“Why Johnny Ringo, you look like somebody just walked over your grave,” – Val Kilmer, ‘Tombstone’ 
I’m truly excited that ‘Tombstone’ is finally coming to Blu Ray next month as it features Kilmer’s best performance as Doc Holliday, and it’s also a pretty damn entertaining movie, especially for a pulpy western.
Anyway, I’ll be staying out of graveyards this weekend as my time is open and free and that is an exciting thought. So, before I leave the office by 3 p.m., let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
‘Clerks’ director Kevin Smith was taken off a plane a Southwest Airlines flight this week as the airline claimed that Smith did not fit into a single seat.
Smith complained about the incident on his Twitter account saying: "I'm way fat, but I'm not there just yet." Southwest issued an apology to the director via Twitter and its website.
The fight continued, however, as Smith challenged the airline to bring a row of seats on to a US chat show for him to prove he fit into them.
"If I don't fit, I'll donate $10k to charity of your choice. But when I do (& buckle the belt as well)? 1) You admit you lied. 2) Change your policy, or at least re-train your staff to be a lot more human & a lot less corporate," he wrote. 
Regardless of who is at fault here, the one thing made abundantly clear is that Smith needs to go on a diet - immediately.
Tiger Woods’ alleged porn star mistress said this week that the golfer impregnated her twice, both times when his wife was also pregnant, according to an interview she gave to “Inside Edition.”
Joslyn James, the star of such adult classics as ‘Big Breasted Nurses’ and ‘My Sex Teacher #12,’ said her affair with Tiger Woods always involved unprotected sex.
James, 32, claimed that she miscarried in her first pregnancy at about the same time his wife, Elin Nordegren, gave birth to daughter Sam Alexis on June 18, 2007. The other ended with an abortion. 
This was the story that finally broke me when it comes to paying any further attention to Tiger Woods infidelity tales, although it does entice me to rent the entire catalogue of the ‘Sex Teacher’ series because they must contain a plethora of lessons if producers needed 12 volumes to cover the course material.
Heidi Montag said this week that she wants to do ‘Playboy’ again now that her multiple plastic surgeries have healed.
"I am doing Playboy again... soon, very soon," Heidi told RadarOnline.com. "I cannot wait to show off my new (DDD) assets, I am very excited."
Wake me when Montag switches to hard-core pornography. Or maybe not.
Nicole Richie announced this week that she is engaged to Joel Madden, the father of her two children, Harlow and Sparrow.
Richie broke the news on the ‘The David Letterman Show.’ The couple have been together for three years. 
Nicole said her father, Lionel Richie, was so excited by the news that he has been Dancing on the Ceiling ever since the announcement.
Charlie Sheen's wife Brooke Mueller checked into a rehab center for substance abuse this week.
Mueller, 32, checked into The Canyon rehab facility in Malibu, according to TMZ.com. Mueller's lawyer, Yale Galanter, told PEOPLE he was not prepared to comment on the report. But one source confirmed to PEOPLE, "Brooke is in rehab."
Earlier this year, Mueller checked into a North Carolina “wellness program” for “rest” rather than rehab, according to her lawyer.
Not surprisingly, her lawyer is a liar, and Brooke Mueller is on drugs – you could have blown me over with a feather on both accounts.
Gary Coleman unleashed a foul-mouthed tirade this week during an interview on "The Insider," a show Coleman had agreed to appear on to set the record straight about his recent domestic violence arrest.
The 'Diff'rent Strokes' star quickly became angry with the show's guest lawyer, Lisa Bloom, who asked him whether he attacked his wife.
He shouted, "She's (Bloom) pushing my buttons and I don't like her now, the next thing I'm going to do is leave, (expletive) you all." He stormed out of the studio, cursing all the way to his car. 
Coleman continued: "She's pushing my buttons, just like my wife did and you see how that turned out." But seriously, Coleman needs help because he's got some big anger issues for such a little body.
As always, let’s end with a gold image or three: 
Sometimes the best things come in pairs, whether they be upright, cascading or just hanging out. So, swing loose and free today, enjoy the laws of gravity and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
Tiger slept with the chick from ST12, that's a good one. Good for Tiger.
And I love that Satanic smile on Charlie Sheen. That shot is up there with his one close-up in Ferris Bueller as his best photos ever.
My sources tell me Mr. Smith wore a big bulky pimp-style jacket and refused to take it off which would have allowed him to fit (barely) in the seat without annoying the passenger along side him. Sounds like he may have planned this as a publicity stunt.
Heidi Montag's life is a publicity stunt.
Gary Coleman is mentally stunted.
As is Charley Sheen any chick who would sleep with him.
Marriages announced on the Letterman Show tend to last longer than typical Hollyweird marriages.
Golf TV ratings and live-gate-receipts are apparently way down while Tiger Woods re-evualates the lessons he learned from "The Sex Teacher". Kind of strange that. Golf is golf, after all. And Tiger is a VERY conservative risk-averse player and doesn't interact much with the galleries.
WIGSF - She is a teacher, an instructor, so yes, good for Tiger. Ha. And no picture could ever beat Charlie in 'Ferris' - classic stuff. Happy Friday WIGSF.
Drinky Cow - Interesting about Smith. He does have a movie coming out soon (that looks absolutely terrible from the previews). I wish Montag would go away, and take Coleman with her, although she should be worried in that scenario. Sheen does make a lot of money . . . just saying. As for golf, they are praying Woods comes back soon for the reasons you mentioned. It's semi-amazing his effect on prize money, crowds, etc. and the other players who are bitching about him should consider that - they wouldn't earn near the amount of money they do if he wasn't on the Tour. From an economic standpoint, Tiger can do pretty much whatever he wants as far as the golfing powers are concerned. Everything else is much dicier . . . Happy Friday Crow.
Quick Heff Friday !
Kevin Smith just couldn't stay "Silent" about this, could he ?
Wow. Tiger impressed me by conquering Joslyn James. She looks like a young LISA ANN.
As long as Spencer Pratt has NOTHING to do with the second Playboy shoot, I'm THERE.
Regarding Nicole Ritchie, it's very valiant for a woman to actually MARRY the father of her bastards. Way to go, Nicole !
May be some truth in the Mueller story. I could use a break from Charlie Sheen, too.
Gary Coleman just scares the ever lovin' shit out of me. Leprechaun with an attitude !
And in closing,
I hope this weekend is "The Tits" for you, BDS !
BTW - H.B.A.G. returns to the blogosphere 02/24/2010. Try and bend your grueling work schedule to stop by, LMAO !
Heff - First, awesome to see you coming back and I'll clear some time to check it out, although if I end up getting another gig at some point, I fear my time will be less available. Anyway, thanks for the detail, so nice 'Silent' pun as I thought about using that one myself, I'm a fan of Lisa Ann whatever her age, since I have a subscription I would see Montag's next spread myself, I could care less about Richie/Madden and am not sure why I included them here (slow week?), that's why I don't watch Two and a Half men (one of them), Coleman is one scary dude these days and I appreciate the weekend thoughts. Happy Friday Heff.
Kilmer doesn't get much better than his Doc Holiday role (with the possible exception of "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang")
I want to say something clever but all that comes to mind for this whole post is: "idiots..all of em" ha
Have a good relaxing weekend...
Tombstone is one of my favorite westerns. It was also one of the first movies I went to with my ex-wife. Val Kilmer was great in that. "I'll be your huckleberry."
I saw a list of Tiger's mistresses somewhere. The one you posted is hot, but some of them were fugly.
As much as Iove boobs, Triple Ds are too big. A man could suffocate, you know?
My sister-in-law had a run in with Gary Coleman where he yelled at her for being an autograph seeker when she was really just trying to return his wallet. She said that after he went off on her she just threw it at him.
Jlee - I'd add his work in 'Real Genius' to that list too. 'Kiss' is excellent as you mentioned. It was a big week week for idiots, but that's what keeps QHF running along smoothly . .. Ha. Happy Friday Jlee.
Native Minnow - Stellar movie and full of great quotes. Not sure how you associate it since it was seen so early w/ your ex, but . . . that is a hilarious story about Coleman. I guess that guy just has some serious issues. My issues w/ big boobs is that I don't have any. Ha. I'm OK w/ any size at all & maybe the bigger ones are just more of a challenge, eh? Happy Friday Minnow.
Tombstone rocked! Kilmer was good in an old movie where he played a singer/spy. A comedy.
Drinky is a CROW not a "cow".
Dook! Dook! Dook!
Native's story about Coleman is great. That dude should be happy someone potentially wanted his autograph and I would have tossed the wallet into a garbage can.
Isn't EVERYTHING on the news a publicity stunt nowadays? Or an infomercial?
Have a great weekend 2buck!
New on my list of folks who should STFU? Kevin Smith and Tiger Woods. Both are a waste of attention. Slow week for celeb news. Better off watching the Olympics. Have a great weekend and Happy Friday!!
Troll Y2K - I believe you're thinking of 'Top Secret' w/ Kilmer. Maybe that makes up for mispelling the Crow/Cow issue, eh? Regardless, an unfortunate oversight indeed. Happy Friday Troll.
Nobich - Happy Friday to you.
Boxer - I was thinking the same thing about Coleman, and that story was hilarious. I know what you mean about the pub stunt too - seems like everything is just too staged for my taste. Nothing holds any weight . . . Oh well, Happy Friday Boxer.
Linda - Actually, I'm vaguely curious about what Woods has to say at his news conference today. Vaguely. Think I'm going to see 'Shutter Island' this weekend, maybe watch some Olympics on the side. Happy Friday Linda.
Wait wait did I read that correctly...Gary Coleman is married???
You just made me feel even worse about myself......
Happy Friday :)
I am reading this in daylight hours which I am eternally grateful for since you reposted that freakin scary pic of Gary Coleman again. That seriously gave me nightmares last time...LOL.
Hope you have a great weekend B.
Happy Weekend, BDS -
So, Tombstone is on my top five favorite film of all time. And I agree whole heartedly that Tombstone was Kilmer's best performance ever. (including Willow.., hahahah I kill me.)
Look, I like Kevin Smith, and he's always been a big guy, but when an airline looks you one over and decides you need to buy an extra seat... I don't think I'd be sharing that all over social networking sites.
Tiger's press hearing this morning was amusing. It's a good thing he's good at golf, because he'd never have made it at speech and debate. He was like a robot. Very strange.
I don't know if I can take another Heidi news flash. I hope this is the last we see. just sayin. :)
I wonder if Joel thinks Nicole is a Brick House? Because I think she's more like a brick wall.
re: Charlie and Brooke - coke heads like to hang with other coke heads. Just sayin...
and there's that gremlinesque Gary Coleman picture again. Not good.
getcha self a handful.
None of it is true. Joslyn was carrying my kids. She's just lying becaue its better press. And it is.
Miss Ash - Yes. It's true, but take this to heart: At least you're not married to Gary Coleman. Ha. Happy Friday.
Gypsy - I know. I hated to use it again, but it went with the story. Ha. Creepy indeed. Happy Friday to you and hope you had a good weekend.
Kymical Reactions - I always appreciate the detail, so I had totally forgotten about 'Willow' and let's just say that 'Tombstone' is better, ha, I like Smith as well and he holds nothing back and definitely needs to go on a diet, I finally saw some of Tiger's press conference too and yeah, robotic is the right word as I found it painful to watch, you'll be seeing more of Heidi - trust me, I just don't care much about Nicole/Richie at all, only slightly more about Sheen/Mueller because at least they're crazy and that means somewhat interesting and Coleman's pic is always haunting. Ha. Happy Friday.
Getoffmylawn - It is a better story with Tiger involved, and if you know the truth, then that's all that matters. Discretion is a lost art . . . Ha. Happy Friday.