2 Dollar Productions

“The first thing they shoulda told you at your hooker classes is that you shouldn't ask so many fucking questions.” – Alec Baldwin, “Miami Blues”


‘Blues’ was a weird, off-beat little movie that came out long before Alec Baldwin got fat and funny, and was an interesting project. I plan to be extremely un-interesting this weekend as I am staying away from Valentine’s Day weekend price fix menus and angry chefs and instead will focus my attention inside the confines of my loft.

So, before I leave the office by 3 p.m. to pick up flowers and bring out the other items I’ve already purchased, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:

Jamie Lynn Spears and boyfriend Casey Aldridge have split, according to sources close to the couple, and the former Nickelodeon star is supposedly moving on in a new relationship with businessman James Watson.

"She's going through a lot of changes," says a Spears family friend. "It has been painful. She's a young mother and struggling in a lot of areas."

Spears moved out of the Liberty, Miss., house she shared Aldridge and their 19-month-old daughter, Maddie, about six weeks ago and is now living with her mother, Lynne, according to sources. The teenagers had originally planned to marry after Spears, then 16, became pregnant.


Then again, the teenagers originally planned to have sex and not get pregnant, so the best laid plans of the Spears’ clan haven’t exactly worked out all that well from the beginning.

Howard Stern confirmed this week that he is considering leaving Sirius -- and radio altogether -- to become a judge on ‘American Idol’ and replace Simon Cowell when Cowell’s contract expires at the end of this season.

"There's not a better job on the planet than judging that [bleeping] karaoke contest," Stern said.


But Stern did state that he would only join ‘Idol’ if they allowed him to bring his lesbian strippers, stuttering midgets and Robin Quivers along with him.

John Mayer told ‘Playboy’ magazine in an interview for the new issue that he was sexually addicted to Jessica Simpson.

"That girl, for me, is a drug," Mayer, 32, told Playboy. "And drugs aren't good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me."
"Sexually it was crazy," he says. "That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm."


Even when Mayer is funny you still want him to just shut the fuck up once in awhile.

As a follow-on story, Mayer reportedly broke down during a concert Wednesday, the same day the Playboy interview was made public.

"I quit the media game. I'm out. I'm done," a choked-up Mayer told the audience at Nashville, Tenn.'s Sommet Center, according to E! News. "I just want to play my guitar."

If Mayer would just play his guitar, and take the above advice, he would probably be just fine.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt sued Britain's News of the World tabloid this week over allegations it published about their relationship, their London lawyers said on Monday.

The weekly newspaper had previously reported that the couple planned to separate imminently and had agreed on how they would divide their assets and custody of their children. Keith Schilling of Schillings law firm said the News of the World failed to meet the couple's "reasonable demands" for a retraction of the story and apology.


Their “reasonable demands” included provisions for the newspaper to adopt multiple children from different countries, and for entire editorial staff to receive a ritual flogging from Jolie, neither of which they consented to take part in.

Charlie Sheen was charged with felony menacing Monday in an Aspen court, but the judge also lifted a portion of a protection order that prohibits him from having contact with his wife.

Sheen and his wife, Brooke Mueller Sheen, left the courthouse together following the verdict. It was Sheen's first court appearance since he was jailed Christmas Day in Aspen on domestic violence allegations, and Prosecutor Arnold Mordkin also filed two misdemeanor charges, third-degree assault and criminal mischief, against Sheen, 44.

The felony menacing count stems from allegations that Sheen held his wife at knife point and told her, “You better be in fear. If you tell anybody, I'll kill you. Your mother's money means nothing. I have ex-police I can hire who know how to get the job done and they won't leave any trace.”


That sounds like a parody of some bad Charlie Sheen movie, and it would be even funnier if I didn’t think that Sheen actually believed the words that he threatened Mueller with.

Alex Rodriguez partied with Cameron Diaz in Miami this week during Super Bowl weekend leading to speculation that the two hooked up.

“They were having a great time,” a partygoer told OK! magazine. And this wasn’t a one-night thing, according to the snitch. “A-Rod and Cameron have been totally hooking up.”


I guess Rodriguez showed Diaz a Squeeze Play back in his hotel room after she Stole his heart on the dance floor with her Single-girl out on the town persona, and I just hope they used a Safe word if things turned kinky.

Tom Cruise announced this week that he will produce and star in “Mission: Impossible IV,” Paramount Studios confirmed on Tuesday.

“Tom and J.J. are great talents and we are excited to be working with them to re-launch this legendary franchise,” Paramount Pictures Chairman and CEO Brad Grey said in a statement on Tuesday. The film will be released on Memorial Day weekend 2011.


The impossible mission here will be to actually make a 4th installment that people want to watch.

As always, let’s end with a gold image or three:




My brain feels fuzzy today so I’ll just let these images speak for themselves. So, don’t worry if you’re at a loss for words today, put your best (ass)ets forward and . . . Happy Friday!


-BDS