Blog Archive

The Perfect Breakfast . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Monday, February 18, 2008

"Breakfast is the only meal of the day that I tend to view with the same kind of traditionalized reverence that most people associate with Lunch and Dinner. I like to eat breakfast alone, and almost never before noon; anybody with a terminally jangled lifestyle needs at least one psychic anchor every twenty-four hours, and mine is breakfast. In Hong Kong, Dallas or at home — and regardless of whether or not I have been to bed — breakfast is a personal ritual that can only be properly observed alone, and in a spirit of genuine excess.

The food factor should always be massive: four Bloody Marys, two grapefruits, a pot of coffee, Rangoon crepes, a half-pound of either sausage, bacon, or corned beef hash with diced chiles, a Spanish omelette or eggs Benedict, a quart of milk, a chopped lemon for random seasoning, and something like a slice of Key lime pie, two margaritas, and six lines of the best cocaine for dessert….

Right, and there should also be two or three newspapers, all mail and messages, a telephone, a notebook for planning the next twenty-four hours and at least one source of good music…. All of which should be dealt with outside, in the warmth of a hot sun, and preferably stone naked." - Hunter S. Thompson

An absolute reverence for breakfast is one of the strongest shared perspectives I have with Dr. Thompson.

Luckily, the weather was perfect yesterday in Austin, and I was able to accomplish nearly the entire list sans cocaine, which I've never found to be a particularly enjoyable drug and especially not with breakfast.

It started around 10:30 a.m. on my rooftop deck. The sun was shining and there was little to no wind with a temperature near 70 degrees.

The menu consisted of: 3 egg omlette with onions & green peppers & salsa & cheese, 3 strips of turkey bacon, 2 sausage patties, hash browns, 2 pieces of toast, 1 small croissant with homemade strawberry jelly (via grandmother), 1 grapefruit, 1 slice of Banana Nut Cake, 1 dark chocolate rasberry square, 1 large pot of Kona coffee, 1 glass of orange juice, 1 glass of milk, a Sigg-bottle full of water, a small bottle of Baileys, and two newspapers - the Austin-American Statesman and the New York Times.

It was damn near ideal as I got to indulge in a long, quiet breakfast with an entire day ahead of me.

Now, I can only think back on the greatness as it's Monday morning, the weather is still holding firm, but I'm chewing on a protein bar and drinking weak coffee from the break room at work.

I should have called in sick.



  1. What? You have to work on President's Day like the rest of America? Well accept for teachers, bankers, and government employees.

  2. Gypsy Says:
  3. I love your deck and what a perfect place to sit back, relax and indulge in a lovely breakfast. Two pieces of toast with grilled cheese and a cup of tea is about all I can manage for my first meal of the day and that is usually eaten on the run. I like your way better but maybe about 1/4 of what you mentioned to eat. And I thought I had a hearty appetite :)

  4. Heff Says:
  5. Great. Now I'm starving. Thanks alot, asshole !

  6. Upset Waitress - Maybe if I were President of my company, I could claim the day off. Unfortunately, I'm not. And I get no mail today either.

    Gypsy - The deck was a major selling point for me too. It's about 500 sq. feet and I still need to put some plants up there. As for breakfast, I usually only indulge like that maybe one time per weekend (or every other week), but it's always worth it. Ha.

    Heff - Then you can make the excuse to head to a breakfast joint, and take off work. You should be thanking me.

  7. j Says:
  8. Sundays are among my favorite days for several reasons, one of which is the opportunity to really go for it breakfast-wise. Brunch is a many-splendored thing.

  9. Benedict - ahhhh - here in the PNW I get it with crab - ahhhhh. I love a big old breakfast on Sundays with the NYT.

    I should have called in sick too, but I must admit... it's nice and quiet. A good day to get things done,

    or screw around and read blogs?

  10. J - Definitely. On all accounts, it can be a fine day to indulge, especially when the weather cooperates. There's something decadent about the whole thing if done properly.

    Anonymous Boxer - Yep. But we both must live with our choices, eh? Unfortunately, I can look out from my desk and see the beautiful day outside, and not even blogs are keeping my head completely straight. Ha. Finally, I like crab too as there's a good brunch place that does it up well. I, however, do not.

  11. a good breakfast is my favorite meal of the day. I remember trips to Vegas intentionally trying to stay awake all night so I wouldn't miss the breakfast buffet.

  12. Miss Ash Says:
  13. You don't fuck around do you LOL!!

    The weather looks lovely, as my view is rather wet, snowy and cold as hell. Though I have today off as it's a new Statutory Holiday they've dubbed "Family Day".

  14. Idig - Those all-night Vegas nights can only be faced with a great breakfast buffet, and then a long, dirty sleep until you do it all over again.

    Miss Ash - Not with breakfast. Ha. At least not on the weekends when the mood strikes me. We all have our standards, eh? But what is this Family Day? That sounds completely manufactured, but great as I would love to be off today.

  15. Mr. DNA Says:
  16. You should give cocain another chance.
    It would give you a second chance if the roles were reversed.

  17. Breakfast is the greatest meal of the day. If I were king, i'd have it three times a day.

    Unfortunetely, I could only sneak a couple of fresh oatmeal cupcakes for my breakfast today.

  18. Mr. DNA - A compelling argument. But what about a fifth, sixth and seventh chance? I'm not so sure, but then again, if you've got the money and the time, it's very generous.

    WhatIgot - They weren't Little Debbies were they? Maybe they don't even have those things in Canada, although they're actually not half-bad (once every year or two). And if I were King, lots of things would change. Power corrupts.

  19. Melissa Says:
  20. The only thing I might possibly have added to that bounty was a biscuit with sausage gravy and a bellini.

  21. vivavavoom Says:
  22. oh mouth actually watered!! and my guess is Hunter S. Thompson was so drugged up most of the time that he always missed breakfast. But I like his version very much!

  23. Miss Ash Says:
  24. And I'm taking nutrition advice from you.....this scares me haha!

    It's some new holiday as the gov't felt there was too much work time between Christmas and Easter apparently. I'm all for it....though I was forced to attend a family dinner.

  25. Linda Says:
  26. "bacon has been learning some new tricks.

    The latest comes from the free-range artisans at D'Artagnan, who have just unveiled their line of heritage bacons, with boar leading the pack as the leaner choice"

    Read this on Urbandaddy NYC and thought of this post. A little boar bacon with those eggs? Yikes!

  27. H.Wood Says:
  28. Hunters S. knew how to live, and die. R.I.P.

  29. Melissa - The biscuits and gravy would have been a good addition, atlhough I can't make the gravy which is key in that equation.

    Vivavavoom - It was a mouth-watering experience for me, so I'm glad that sentiment was conveyed. And I think Thompson's general breakfast hour was about 3 or so in the afternoon, which meant he could have slept off most of the drinking and drugging from the night before.

    Miss Ash - Great holiday, and I agree there needs to be something in there even if it means taking a family dinner here and there. As for the diet, I would quantify my breakfast with the caveat that I ate nearly perfectly 5 days out of the week, hit the gym 5 days of the week and before that food orgy ran 3 miles to try to counterbalance a little bit. Besides, we all need a little balance, eh? Ha.

    H. Wood - Agreed. Well, definitely on the living part as I wish he were still around, so maybe the latter I wouldn't get completely behind.

  30. Linda - Don't know how I missed you as I thought as this boar bacon last night after you mentioned it. I actually had wild boar sausage in Italy a few years ago, and it was delicious. So, I would definitely give this bacon a try. Why not?


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