"Now, that is a big trunk. It holds a tuba, a suitcase, a dead dog, and a garment bag almost perfectly." - Tobey Maguire, "Wonder Boys"
It seems like a slow week in Hollywood, and not simply because I was stranded in all-day meetings which caused me to fall behind on the news front. This happens during the summer when it's too hot to get into too much trouble. Let's hope the winds change soon, but in the meantime, a few things did occur such as:
Cynthia Rodriguez filed for divorce from baseball star Alex Rodriguez alleging infidelity and other "marital misconduct." Madonna was at the center of the divorce controversy as rumors swirled of an affair between her and Alex Rodriguez as well as converting him to the Kaballah religion.
Madonna, who says she knows the Yankee slugger because they have the same manager, has denied being involved in the athlete's split, saying "I have nothing to do with the state of his marriage or what spiritual path he may choose to study." 
Somehow I bet that 'spiritual path' led straight to Madonna's bed and that A-Rod hit a home run with her. But that's purely speculation.
Britney Spears began shooting a video performance this week for Madonna’s upcoming “Sticky and Sweet” tour, E! Online reports.
In what is being dubbed as a “short movie,” Spears reportedly enters an elevator disguised with a gray hoodie sweatshirt. As the elevator races up, Spears begins to pace back and forth before breaking into a frenzy, smacking the walls and staring into a camera before exclaiming: “It’s Britney, bitch.”
There's no word whether it was the Muzak or Madonna's music which drove Spears crazy behavior in the elevator, but then again, that's a pretty short trip regardless of the soundtrack.
Oscar-winner Nicole Kidman gave birth on Monday to her first biological child, a daughter named Sunday fathered by her husband and country music star Keith Urban.
"Earlier this morning, Nic gave birth to our beautiful baby girl, Sunday Rose Kidman Urban," Urban announced on his Web site.
Since the birth occurred on a Monday and the baby's name is Sunday, it's obvious that there was no clock or calendar in the delivery room.
Matthew McConaughey's girlfriend, Camila Alves, gave birth their first child Monday night, although the baby's name has yet to be released.
An inside source says McConaughey simply cannot decide between calling their son "Bro," "Buddy" or "Tubular."
Weeks after giving birth to daughter Maddie Briann, Jamie Lynn Spears showed off the newborn on the cover of OK! Magazine where she discussed memories of a "perfect" delivery and her longing to be a Southern soccer mom.
She also said Lynne Spears is a hands-on grandma.
"Mama has been here a bunch," she said. "She wants to see the baby all the time. She told me the doctors are always going to be real strict and tell you, `Don't do this and don't do that.' Just follow your instincts. You're the mother and you know what your baby needs. That's what I've done and it seems to have worked."
Yes - Lynne Spear's parenting work with Britney and Jamie has worked like gangbusters up to this point.
A little more than one week after it began, the divorce trial of Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook has come to a sudden end after the warring exes reached a settlement Thursday morning, a source close to the case confirms to PEOPLE.
Earlier in the week, a court-appointed psychiatrist said that Brinkley should get custody of her two youngest children — but she and her narcissistic husband both need therapy. Dr. Stephen Herman, questioned by the children's attorney, Theresa Mari, said the former Sports Illustrated model needs therapy as "an outlet for her anger and feeling of betrayal" by her unfaithful husband.
"I'm not sure I'm a huge fan of psychotherapy. I believe there are other ways to deal with this," Brinkley testified later. But she added that she "would do whatever it takes to convince the court" to grant her custody, even if it means going to therapy.
Just call me Dr. BDS, Christie, and I'll even reduce my rates for the sake of helping people, which is what I do.
As always, let's end with a gold image:
I hate it when you can't bind somebody's hands and leave the room without them trying to alter the foreplay. So, don't turn your back on anyone today, remind yourself to never neglect a naked partner and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
Wow. You covered all the joke bases quite well, and basically left me nothing ! Have a good weekend, BDS.
Does nobody name their kids normal names anymore? How about Mark or Susan or Robert or Frank or Judy? What's wrong with those names? No, we gotta get Sunday and Apple and Moon Unit.
But a kid named Bro would be funny coming from Matthew Mc(not gonna try to spell it).
You mean there's a well-known sports figure who cheats on his wife? OMIGOD!
Seriously, man, why is everyone surprised by this?
I'm more interested in what Madonna meant by "spiritual path." Has A-Rod been seen wearing one of those red bracelets?
Yeah, I'm kinda pulling up stupid with any comment today, so I'll just say "Happy Friday" and glad you made it out alive this week ;)
I'm going to go ahead and guess that C-Rod is going to do quite well for herself in the divorce proceedings. Unless of course he made her sign a pre-nup.
Wendy - So far, I don't believe a red bracelet is in play, however, I bet it's only a matter of time. And the whole thing is not shocking (as you mentioned), and generally boring to me. We'll see if that changes.
Jlee - Don't worry - these things happen. Ha. I appreciate the survival sentiment & have a great weekend.
Native Minnow - I bet that you're right. So far, I think (think) I read that there was a pre-nup, but that possibly she was trying to get around it due to cheating by A-Rod or something. I might be very wrong. Regardless, I bet she'll come out the other end with some cash.
If an old battleaxe like Madonaa can have a crack at that A-Rod guy do you think I would be in with a shot? He's delish.
I actually raised my eyebrows over that last shot this week. I wasn't quite sure what I was going to see for a second.
OK I always have to tell you my favourite line and this week it's this little gem:
Yes - Lynne Spear's parenting work with Britney and Jamie has worked like gangbusters up to this point.
You crack me up B. Have a great weekend.
I'm in my own version of meetings this week, which means working in the shop to push krap out.... make sure your wife visits our favorite high-end department store for "Anniversary" to buy cosmetics! Especially mascara. Please. It will keep this little plastics co. in biz.
Other than that, I needed a little comic relief, so thanks.
Have a great weekend.
Matthew Mctoolonglastnamecan't spell's kid is named Levi...very fitting I think.
I guess it is nice Britney has some work to do. And australia's toilets run backwards so maybe their weekdays do to, and in their mind it was a sunday. Still I think if it had to be a week day, I would choose friday over sunday. TGIF!!
Gypsy - Glad to see you made it around this QHF. Ha. I've always liked the term battleaxe, and agree about that last shot as it's a bit strange yet I still like it (and it's difficult to find enough good ones out there too). Have a great weekend around your side of the world.
Anonymous Boxer - You sounded busy, so I'm glad you were able to stop by QHF. I wish you all the luck available, but my wife is completely buried under a mound of bar exam material currently and I doubt she'll make it out. I did see the anniversary sale as I got a mailer & I might go, however, I won't be buying any mascara this time. Sorry. Maybe as a gift . . . now there's a thought. Have a great weekend if possible.
Vivavavoom - Thanks as I saw that today now that I've crawled out of my hole. As you noted, it does seem fitting for Matt. I agree about Friday as it feels like a hell of a long week. Enjoy your weekend.
Smart women derserve overpackaged and overpriced cosmetics that are expensive due to excessive marketing budgets. :-) Buy her a present.
Fine. I don't wear it either. But don't tell them.
Offering Ms. Brinkley your services at a reduced rate is rather myopic. Start your own cult!
It must:
1) Be a spin-off of an existing religion to add that touch of gravitas.
2) Not require that self-absorbed immoral celebrities change anything about their lives.
3) Be something that only "special" people get.
4) Offer great "spiritual" rewards to those who give large cash donations.
Just resurfacing from a weekend that started on Thursday (woohoo!) Love Wonderboys, should rent it to reacquaint myself with those lovely men! I love how all these celebrity philanderers, with multiple indiscretions, just shrug their shoulders and say "what?!?!?" Creepy dudes in my book. Hope it was a good weekend....
Anonymous Boxer - Your secret will remain right here, and I agree about your assertion concerning smart women, so consider it a done deal.
TheTroll - This is a wise case that you've laid out here. I think finding that fine line between the necessary gravitas and pure malarky needed to grasp those large checks needed for spiritual enlightenment is something I'll have to ponder. But all yr. rules seem spot-on, especially #2.
Linda - I love both the novel and the movie for "Wonder Boys." I bought it last year, and would definitely recommend it. I saw a couple of flicks this weekend too, and plan to review them tomorrow. Hope your weekend went well, and I like your term "celebrity philanderers" as that seemed to be the theme of the week. ha.
Another great QHF - saves me having to read any gossip sites!
Cxx
Claire - Thanks & I think we could all use some time savings, so I'm glad to help. Ha.
LOL... I love your round-ups! Particularly the Sunday/Monday confusion :)