"You still hungry? Then feast on that," - Mark Wahlberg, "Boogie Nights" 
I watched this movie again earlier this week, and it's pretty damn hilarious even when things get dark during the 80s. But let's ignore the dark side of human nature today as the weather is great in Austin, I feel strong enough to push through my workload, however, I can't even begin until the major stories of the week have been addressed like:
Heidi Klum jumped on the Help Britney Spears bandwagon this week as the 34-year-old model says she'd be willing to open her home to Spears while the troubled pop singer puts her life back together.
"She can call me and come live in our house with us for a couple of months," said Klum. "I would help set her straight."
Unfortunately, Klum's invitation does not extend to non-celebrities based out of the Austin-area as my calls for help have gone unanswered by the Victoria's Secret model.
KISS star Gene Simmons is angry after a video allegedly showing him having sex with a model was posted on the Internet.
The rocker, who has been dating long-term partner Shannon Tweed for over 20 years, is alleged to have made the tape while carrying out promotional duties as a spokesman for Frank's Energy Drink.
The winner is all of this is obviously Frank's Energy Drinks because I doubt Simmons would have had the stamina he displays without aid from the beverage in question.
Pictures of Lindsay Lohan playing Marilyn Monroe between the sheets – literally – were released in the new spring fashion issue of New York magazine this week. Recreating Monroe's legendary 1962 final photo shoot for Bert Stern with the veteran lensman himself, Lohan said the nudity didn't bother her.
"I was comfortable with it," said Lohan, 21 – though Lindsay did admit to having done "250 crunches" the night before the shoot. 
If Lohan is the best modern-day equivalent to Marilyn Monroe that we could find, then I think we should all be worried about the utter dilution of the planet's talent pool.
Kirstie Alley and Jenny Craig ended their weight loss relationship this week, but the one-time "Fat Actress" isn't giving up on the industry itself.
"After lengthy negotiations, regretfully the Jenny Craig Company and I did not come to an agreement to continue as their spokesperson," Alley said in a statement posted on People Magazine's Web site Tuesday.
Alley said she intends to develop her own weight-loss brand with plans to launch in 2009 "to create something new that will help millions of people end the seemingly never ending fatty-roller coaster ride."
In response, Jenny Craig called Alley "a large woman with no willpower, and we're better off without her," a stance that I felt was somewhat petty.
In other weight loss news, a company suing Jessica Simpson and her manager dad, Joe, over blocking the release of a fitness tape she made is saying, "they are hurting millions of fat people in America," the New York Post reported.
The "Dukes of Hazzard" star made the video in 2005, but despite signing a multimillion-dollar contract with Speedfit, she later nixed the release by not giving final approval, the Post reported.
The suit made no mention of the millions of people who's ears have been impacted by her over-the-top singing theatrics as they focused solely on the stomach region.
Celebrity bounty hunter Duane "Dog" Chapman is set to return to television after his reality TV show was pulled from the air three months ago in a controversy over his use of a racial slur, cable channel A&E said on Tuesday.
The revamped series will focus on Chapman's ambassador role in upcoming meetings of the United Nations council.
Pink and motocross racer Carey Hart have separated after two years of marriage it was announced this week.
"This decision was made by best friends with a huge amount of love and respect for one another," Pink's representative, Michele Schweitzer, said Tuesday in a statement. "While the marriage is over, their friendship has never been stronger."
Hart's representative stated that the marriage is over because "ironically enough, Pink has a cold, Black heart."
But let's not end with divorce and decay as we'll focus on the positive with this image: 
I love whipped cream and using the bathroom, but I rarely mix the two pleasures. This picture, however, makes me reconsider this stance, so get outside your comfort zone, don't be afraid to combine odd mixtures and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
I don't care how hot that chick is, the toilet is a sacred place and not to be defiled with sex and raunch. However, if she was sitting atop a mechanical bull...
Wow. YOU scooped me ! I hadn't even heard of the Gene Simmons video. Now if I can just go without SEEING it...
Are Lindsay's boobs real because I don't remember them being THAT voluptuous. She is definitely no MM that's for sure.
This whole Britney saga is getting totally out of control, probably even more so over in the States than it is here. She is her own worst enemy but the paparazzi have a lot to answer for as well. Poor kid.
Can't we have a yummy male for the feel good ending? Just once....pretty please with a big fat strawberry on top.
That final pic is a disturbing combination of hot and gross. It would be pure hot if the toilet seat were *down.* Yeesh.
Gene Simmons is icky. His SON, however, is freakin' GORGEOUS. Ech, do I sound like a pervy old woman?
WhatIgot - I remember just how highly you hold the toilet it terms of esteem. Ha. But yes, a bull would be better.
Heff - Man, you should have been up on Gene Heff. Ha. I just saw this Wed/Thurs, but haven't actually seen the video itself. You might post about it if you can stand the sight.
Gypsy - There's been rumors about a boob job for LL, but no confirmations. I'm over the Spears saga as well, but she might (might?) be getting a little better. Finally - doubtful on the pic. Very doubtful. Ha.
J - I thought the same thing, but the hot won out for me in the end. That being said, I would make the time to clean up this mess.
Wendy - I've never seen his son, so I can't comment on his looks or your potentially pervertedness (sp?). Ha. But Gene is no prize, so I'm a little surprised his son would be good-looking.
I would love to see the Gene video...I like to torture myself sometimes!
As for Pink and Carey, that's kinda sucky, I liked them together.
seeing that pic of gene simmons just reaffirms my believe that watching an old man get it on is just plain GROSS, YO!!
contemplating gouging out my eyes,
Hootch
Im sorry but food and lavatories just do not work for me. Ugh! All those germs...
Weird but good post. Which happens to be the Mute Monday theme. My instincts tell me Lohan's boobage is natural. Fakes are usually higher and firmer. She looks better in these two than in the other one I've seen.
Miss Ash - You must be masochistic if you want to see Gene in Action. Ha. Actually, I'm curious myself in a morbid way.
Idig - At least it was in Black and white, eh? Small favors. And yes, there's always that point of no return (it's different for everyone) when you really, really don't look good naked.
Havingmycake - In general, I agree with you. But sometimes, you have to make exceptions. I think of a really posh club where the bathrooms are like cathedrals, in which case it can be pretty damn excellent (and bring on the whipped cream too).
Troll - Weird, but good is what I usually try to go for, so thanks for that. And I will definitely be by to check out your MM as I'm behind, and that category will definitely be interesting. As for Lohan, you might be right as I thought they would sit higher on her chest as well because I thought she had a boob job.
Is Gene Simmons really wearing a t-shirt during sex? And Boogie Nights? One of my all time favorites... I might have to dust that off again.
off subject.... have you tivo'd/watched the History Channel's HISTORY OF A JOKE, with Lewis Black? MUST SEE!
Happy Friday.
Who cares if they're real. Look at her! Wow
Anonymous Boxer - I think so on Simmons, which is probably a wise choice as he almost certainly looks better with his shirt on. As for Boogie Nights - you should - as I recently did the same thing and I loved it. Finally, I just stumbled across that History of the Joke flipping channels last week, but I do need to program it in because I only watched about 5 minutes.
Motocross - She does look pretty good, although I'd still take Monroe (then - not now). As for the real vs. fake, I don't really care either as I'm equal opportunity when it comes to breasts.
I wish Heidi Klum would offer to set me straight.
H. Wood - Ha. Ha. Ha. That is a great Boogie Nights reference that I actually used last night as well at a bar. The movie reminded me this week about that one.
Native Minnow - Yep. Sometimes, it's good to be bad, let the punishment fit the crime, etc. (you get the idea). If Klum is the enforcer, then this philosophy definitely applies.
The winner is definitely Frank Energy Drinks because I've never heard of them until now.
That Lohan shoot is pretty messed up. As a mother of young women in their 20's, I just want to explain to Lindsay why you don't come out of rehab, let someone put you in a bad wig, take your clothes off and get your picture taken. What a disaster, I feel badly for her. OK, off my soapbox. I too love the Boogie Nights, good choice! Happy Friday!
Mr. DNA - That's what I thought too because there's a million energy drinks out there - but not all of them can get Gene Simmons to screw.
Linda - Lohan's mother doesn't exactly seem like a model of stability and judgement to me, and never has, so I'm not that surprised by this. I saw some bizarre comments from her about this shoot, which is pretty much par for course. Happy Friday to you, and Boogie Nights is just one fine film from start to finish.
the best things about that gene simmons video pic you posted is that he has his shirt on and that she has to be face down to do it.
oh yeah....and the last pic actually was a turn off because she looks like she may be going to the bathroom as she has her finger in her mouth. I am sure there is a fetish group for this, but I never want to stumble onto it!!
I have never seen boggie nights but I will check it out because I'm always interested in hilariousness.
Why the hell would Heidi help Brittany. She has children and I would not want Brittany and her never having on any underwear self around my kids or my husband!
BTW...I'm so sorry to hear that your calls to her for help have gone unanswered. That's a bummer!
I totally agree that if Lindsey is the closest equivalent we can find to Marilyn then I give up!
I don't even want to know what was going on in that last picture :-|
Anyhoo....Enjoy your weekend
Vivavavoom - First, I love the nice profile pic. As for Gene, I agreee that shirt was a wise choice, and in general, I'm no fan of water sports, however, I would investigate that last pic further to find out exactly what was going on before I made my decision. I like to be thorough and fair. Always.
Trina - You should definitely rent Boogie Nights as it's funny, got a great soundtrack and a lot of good actors in it. As for Klum, who knows what she's thinking about Britney as maybe she just wanted to talk a little bit of common sense into her. Maybe. Have a good weekend (whatever's left anyway).
i will do you all the not so great of a favor and post gene's video on my site tonight. Ugggh
I don't mind Lindsay much, but I don't think she looks great in those pictures. It's never wise to compare oneself with the likes of Marilyn Monroe... unless you've got a bod like mine ;)
Hehe, I wish.
Upset Waitress - You are a true humanatarian. Ha. Actually, I think if you post that video, you simply want people to suffer.
Grace - The proof is in the pudding. Ha. So to speak. I agree about comparing yourself to Monroe because that's a pretty tough icon to stand up against.