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Bathing With The Drunken Viking . . .

Posted by 2 Dollar Productions Monday, June 02, 2008

{This is the Twentieth in a recurring series that will only happen when I have consumed far too many spirits with my brother. Last night, we had a mini-celebration (more on that in a later post) and a few pitchers of Sam Adams Summer Ale were consumed which triggered strange thoughts, candid insights and pure horseshit. Selah.}



* It feels good to be back

* Never get a straight-razor shave from anyone wearing bifocals


* Referring to your high school sporting accomplishments after college graduation is just plain sad

* Whoever said patience is a virtue was probably a lazy bastard

* You'll witness some great and horrible things at 3 a.m. inside a Denny's restaurant


* Nudists are generally the last people anyone would want to see naked

* Tan lines on attractive women provide a fine map for exploration areas if you get lost


* Always pay escort services in cash

* Never spend the night at a house where the owner boasts a sword collection


* Roast Beef is the most erotic of all the deli meats


* Nothing called Horny Goat Weed can actually work

* "Abstainer: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure." - Ambrose Bierce

-BDS

25 comments

  1. Gypsy Says:
  2. It's great to see you back D. Can't wait to hear all your news. I am so behind in my Hollyweird gossip so it's a good thing you've returned before I get totally and embarrassingly out of the loop :)

     
  3. Heff Says:
  4. Back with a vengeance, I see. Glad you're back. Clue us in.

     
  5. JLee Says:
  6. What a way to make a comeback..good call! Anxious to hear the good news and I had an erotic prime rib sandwich yesterday. ha

     
  7. Gypsy - Thanks as it feels good & I tried to get over to you this morning (my time), but need to dig out the password as you're locked down now. Ha.

    Heff - A little celebration never hurt anyone. Actually, it has and did, but I will be giving more details of my whereabouts very soon.

    Jlee - The Viking is all about comebacks & resiliency (sp?). Ha. I bet that was a fine sandwich too.

     
  8. Ohhhh, The Viking AND 2$ are back. And I see you added "double the fun" at the end. How cheeky of you.

     
  9. updates. we want updates. Did the hollywood execs send you to the MTV Movie awards to start networking? Probably did. Lucky bastard.

    See Lindsay Lohan at the awards? I cant tell if she really looked that good or if she only looked attractive cuz she was standing next to Verne Troyer?

     
  10. Miss Ash Says:
  11. Now i'm curious to know what you were celebrating....good news about the script??

    As for the nudist part I totally agree! I've been on a beach or two (fully clothed of course) and have seen some nasty sites *shudder*

     
  12. Anonymous Boxer - I love all puns, and I tried to return facings forwards, however, I fell short of the goal.

    Idig - That would be nice as I bet some serious debauchery (sp?) occurs at the MTV show each year. I saw a pic of Lohan and she looked better than most of the recent ones I've seen, but then again, why does her whole family look about 10 - 15 years older than their actual ages? Updates coming.

    Miss Ash - Exactly. I've been to one place like that, and most were not a pretty site. There were a few . . . law of averages I suppose. And a mini-celebration for completing the draft of the script.

     
  13. Welcome back. Loving the shower viking :)

     
  14. Linda Says:
  15. Welcome back!! You and the Viking were missed, glad to see he's still drunken!! That roast beef looks good, it must be lunch time....

     
  16. Wendy Says:
  17. Re: Straight razor & bifocals... also never get your hair cut by a flamboyant guy who emphasizes his chatter by gesturing wildly while armed with scissors. (I'm not that upset. It'll grow back.)

     
  18. Havingmycake - Thanks, and the Viking is all about the love too. Ha.

    Linda - Thank you, and it's lunchtime in Austin, although I ate the last of my roast beef over the weekend. Selah. I'll see what might be in the company break-room.

    Wendy - Ouch. I think that would make the list too, and cutters should never wave around their scissors for emphasis or cut when they're excited, drunk or angry. None of these scenarios can lead to good things.

     
  19. I'd argue that scary things are afoot in Denny's regardless of whether you go in at 3 a.m. or 3 p.m.

    Good to see you back from hiatus.

     
  20. The Troll Says:
  21. 5:00 is better for Denny's observations. You've got the hard-core drunks from the bottle-clubs, various street creatures, heavily-armed redneck hunters, AND on Sundays, some early Churchies.

    A better and more volatile mix.

     
  22. nobich Says:
  23. Welcome back tell us everything!!

     
  24. Caption for the black and white photo:
    "Sure, you can hit on my wife. See if I care. Hiiiayyaah!"

     
  25. BostonPobble Says:
  26. Whoo-Hoo!

    I am assuming that the Drunken Viking made an appearance due to the wild celebrations surrounding a successful and lucrative month. I, along with everyone else, look forward to details.

     
  27. Native Minnow - Thanks as it's good to be back, and I would tend to agree about Denny's, although I bet the 3 pm crowd is more filled with senior citizens and they aren't quite so violent. Sometimes.

    Troll - If the 5 am has the mix that you described, then you're dead right. I have no personal experience as I've been there at 3 am after the bars closed at 2 am, however, 5 am means I've gone to bed from drinking or otherwise normal activies and am not awake at that hour. That sounds like a good thing.

    Nobich - Thanks and I'll write a catch-up post tomorrow or Wednesday at the latest.

    WhatIgot - I think I would use that same logic for nearly anything if I had that many swords. You want an extra serving of potatoes . . . Hiiiayyaah!

    Bostonpobble - It was a good working month, but the gains have been strictly personal satisfaction at this point, which doesn't pay well. Ha. I will post a catch-up tomorrow or Wednesday.

     
  28. grace Says:
  29. This comment has been removed by the author.  
  30. grace Says:
  31. So glad you're back! I hope the writing went superbly :)

     
  32. cats Says:
  33. you are SO right about denny's. so glad to see you back. i was going through $2 withdrawl.

     
  34. vivavavoom Says:
  35. hee hee...glad to see you are back. and yes, Horny Goat Weed can work and is a commonly prescribed herb for low libido...as well as Wild Japanese Yam...althought that doesn't sound as good/exciting.

     
  36. I'm soooo happy to see you're back!! Anyway...I think letting people know to never get a straigth razor from someone with bifocals is dam good advice. Altho I feel like that should be a no-brainer you never know what people are thinking. Hahaha

    Why is roast beef the most erotic of all the deli meats. I guess I ask because I never even thought of deli meat as being erotic.

     
  37. Wil Says:
  38. I've always loved you.

     
  39. Grace - Thanks and it did go well. At least in my opinion. But I'm hopelessly biased. Ha.

    Cats - I think we can all relate to the Denny's bit. Ha. And I was going to withrawal as well so it's great to be back. Thanks.

    Vivavavoom - Interesting. I remember when Yohimbe (sp?) was supposed to be great and I can't believe that Goat Weed works. What a name, eh? Much better than the Japenese Yam - they need better marketing advice.

    Trina - Is should be, shouldn't it? Ha. You see a straight razor and thick glasses and you should walk right back out the door. And the deli meat is somewhat questionable, although I think it's a guy thing as there's something primal about it which translates well to other areas. ha.

    Wil - The Viking and I appreciate it. We're about the love man. Ha.

     

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