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Back To Work Blues . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Wednesday, January 07, 2009

The Christmas presents have been put away. The lights are gone. Virtually every last remnant of the holidays has vanished, which leaves returning to work as the only consolation prize.

I always loathe the long, slow march back to the office after the last two weeks of the year. The way the holidays broke this time - with Christmas and then New Years consuming Wednesdays and Thursdays (and Friday was often a joke) - it has been especially difficult to motivate myself for a return to a full week at my desk.

This morning, I arrived thinking that today should be a Friday. It wasn't.

But since the New Year dawned, I'm trying to stay away from black moods, and with that in mind, I've been drinking coffee this morning while trying to come up with workplace distractions to ease the pain of returning. Here's a few ideas so far:

* Change your light switch to something more exotic.


* Use unwanted gift cards to send highly embarrassing gifts to your superiors at the office who you secretly loathe.

* Leave used underwear randomly around the office.


* Urinate in the communal office plants, but NOT into the coffee maker as that is just plain sick

* Fill your desk with brand new picture frames and yet keep the happily deranged stock photos on display.

* Paint your dry erase board completely black and tell anyone who asks that it's a piece of art you bought at an auction (never admit it remains a dry erase board).

* Change your screensaver to rotating pictures of medieval torture devices.


* Annex a co-workers desk, and claim the territory as your own. Tell them to take it up with HR if they question your sovereignty.

* Place a decapitated stuffed animal on the interns desk, and when they ask "Who would do such a thing?," respond with "Anyone."

That's a quick and dirty list, but my brain is not functioning properly yet today. I'll take any suggestions as well because this week already feels too damn long.

-BDS

18 comments

  1. Mr. DNA Says:
  2. "Anyone."


    awesome

     
  3. Heff Says:
  4. Amen. This week sucks out loud. By the way, the Medieval Torture devices jpg makes a GREAT background wallpaper.

     
  5. Mr. DNA - Thanks as that one was almost off the list as it was a last-minute addition. Ha.

    Heff - I appreciate you testing out my theory as I figured it might work well. It's nice to occasionally be proven correct, eh?

     
  6. Romany Angel Says:
  7. Boy I could have some fun with that torture chamber :0

    I hope your return to work isn't too painful B.

     
  8. You're assuming my screensaver isn't already medieval torture devices.

     
  9. Boxer Says:
  10. We had some snow days AND time off for both Holidays, so this week is especially grindy for getting back to work... and it's a LONG way to our next 3 day weekend... Memorial Day.

    Bah! January in Seattle is bleak thanks for the new options.

     
  11. Romany Angel - That's what they all say until they are shackled to the wall. Ha. Thanks for the good words as the week is starting to head downhill now . ..

    WhatIgot - Good point. If so, and you haven't received any complaints or a visit to the HR department, then you're doing something right.

    Boxer - That's the downside of seeing the white stuff disappear I guess . . . at least you got a few snow days as I wish I had those every once in awhile (but not too often). Sorry to hear about the bleakness of January back your way as I usually consider February to be the bleakest month for my tastes. Let's hope it's not too bad for either of us, eh?

     
  12. Miss Ash Says:
  13. Love the torture device idea as it would surely get a rise out of my boss.

    She didn't seem to appreciate the photo of my friend and I hitchhiking so.....

     
  14. BostonPobble Says:
  15. When I worked in a family center, we had lots of toys that sang songs. We also had an all-phone intercom system. When it got slow or we got bored, inevitably someone would hit the intercom system and a toy would start singing throughout the entire office. Good unless you had a utility company on the other line for a client.

     
  16. slopmaster Says:
  17. the WORST is people trying to carry over that whole Christmas cheer over to the new year! the worst!

     
  18. JLee Says:
  19. You know, we ask you for some man flesh pictures around here and we get "underwear man"??? I need a mind eraser for that one. ha

     
  20. Miss Ash - That is really random about the hitchhiking picture as I think it might demand a post or some further explanation. Ha. Bizarre.

    Bostonpobble - Ha. I like the sound of that as you have to find ways to cope and more importantly laugh at work or things can get ugly.


    Slopmaster - Good point. Those kind of people deserve to be skinned alive, although that is probably taking things a bit far. Probably.

    Jlee - I try, and this is the thanks I receive. Ha. But tighty-whities don't look good on anyone. Not a soul . . .

     
  21. I think that underwear man needs to be thrown into that dungeon, never to be seen again.

     
  22. TROLL Says:
  23. Can't think of any. The picture frame idea would be better if they were all of the family-gathering type and people of a different race though. Maybe photoshop your image in the midst of them.

     
  24. Native Minnow - That would be a fine solution. I figure once you're a certain age, you just don't give a damn anymore, which has its merits I suppose.

    TheTroll - I need to become proficient in Photoshop just so I could do things like that. As it stands, I can't do anything with it. On a different note, I'm nervous about the game tonight as Florida is fast, and as Alabama found out with Utah, speed can kill. We'll see.

     
  25. TROLL Says:
  26. 2DoPro,

    I haven't been able to find out where the referees will be from. That'll be the key.

    If OU can defeat the Gators under MAN rules, they'll deserve their championship. If the officials are from a SISSY conference and OU wins then Texas and USC will have a legitimate gripe. Maybe even Utah.

     
  27. TROLL Says:
  28. CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP!
    CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP!
    CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP!
    CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP!
    CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP!
    CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP!
    CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP!
    CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP!
    CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP!

     
  29. OK. Here's my quick assesment of the game: Florida is a very good, not great team. I don't think there were any truly great teams this year, and the bowl season proved that both the SEC and Big 12 were likely overrated as conferences this year.

    Oklahoma dominated Florida in the first half, and should have been up at least 10 points. I knew when they blew those two opportunties to score that Florida would prevail . . . And they wore them down w/ speed and strength in the second half.

    All in all, tt was a semi-ugly game that cries out for some kind of plus 1 or play-off system in my mind because UT, USC & Utah could all make a reasonable case at a title. At the very least, it showed that Florida and Oklahoma weren't leaps and bounds above at least those 3 schools this year.

    Oh well, it doesn't really matter now, and you've got to give Florida credit for continuing to bring the intensity for the whole game.

     

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