"Mother Goose, you pussy! - Slider, "Top Gun" 
The volleyball scene in 'Top Gun' has to be at the top of the most unintentionally home-erotic sequences in modern film as it seemed a bit odd that there appeared to be so much Baby Oil involved in a friendly beach game.
Anyway, my head is a little thick from celebrating my birthday yesterday, but since I plan to continue the festivities through the weekend, there is no time for rest and instead, let's look at the hard stories of the week (and there weren't many):
It was announced this week that Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' will be turned into a musical based on the album and video where Jackson transforms into a werewolf while out on a date.
The Nederlander Organization said in a statement that it had acquired the rights, and Jackson is expected to participate in the musical’s creation. In a statement, James L. Nederlander, the president of the organization, said: “I love the idea of making ‘Thriller’ a musical. Girl meets boy, they fall in love, boy has big secret, now what ...?” 
Then, the boy turns into a flat-out weirdo, begins bleaching his skin, hanging out with chimpanzees before ultimately fleeing the country in disgrace after multiple accusations of pedophilia. Wait, maybe that's another story . . .
Jessica Simpson showed off a much fuller figure and "mom-jeans" at the Radio 99.9 Kiss Country's annual Chili Cookoff in Florida this past Sunday.
No explanation was revealed, however, Jessica's sister - Ashlee Simpson - came quickly to her aid and declared: "I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister's weight." 
To which media outlets responded: Would you rather have us talk about the ridiculous name you gave your son? (Editor's Note: Name - Bronx Mowgli Wentz).
Entertainment Weekly is reporting that Joaquin Phoenix's bizarre career change from acting into a rapper, which Casey Affleck (who's married to Phoenix's sister Summer) has been filming, is a joke at the expense of the entertainment media and actors who take themselves too seriously.
"He said, 'It's a put-on. I'm going to pretend to have a meltdown and change careers, and Casey is going to film it,'" says one source who recently worked with Phoenix. "It's an art project for him," says a source. "He's going full out. He probably has told his reps that he's quit acting. Joaquin is very smart." 
Phoenix obviously isn't smart enough to pull off a 'joke' that is actually funny.
Elisabeth Hasselbeck announced Thursday on the ABC daytime chat show "The View" that she's pregnant with her third child, due in August. She said: "We are thankful for such great news and will begin planning our zone defense strategy immediately." 
Meanwhile, Hasselbeck's co-stars on the View said they are simply thankful the pregnancy will entail another maternity leave.
Mickey Rourke - Oscar-nominated for his turn in 'The Wrestler - said he this week that he's ready to rumble with WWE superstar Chris Jericho at Wrestlemania 25 in Reliant Stadium on April 5.
Rourke made the surprise announcement on the red carpet before the Screen Actors Guild Awards in Los Angeles, and the actor later added that he was going to throw Jericho "around the ring like tossed salad."
I hope the 'tossed salad' comment wasn't prison lingo for something else - seems doubtful.
As always, let's end with a golden image or two to set the mood: 
I hold no advanced degree in "Psychic Sciences," however, I can easily predict what might occur if I were thrown into either situation depicted here. So, don't be afraid to predict the future today, consider going back to school and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
Joaquin Phoenix is starting to look like Rick Rubin, co-founder of Def Jam Records and producer for Run DMC and the Beastie Boys. (As well as many other acts, but those are rappers.)
Quick Heff Friday !!!
First of all, Happy Birthday BDS.
From what I understand, Michael Jackson could use the money. Jesus, who would have guessed that someone as manly as Jacko would one day have something to do with a musical ?!??
Jessica Simpson still looks damn fine in my book. Her mistake was wearing two belts, and pants pulled up above her stomach. It's the "Jessica Simpson Soccer-Mom 2009 Tour" !!!
I hope Joaquin Phoenix ISN'T joking about the rap career, as I never thought much of his acting career, either. "Swing Joaquin, Swing ! "
I don't watch "The View", but "Elisabeth HasselRACK" looks GREAT in that photo !
I was actually looking forward to a Rourke/Jericho tossed salad. Um, Yeah...Since the announcement, Rourke has changed his mind, as well he should. That would have been a vicious Rourke-tossing (of sorts).
And in closing, You don't have to be Psychic to know what I'd do in these last two situations. First of all, I'd get rid of that damn book...
Have a great Birthday weekend, BDS !
I am cracking up at Roarke's choice of words. I don't think he realized how that would sound. lol
Let's hope life doesn't imitate art with the wrestling...
Finally, I'm no psychic either, but I see a strong vision of what would happen if you were thrown into those scenes. Your wife kicking your ass! ha
Have a great birthday weekend...I am celebrating a friend's tonight as well. Be careful!
WhatIgot - Good call as I didn't even make the Rubin connection. If Phoenix is serious about music, he should probably give that guy a call.
Heff - Good to see you back in full effect, so . . . Jackson does need the money as that guy is a mess, Simpson's mistake was those jeans which look really bad, Phoenix was pretty good in 'Gladiator,' you are 100% correct about Hasselbeck's picture, I just saw that Rourke was bowing out late last night after this went to press and get rid of the damn book indeed. Ha. Have a great weekend.
Jlee - If you cut right down to it, yes, that is the likely outcome. Ha. And yes, Rourke could have used a better choice of words. Have fun tonight as I plan to & let's both be careful - safety first. :)
Today's your birthday? Hope you get something like that last photo for a present. That'd be about the best you could hope for.
Uhmmm. Were there actually Headlines concerning Jess Simpson's weight-gain? Anyway, I agree with Heff, she remains doable.
My wrasslin' sources say Roarke will be ambushed by Vince McMahon and some henchmen. And then be rescued by 17-Time World Heavyweight Champion, The Living Legend, The Dirtiest Player in the Game, That Limo-Riding Jet-Flying Wheelin-Deeling Kiss-Stealing Son-Of-A-Gun, The Nature Boy, Ric Flair and The Four Horsemen.
Woooooooooooo. Woooooooooooooo.
P.S.
If you wanna be the man, you gotta beat the man.
P.P.S.
There's nothing ghey about the slogan in the first P.S.
Native Minnow - Thanks for the wishes as it was yesterday, but as you noted, maybe there's still one big surprise waiting for me. It would be hard to top, eh?
TheTroll - Ha. I remember the Nature Boy, and that whooooo! cry of his came across quite well in yr. comment. Didn't Arn Anderson or someone like that use to be part of the Horseman? Dusty Rhodes. Nope, not him. Anyway, Rourke is now officially out and I hear Flair is going to take part, so it might be intersting from that perspective. Finally, it was a SLOW news week, so I guess that's why Simpson's fuller figure made headlines. Hopefully, something more interesting occurs next week.
Well here's to a great Birthday extravaganza!! & Happy Friday!!
Arn (The Enforcer) Anderson had the honor of being a Horseman, yes. Dusty (the american dream) Rhodes was not worthy of lacing up the horsemen's day-glo orange half-boots.
P.S.
Wearing feathered sequined capes, pink briefs and orange half-boots isn't ghey at all.
Nobich - Thanks as I'll drink to that . . . Ha. Happy Friday to you!
TheTroll - Excellent. I knew I was half-right as Rhodes didn't seem to fit in there. He was out of shape as hell too (if I remember correctly). And I suppose that "Wearing feathered sequined capes, pink briefs and orange half-boots isn't ghey at all." Let's give it the benefit of the doubt, eh?
I think Jessica's biggeest sin in that appearance was the outfit, not her weight. Don't know when that picture of Hasslebeck was taken, but are those pregnant boobs, nursing boobs or both? That's some impressive clevage for that annoying little woman! Have a very Happy Birthday and Happy Friday!
I don't know about in the States but I know very few "mom's" who would be caught dead in Jessica's jeans. Wait...that came out wrong, you guys must be rubbing off on me.
Happy Birthday for yesterday B. You kept that one very quiet. I hope you keep celebrating all weekend as all good young bucks should.
Linda - "That's some impressive cleavage for that annoying little woman!" Ha. I couldn't agree more on both accounts, and I think that was post-pregnancy nursing cleavage. I think. And yes, I agree about Simpson as that outfit was a very poor choice. Thanks on the birthday & Have a great weekend (I might see 'Taken' this weekend for an Oscar break).
Romany Angel - Ha. Sometimes things look worse onscreen than they sound in your head, eh? I know they sometimes appear that way for me. I hope nobody wears those jeans or those belts or virtually anything from that outfit as it was fairly horrendous. Thank you on the birthday wishes as I did keep it quiet because they aren't much fun after you hit 21 in my book (legal age to drink in the States). :) Happy Friday!
Happy Belated Birthday!
Troll and Heff are equally funny today.
I'm just scratchin' my head and trying to figure what the F happened to hot/sexy Joaquin. Super depressing.
Happy Friday!
Happy Birthday, $$!
Happy Birthday.
I had Jessica Simpson all set to jump out of a cake for you...but she eated it.
1st off birthday wishes are in order to you and your brother!
While not a fan of Jessica Simpson, I must say that she looks great however clearly has no fashion sense cause those jeans are ugly.
As for Joaquin let's all take a moment of silence....he's resembling a homeless man more than the hot stud that he is. *sniff*
Happy birthday. Sounds like you had fun.
But I have to come out and say it. Fake boobs are not attractive. Maybe its just me, I don't understand their appeal.
Happy Birthday!!
Boxer - Thank you. As for Joaquin, it's best not to think too deeply because I don't he is doing much of that with this endeavor. And I guarantee you he will act again when the money runs out. Happy Friday.
Bostonpobble - Thanks Pobble. It's been pretty good so far (as far as birthdays go).
Idobcool - Thanks, and that's a pretty funny image too. Ha.
Miss Ash - Thank you as I will convey it my brother (though we aren't twins & his was in December, so pretty close . . . Ha.) Nobody could look good in Jess's jeans, and nobody could look good in Joaquin's beard. Nobody. Happy Friday.
Getoffmylawn - Thanks on the birthday wishes. Personally, I don't discriminate against fake or natural boobs as I find a lot of satisfaction in both. Ha. But I respect yr. opinion as I've heard it echoed before, and had discusions about the subject too. I think we need inclusion with this subject, not less.
TrinabeingTrina - Thanks . . . I appreciate it as I've got a celebratory dinner out tonight. Happy Friday.