Quick Hit Friday . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Friday, August 29, 2008

"I smell something weird down here. Smells like ya'll been hitting the Devil's lettuce." - Danny McBride, "The Heartbreak Kid"

Since it's Friday, I smell breakfast tacos which is always a nice way to end the week. But before I run to grab two tacos, hot sauce and coffee, let's look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Kim Kardashian was rushed to the emergency room Sunday night after slicing her foot open on a broken mirror in her New York hotel.

The reality star, who was making the publicity rounds in the Big Apple for her big-screen acting debut in next Friday's spoof Disaster Movie, sought treatment at New York Presbyterian Hospital.

It's not known how many stitches she received, but Kardashian told ABC's Good Morning America today she bled so much "it was like a murder scene."

It's a good thing she didn't slice into her ass because that would have looked like a massacre.

Sean Connery launched his autobiography this week as "Being a Scot" looks at Connery's early life as a milkman in Edinburgh's Fountainbridge neighborhood, then delves into a wide-ranging look at Scottish culture including the work of poet Robert Burns, novelist Sir Walter Scott and Mary, Queen of Scots.

Presumably it also includes a chapter on how it feels to be one of the most awesome men on the planet.

Grammy-nominated songwriter Kara DioGuardi will sit alongside Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson when the eighth season of "American Idol" premieres in January, the Fox network said Monday.

"For the past seven seasons, Paula has had to endure the experience of being the only woman at the judges' table," said Mike Darnell, president, alternative programming of Fox, in a statement. "With Kara by her side, Paula has some backup and now there is going to be a lot more `girl power' on the show," Darnell said.

Rumors that DioGuardi's main duties include keeping Abdul from popping prescription pills like Tic Tacs and ensuring that Abdul stops sniffing glue during commercial breaks are rumored, but yet to be confirmed.

It was announced this week that Britney Spears will not attempt a comeback performance at this year's MTV Video Music Awards.

Spears' manager, Larry Rudolph, told Ryan Seacrest on his radio show on Monday that Spears is "in the middle of recording her next album, which is going amazingly well, and was never supposed to perform at the show."

Besides, Spears could never top her heavy-lidded, sedated and largely unrehearsed train wreck from last year.

Charlie Sheen and wife Brooke Mueller announced that Mueller was pregnant this week.

"Brooke and I are thrilled!" Sheen wrote. "She's the best stepmom Sam, Lola and Cassandra could ever hope for. Seeing her love and affection with those three, I know she'll be an amazing mom. Unless I bat 100 percent, perhaps a boy awaits us."

In anticipation of another male Sheen, futures in the high-end prostitution market skyrocketed this week.

In other pregnancy news, Ultimate Fighting legend Tito Ortiz and the world's most famous retired porn star Jenna Jameson confirmed they are expecting their first child.

In an interview with US Magazine, Jenna exclaimed, "Yes, I can confirm I'm pregnant. It's still early, so I'm being cautious. I'm resting as much as possible. I'm so happy!"

Charlie Sheen has already called to congratulate Jameson and schedule future time for playdates for their impending arrivals.

Nicolette Sheridan and Michael Bolton ended their engagement as "the split was amicable," said Nicole Perna, a publicist for the pair.

The 44-year-old actress and 55-year-old singer have been engaged since March 2006. They first started dating in 1992 and spent five years together, Perna said, then rekindled their romance in 2005.

No reason was given for the split, however, several insiders heard multiple drunken fights about "bringing back the mullet" in recent months.

Michael Lohan, Lindsay's father, slammed Lindsay's girlfriend - Samantha Ronson - for being a bad influence.

He tells, "Samantha drinks and passes the drinks under the table to Lindsay, and behind the scenes it gets worse and worse. Sam is using my daughter. My daughter isn't working because she's always with Sam. Even my ex-wife knows it. She just isn't doing anything about it."

Michael Lohan later added " . . . And worst of all, Ronson is a pretty damn ugly."

We never end with ugliness around here, and instead, we'll focus on a gold image such as:

Black and White had been dominating this section for awhile, so a little color felt like a solid change of pace. So, don't be afraid to go bold in the bedroom, be on the lookout for colorful characters and . . . Happy Friday and Labor Day Weekend!



  1. Who's the heroin addict in that Lindsay Lohan photo?

  2. Heff Says:
  3. Yes, it's a good thing Kim didn't cut her ass. That would be one gash that wouldn't make her any money.

    I'm going to pass on Sean Connery's book in favor of Roger Moore, who also released a book recently, and sounds more interesting.

    If Paula Abdul indeed is kept off pills, Hell, I've got NO reason to watch Idol anymore.

    I'm still praying for another Britney trainwreck. The world (me personally) really needs to see that.

    Prepare for the Sheen Father/Son discount night at your local brothel !

    I'm curious to if the Ortiz/Jameson kid will kick ass, or just be spackled with plastic surgery. Perhaps both.

    Bolton & Sheridan need to just get married. They obviously can't stop bangin' each other for very long. (intentionally ignoring mullet joke).

    Father Lohan knows best ! Lindsay should pick a better looking lesbian !

    And in closing, the black and white shots had a very artistic feel to them, but "COLOR ME WHORE-KNEE !!"

    - Heff out. Have an awesome long weekend, 2BUCK !

  4. WhatIgot - Sam Ronson - some DJ and more importantly known as Lindsay Lohan's girlfriend right now. She doesn't look healthy.

    HEff - I appreciate the attention to detail. I would actually like to see a sliced Kim rump shot, Connery's would win if you were Scottish I guess, I bet on both on the Ortiz/Jenna baby, completely agree about Lohan, I will be moving back to BW on the last shot next week but this one was too good to pass up and I believe Bolton's popularity never recovered once he cut it. Have a hell of a good weekend.

  5. nobich Says:
  6. nice post & Happy Friday!!!

  7. wigsf Says:
  8. That's a woman!

  9. Nobich - Thank you & have a great long weekend yourself.

    WhatIgot - You better believe it.

  10. I'm personally bummed that Spears will NOT be performing. Her only value (to me) nowadays is those train wrecks. And, I'm kinda bored with Amy Winehouse.

    Do you follow those tacos/hot sauce and coffee with a Tums Chaser?

    GO SEE Tropic Thunder! The 17 year old boy in me had a marvelous time. A new classic.

    And, have a fabulous Labor Day Weekend.

  11. Wendy Says:
  12. What the hell is stupid Michael Lohan thinking by saying that his ex-wife "isn't doing anything" about Lindsay's relationship with Samantha? What is she supposed to do? Lindsay is an adult. It's pretty obvious that father Lohan is just worried about the paycheck. Gagh. I hate parents who push their kids into the limelight, then try to take it for themselves.

  13. Anonymous Boxer - I would have liked to see it as well because for some reason I've seen most of her VMA performances over the years despite rarely seeing much of the broadcasts. My stomach is fairly cast-iron, so I can generally handle the combo & it's a fine hangover cure. Finally, I'm off to see 'Thunder' tomorrow, so I am looking forward to it. Have a great, long weekend.

    Wendy - It's been obvious about the paycheck for that family for a long time, but just wait until he comes out with a slapped-together book and then the real outrage will come. Ha.

  14. BostonPobble Says:
  15. Would you please tell me who the hell Kim Kardashian is and why I should care? I'm counting on you, $$, 'cause I know you are omnipotent when it comes to all things pop culture.

    Also, I've always been a fan of Jenna Jameson. Hope she's as happy as she seems.

    Sean Connery is up there in terms of cool with David Bowie, Morgan Freeman and Bono ~ who I'm not a huge fan of but I gotta give him credit for the coolness factor.

    (And let's just not think too hard about the fact that I can't tell you who this Kardashian person is but *do* know the porn star.)

  16. JLee Says:
  17. I think Danny McBride is hysterical and I loved him in "Pineapple Express" and "Tropic Thunder". He seems to be on a good roll, but I've never seen "The Heartbreak Kid" Maybe a rental.

    Anyway, have a great Labor Day weekend. I am partial to the holiday since I was born on it (at least that year, many many years ago ;)

  18. American Idol doesn't need more girl power. American Idol needs to go away. I feel very strongly about this.

  19. And Anonymous Boxer has a 17 year old boy in her? Should we alert the authorities, or let this one slide?

    (Sorry, AB, I had to)

  20. Native Minnow - yeah, I agree. I kinda handed it to you.

  21. Miss Ash Says:
  22. Am I the only one who has not heard of Kara DioGuardi? Oh wait, I don't watch that shitty show anyway so who cares!!

    Happy long weekend!

  23. BostonPobble - I agree about Connery as he is one cool guy. As for Kim, she got famous for being one of Paris Hilton's clubbing pals and then for a sex tape that came out featuring her and some guy named Ray-J or something. Now, she has a reality show on E!, which I've never watched. Whew. Hope that helps and now I feel bad that I know all that (and everybody knows Jenna, so don't feel bad on that one).

    Jlee - Then you should have a great Labor Day weekend/celebration! Enjoy & happy birthday. And I like McBride as well and he was supposedly funny in this little movie called "The Foot Fist Way" which comes out on DVD soon.

    Native Minnow - I agree about 'Idol' as I can't believe it is still so popular. It does nothing for me at all. And nice catch on AB as that one was put up on a tee & needed to be hit. Ha.

    Anonymous Boxer - Ha. Sometimes we serve them up too easily, eh?

    Miss Ash - Don't feel bad as I have no idea who she is either, although I think I read that she was a Grammy-award winning songwriter or sometihng similar. Have a great weekend yourself.

  24. Gypsy Says:
  25. ......Gypsy comes rushing in out of breath and full of apologies and contrition for being late AGAIN...

    Sean Connery...sigh...if only I was 30 years wait, who cares? He's the sexiest man alive and I'd let him hang his kilt on my bedpost any day of the week. Ha.

    Michael Lohan is concerned about Sam (is that really a woman???) using his daughter. I think that gravy train has already left the station Dad so quit your bitching and find someone else to hook your caboose too.

    Great QHF B and if I may just respond to a couple of comments....

    Heff you're a legend. Boxer I never once had carnal thoughts about the 17 year old boy comment but then my mind doesn't work like Minnows and that's a blessed relief. Minnow: you're warped but I love you.

  26. Linda Says:
  27. Who cares about Kardashian's ass, I wish that was a better shot of those Louboutin shoes. Thanks for the vintage Connery photo *sigh* Danny McBride seems to be the new "it" boy in summer comedies, I'm becoming a fan. Happy Friday (though I'm a day late) : )

  28. JLee Says:
  29. I saw that "Fist/Foot Way" preview and it looks pretty funny. I'm actually taking it easy because my b-day falls next weekend (Friday) so I'm gearing up for that ;)

  30. JLee Says:
  31. ..."Foot Fist Way" that is. ha

  32. vivavavoom Says:
  33. wow...I missed a week of entertainment with the DNC here. nice to catch up. 2 did that mirror break in Kim Kardashians room? and who doesn't realize Lohan is headed for rehab this next year. poor bicurious girl. Dj's a great influence fresh out of rehab, I hear they keep great hours!

  34. Gypsy - You made it with no problem this week as the weekend is extended for us in the States. Ha. And you can always respond to other commments around here & I like yr. Kilt on the bedpost line. Good stuff.

    Linda - I agree about McBride, and so far, I like but don't love him (I've yet to see Tropic Thunder & Foot Fist though). Hope your Labor Day weekend is going well.

    Jlee - Smart move & I was pretty sure the day was not over Labor Day weekend, but I am horrible at remembering birthdays (even though I am generally excellent with other personal information) and so I figured I'd cover myself by extending it early. Ha. As for Foot Fist, I'm pretty sure it's out no DVD this month.

    Vivavavoom - You've got a great excuse for missing out, and I hope the events/days/speeches were excellent in person. I wonder if you were there for the Thursdday night finale? Anyway, I agree about the hours as it seems like a slippery slope for Lindsay and who knows about Kim as the possibilities are endless. ha.


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