It's Sunday afternoon and there's little to watch and nothing to bet on because no sane person would give you any odds on the NBA All-Star game or the Daytona 500. Besides, I could care less about the All-Star game and NASCAR racing holds all the appeal of a taser gun to the crotch for me.
So, in lieu of working on our new script I decided to read my recently arrived Details magazine, which featured Kevin Federline (a.ka. Mr. Britney Spears) on the cover.
It was late last week that I first heard about his interview on some kind of hard news program like "Extra."
Supposedly, Kevin was a surprisingly thoughtful and articulate fellow according to some "celebrity expert" being interviewed on the show. This seemed strange to me despite the fact that I had never heard him utter a word on television or even read any trace of a thought from Federline in print.
I was basing this viewpoint on virtually no concrete facts, but instead on the seemingly endless supply of pictures featuring him sporting ridiculous combinations of baggy jeans, wife-beaters and NY Yankees baseball caps that were incapable of being worn straight on his head.
After reading the interview, however, while I won't say I was correct in my assumption I certainly wasn't wrong. What emerged was the portrait of a young man as a dancing artist, and as a bonus, Britney Spears showed up to help Kevin with some colorful quotes.
Here's some of my favorites:
On What He Did Before Dancing:
KF: Nothing. Shit. I was delivering pizzas and up to no good.
On meeting and falling in love with Britney:
KF: Shit, it just happened to be that she had everything and then some. Shit, I could go on forever about my love for this girl.
On Spear's supporting him (personal note: emotionally of course)
KF: I mean she's fucking proud of me. I could be sitting at home doing nothing. I could be playing fucking video games.
And finally on his future career ambitions:
KF: Shit, well yeah, we're starting a clothing line. We're going to hopefully launch that by the end of summer or Christmastime of next year, or this year.
Shit, it was clear to me that there was more to this Federline guy than I could have possibly imagined.
It's no wonder that Spears seems so determined to have a kid with this guy, but she did acknowledge the problems of children and touring as she cited Celine Dion's show in Vegas as an inspiration.
BS: Everybody comes to her. When I have kids, I'm so there. That's what I'm doing: "Come to me, motherfuckers."
Personally, I just think it's great these two crazy kids found each other because, shit, it's not easy to find an unemployed former dancer who plays video games AND can make and deliver a mean Pepperoni pie.
Not too easy indeed.
-BDS
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