shot at not needing therapy.
Gisele looks beautiful in that pic and I LOVE those gold images too.
Great round up this week as always B and have a wonderful weekend.
Linda - I know about Lohan, although I'm beginning to love her for her QHF fodder. Ha. And yeah, I saw some Hoff clips & he has seemed really bizarre of late. And I agree 100% about the backwards baby expectation thing in Hollywood. Ha. Happy Friday to you.
Gypsy - I used to watch it too (though I think I quit before it ended its run). K-Fed just let himself go - for no reason except utter laziness. I always like Geller (Prinze less so), and she seems fairly reasonable and the fact they gave their kid a good name is nothing short of amazing these days. Glad you liked the pics and Happy Friday Gypsy.
yay for sarah michelle gellar and freddie :) I am a former buffy maniac (Not too sure about the former part actually :S )
Amelie - You and me both . . . great series. You can put me down for 'Angel' as well. Freddie Prinze Jr, however, not so much at all. Ha.