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Bathing With The Drunken Viking (Super Bowl Edition) . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Monday, February 04, 2008

{This is the sixteenth in a recurring series that will only happen when I have consumed far too many spirits with my brother. Last night, more than a few bottles of Samuel Adams were consumed which triggered strange thoughts, candid insights and pure horseshit. Selah.}

* There's no such thing as an ex-stripper

* It's not a Super Bowl "party" unless there are at least 12 guests with 1/3 being female. Otherwise, it's simply 3 guys sitting around a bowl of congealing Queso dip.

* Always blame a married guy for fouling up the host's toilet at a viewing party.

* There should be no sushi consumed at a Super Bowl party.

* The game itself was fairly boring for three quarters, however, the fourth quarter made up for the early pace and proved once again that it's how you finish that matters.

* As for the commercials, two of my favorites were the Audi R8 ad with an homage to "The Godfather," and the Pepsi one with Justin Timberlake. The first was simply because the car gives me an erection, and the latter because I tend to enjoy watching Timberlake being pummelled and kicked in the crotch.

* Per usual, there were also a slew of animal-themed commercials. The Doritos ad with the giant attacking rat and the Budweiser Clydesdale-in-training were the best ones with the Life Water dancing animated salamanders among the worst. Regarding the salamanders, I just didn't see why a sip of the beverage would cause them to dance to the Michael Jackson song "Thriller."

* I'm sure some people found the E*Trade commercials to be cute, however, I find talking babies with large vocabularies to be creepy.

* Life is too short to ever be caught drinking a Zima.

* Be wary of a man whose hands are too soft.

* With the end of football season, generally abysmal weather and the manufactured nonsense of Valentine's Day, February is the most worthless month of the year.

* "There can't be good living where there is not good drinking." - Ben Franklin



  1. Anonymous Says:
  2. - But there is such a thing as old skanky broads though; and they should cover the eff up.
    - There should be no sushi consumed.
    - Admit it, during the Pepsi commercial, it moved, didn't it?
    - What exactly is Zima?

  3. Ahem on the Zima. It's the "Bartel and James" of this generation. Banish it!

    LOVE the Drunken Viking!

  4. j Says:
  5. The Obama commercial was my favorite, though I was only half paying attention the rest of the time (I definitely did not achieve the definition of party).

  6. WhatIgot - Yes but under right lighting . . . , agreed, just saw the Seinfeld where this came up and no it didn't, and it's a horrible malt beverage that you're better off not knowing about. There's plenty of good stuff to drink.

    Anonymous Boxer - Banish it indeed. I would make exactly such a decree, atlthough it seems to have declined in popularity. And the Drunken Viking is all about the Love. Ha.

  7. J - Missed you in Cyberspace. I didn't see that Obama ad, and have no idea how I missed it. I did see it off your link, so thanks for putting it up.

  8. The guy with soft hands is probably the one who clogged the toilet.

  9. Heff Says:
  10. Not quite sure how to take the "ex-stripper" statement, 2 Dollar. I live with - let's say - "inside information" on the matter. I can see both truths and falsehoods in that statement.

  11. True about the "ex-stripper" bit. They're always a $20 away from shoving their tits in your face.

  12. cats Says:
  13. i fell asleep during half time becaue i was busy taking care of a sick kid, who in turn got me sick.

    i did see the dancing lizards and wondered the same thing, but i think the drink is called "thrill"-something or other.

  14. Native Minnow - You're probably right. Ha. Never trust those bastards.

    Heff - Good point. Sometimes, I have no problem deferring to someone with inside knowledge, which it sounds like you have. It sounds like a gray area to me.

    Idig - You're an expert in this matter as well - at least it sounds like it from your blog. I wish $20 was all it took across the board. Selah.

  15. Cats - Missed you in Cyberspace (doing that a lot today). That's the worst part about caring for anyone sick is that they pass it onto you. Ha. Feel better & thanks for the Thrill bit as I missed the name entirely. If that's the case, then I vaguely get it. But I still didn't love it.

  16. BostonPobble Says:
  17. Hell, the Audi R8 gives *me* an erection.

  18. Miss Ash Says:
  19. What's a viewing party?

    I watched a bit of the game but then started to pre pack for my trip. I was surrounded in clothing hell for hours as "sweater" weather during the day and 5 degrees in the evening means nothing to me.

  20. Bostonpobble - Ha. I have no doubt as the car is so powerful it transcends gender. Beautiful.

    Miss Ash - It's fairly typical to have a bunch of people over to someone's place to watch the Super Bowl. Usually, there is loads of food and booze and shenangians (sp?). As for your trip, win big and the weather means it's fairly pleasant in the day but cold at night (at least it does to me). But in the casinos, the temperature is always just fine. Good luck.

  21. BostonPobble Says:
  22. And you're kinda-sorta tagged over at mine.

  23. nobich Says:
  24. Giants!! (Of course you realize people were nuts over here in Jersey)

  25. Bostonpobble - Then I will be be back over to accept it as I have a streak to keep intact. Ha. Thanks.

    Nobich - Congrats. They deserved to win, and I bet there were some crazy celebrations going on (and maybe still are).

  26. vivavavoom Says:
  27. I agree about the baby thing. creeps me out and man, you pay people to come up with that....crazy!!

    but that 4th quarter was one of the best i have ever seen!

  28. Why should it always be assumed that the married guy jacked up the toilet? haha
    Please don't tell me someone actually attempted to serve sushi.
    I am also quite into cars and the right one has a tendency to make me wet.
    What's wrong with Zima? haha
    I wanna say Amen to that last comment

  29. Vivavavoom - Agreed on both fronts. Talking babies I can do without and I'm sure that cost millions of dollars to come up with. But great 4th quarter.

    Trinabeingtrina - Amen indeed as that was one wise man. Ha. And if you like cars, then you have to dig the R8 - I know I do. Finally, a woman can get by with a Zima, and as for the married guy, you might as well blame the guy who is likely not trying to score. Ha.

  30. Grace Says:
  31. I never get to see these infamous "SuperBowl commercials". Although I have no interest in football (I'm purely a hockey chick) I tried tuning in to the game just so that I could see the commercials, but all I'd get are stupid Canadian commercials. Oh well!

  32. Grace - I figured with your hockey interest that it might cross over to other sports. Ha. But the commercial thing is no good because most years they are better than the game itself (though not this year).

  33. Gypsy Says:
  34. I love that pic of you in your viking hat. On that last took me a few seconds to work out what was what. That young lady was definitely at the front of the queue when breasts were being given out.

  35. Gypsy Says:
  36. My apologies....that last pic I was talking about was on the post before. Don't mind me, I have been trying to catch up on all the blogs I haven't read for the past week and I am now delirious.....

  37. Gypsy - Ha. That's OK as I know the feeling when I've had to catch up on blogs, and it can be semi-crazy. You're right about that girl being at the front of the queue as I liked it mainly because it's hard to figure out what you're seeing at first. Ha.

    Glad to see you around.

  38. Blogger Says:
  39. Do you drink Coca-Cola or Pepsi?
    SUBMIT YOUR ANSWER and you could get a prepaid VISA gift card!

  40. Blogger Says:
  41. I've just installed iStripper, so I can have the sexiest virtual strippers on my taskbar.


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