Blog Archive

It's My Party . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Throwing a party is for suckers.

Seriously. It is a poor idea, and a trap where all your time will be swallowed whole and just when you think everything is covered, six more things spring up from the underbelly that require immediate attention as well as more money. Selah.

My wife and I are having people over to the loft on Friday for reasons I can’t entirely remember. One impetus was the painting we had done recently downstairs, and the rest are just vapors at this point. But the important thing is this: They are coming. They is not even that many people (maybe 20), but it’s still enough to dominate my time this week as I’m working on that as much as my actual job.

Yesterday it was picking up the ingredients to make what I’m calling Existential Sangria Wine – so good it will make you question everything.

Today, it’s attempting to make it through Costco for a variety of things including beer, sun dried tomatoes, hummus, Stacy’s Pita Chips and water. And I hate Costco because people wield those massive carts in the most oblivious and foolish ways imaginable and I always feel like running them down like dogs once I’m half-way through the store, yet it’s a necessary evil.

The rest of the week will be spent on sushi trays and cold cuts, ice runs and Ipod mixes, house cleaning and hiding pornography and making sure I get Planet Earth on Blu Ray for background images during the party.

I don’t even like parties. But there’ s no time for that kind of thinking as I’ve got a cup cake order to place and with some luck, I might actually get some work done too.



  1. I hear you. I hate throwing parties too, but I do like attending them. Especially if they're sexy parties. Like the kind Stewie Griffin has.

  2. JLee Says:
  3. Damn. I'm worn out just reading about it. You should have just gotten a 12 pack and some chips and dip. lol Or better yet, make them bring everything ;)

  4. Native Minnow - I agree. They are much better when you're simply attending & get to screw with other people's places & drink their booze. Ha. Will have to research the sexy parties more as there's till time . . .

    Jlee - I feel worn out & over it, but there is still a lot of crap to do. Next time, I'll have them bring far more supplies other than themselves. The bastards. Ha.

  5. Boxer Says:
  6. I with you. My sister and I believe the only reason to have parties (or house guests) is to give a good reason to get your home cleaned up/etc. Still, it's a ton of work which leaves me exhausted and INSISTING I'll never do it again. Ha. It sounds like you've got everything in place and just remember not to drink too much. Or do, because I'm sure we'd all benefit from the after-party-post.

    But Jlee is right, I'm tired after reading your list of "things to do" and made a mental note of NOT hosting the neighborhood party. Thank you for that.

  7. vivavavoom Says:
  8. That sounds like a great party though. I do not throw parties but try to get invited and bring things. I just hate having to be sober enough to be aware of what is going on in my house.

  9. nobich Says:
  10. I hate planning/ having parties because I wind up hating the people I invited. Ha!

  11. Boxer - I agree with you and your sister, although I'm not sure it's worth the effort since they tend to mess it up during the party and you have to clean again. Ha. We'll see, eh? The list is pretty fearsome and keeps expanding, so I think you might enjoy your neighborhood party a lot more by just attending, not hosting. :)

    Vivavavoom - Great to see you around, and you're right about being sober enough to watch people . . . but I usually only adhere to that at first and then the alcohol dulls the pain of realizing what they are doing/did to your place. Ha.

    Nobich - I'm right there with you, and the party isn't even here yet - the ungrateful swine. Ha.

  12. kmwthay Says:
  13. I like hosting parties. I don't know why. I guess I like being "that house" that everyone can come too. BUT my parties are usually never more than 10 people which makes it pretty easy to clean up later.

    Now - I hope you don’t have any more mysterious sticky floors to clean up! Have a good party, and I look forward to hearing all about it on Monday!

  14. Linda Says:
  15. We used to give killer parties back in the day. The entire basement was occupied by a pool table, ping pong table, a bar and a killer stereo system. Don't really remember stressing about food. Hung with a beer and chip kinda crew back then. The magic wore off when a couple of guys broke my kitchen table arm wrestling. Ahhhh the good ol' days. Yours sounds like a great party (especially the sangria), once you get all the bitchin' done you'll have a great time! Enjoy.....

  16. Miss Ash Says:
  17. Oh man, just wait until the clean up....that will be a job in itself as well. Sure people try to be considerate but too much sangria and Wooooooo it's outta control.

    Have fun!!

  18. KayDee Says:
  19. You can always put something in the sangria and send them all home early claiming they were so wasted you had to put them in a cab. Ok that's just what I do but you might be more responsible than me.

    My main concern is does this mean there won't be a QHF because I'm totally not down with that B?

    Oh ok, I hope you have an amazing party and that all your friends have a good time and help you clean up. :)

  20. Kmwthay - You're a professional though . . . Ha. I bet yours turn out well as I am a rank amateur, so I'm sure I could be more efficient with my planning. And I think it will be closer to 15 people, so hopefully, the clean-up (and especially the mysetrious sticky floors) won't be too bad. Hopefully.

    Linda - Those sound like some parties as I've played all those games yet never broken a table arm wrestling . . . that seriously happened? Ha. Great story as it's almost worth the table getting busted for the story alone. And yes, now that I'm getting more things off my list, it is sounding more appealing.

    Miss Ash - Sangria is delicious (not too sweet Sangria, tart is better), and it could lead to some illicit behavior. But then again, that helps make a party more memorable, so as long as nothing important gets broken, it might turn out fine. I don't want to think about the clean-up - yet. Ha.

    KayDee - There's no Everclear in the Sangria as I made it last night (just wine, grand mariner, brandy, juices and fruit), so that ship has sailed. Ha. And I am nothing if not professional, so . . . there will definitely be a QHF tomorrow as I am working on that today. I'll send word on the party next week.

  21. Amélie Says:
  22. wow sounds like some hard to please guests

  23. Heff Says:
  24. "Accidentally" leave out some porn. You never know where that could lead...

  25. Amelie - I think you're right. Ha. And I've found as I get older it becomes more of a pain in the ass to have a party as a six-pack of Keystone Light and a couch used to suffice.

    Heff - Yeah, that could turn the party in a certain direction I don't think I want to go this time. The clean-up would suck. Ha.


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