It was the flashing blue and red lights in my rear-view mirror that woke me up this morning. 
Per usual, I was driving to the gym and drinking coffee while still half-asleep. I had just entered the freeway, and instead of merging directly, I sped by the driver going slowly in the right lane before signaling and then cutting over two lanes to the unoccupied middle one before settling into a long straight shot to the gym.
Then I saw the lights in my mirror.
I continued driving, and hoped they were meant for someone else. But they weren’t, so I exited the highway, cursing as I pulled to a stop on a nearby side street. The male cop came to my window with a question as I sat inside kicking myself for not seeing him on the road. 
“What’s the hurry this morning?”
I didn’t say anything, largely because I had no good answer, and because I was still lethargic from sleep.
“I got you going 79 miles an hour in a 65 zone, and you cut across three lanes of traffic,” he continued.
It was only two, however, I let the numerical error lapse without acknowledging it.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I was just trying to merge, and . . . “ I trailed off and held my hands in the air and let everything else drop.
He took my license and registration back to his vehicle. I knew I was doomed. There was no question about it. I was guilty as charged, and dressed in gym clothes that would garner zero sympathy because I obviously wasn’t going somewhere important. It had been almost a decade since my last ticket, and now that streak was about to end. I wondered if I could still take defensive driving since I was going close to 15 miles an hour above the limit.
The cop came back with his pad out, handed me my license and then passed me the ticket – a warning ticket. 
“You drive more carefully,” he said as I thanked him for his leniency and quickly drove away before he had a chance to reconsider.
Maybe it was lack of begging or explaining that helped out. Or maybe it was my relatively clean record or my karma was somehow tipping things in my favor, but I suddenly felt like today might just be one hell of a lucky day. I need to go buy a lottery ticket at lunch to test the theory.
-BDS
“You drive more carefully,” - Hell, who pulled you over - Tonto ?
I hate it for you guys. I live less than 1 mile from my office, and in a town with 1 cop, I have little to worry about.
Jlee - I felt like one lucky bastard as I drove the gym around the posted speed limit. Ha. Whew.
Heff - Man, that is lucky. I used to live about 1.5 miles from where I worked for a few years, and that was great, although there were way more cops in that town than one. Ha. Tonto - that is funny.
It looks like you skipped the part where you flashed the cop your tits.
WIGSF - And cried. A lot.
It's always a good feeling when they let you off with a warning. I hope the lottery ticket pays off as well.
He didn't even pistol whip you a little to really drive home the point? That IS lucky!
I went through a phase in my life not so long ago when I wanted to be a cop. I signed up to take the tests and passed the written. Then came the physical. There were 4 areas that you had to pass - a sit ups test, push ups test, a short run(100meters) and a distance run(2.5mi). We were split into small groups and each group rotated through the tasks. My rotation was Push ups, sprint, distance and sit ups. I passed the first 2 no problem. But I've always been terrible about running any distance and didn't meet the qualifying time for the 2.5 miles. When ever you don't pass, it's an immediate fail and you are sent home. I didn't even get to do the sit ups.
I used to know a cop and he always said that he was more likely to let someone off with a warning if they didn't make excuses. The more the person tried to justify it, the more likely he was to find other ways to ticket them. Still, buy the lottery ticket.
Native Minnow - Fingers crossed, but I also am starting to think that I used up all my luck for today. Ha. We'll see.
Bobby the Blue - That's another reason I wasn't mouthy as a pistol-whip - however minor - is a poor way to start the day. Small favors.
Kmwthay - That sucks, but I bet you could get the time under the limit with a little practice. I'm right there with you though as I stink at any kind of running distance even though playing sports is no problem at all. Strangely enough, I used to be the police reporter for a newspaper I worked at right out of college & was at the police station every single day.
Bostonpobble - Thank you as I was thinking that might have had something to do with it. I figure they get sick of hearing about all the reaons someone was doing something illegal, so my lack of lip (mainly due to being sleepy) might have definitely played a role. Lottery ticket has been purchased.
I've been pulled over twice in my life and have ALWAYS gotten the ticket. Mr. Boxer? He once let a police car clock him and then when he was pulled over told the officer he did it because he thought the speed limit WAS 50 (it was 35.) So, having no proof of insurance and speeding, he got a WARNING. Makes me think this whole idea that women get the warnings is wrong.
Anyhoo, it IS your lucky day Mister. Or, the city of Austin doesn't need the cash. In California, you would have gotten one.
Wise to keep your mouth shut. Last ticket I got, I made the cop show me the radar gun reading. No wonder he gave me an $80 ticket. Silence is golden.
Ha! I totally would have been like "but it was only TWO not THREE!!!" It's a good thing I've only been pulled over once for speeding and I had bigger fish to fry that day so I did not bother contesting.
Goethe of Karma
said: "Providence favors bold."
Read between the lines.
Boxer - I'm starting to wonder if the whole females getting out of tickets thing is an urban legend . . . Ha. And Austin needs the cash like everyone else (though probably not as badly as California), so that was another reason I was surprised there was no ticket. Oh well, no lottery win for me, so it's back to the grind.
Linda - Yeah, I probably would have been more contentious had it been later in the day, and had I not pretty much agreed with his assesment. I think you should have tried to reset the gun when he showed it to you, thus erasing the evidence. Ha.
Miss Ash - What were these bigger fish to fry? Ha. But if you get pulled over the in the futre (let's hope not) that you don't correct their grammar or counting abilities. :)
Haiku Master - Very wise indeed & I can see clearly now . . .