“Sno-Balls? Sno-Balls? Where the fuck are the God damn Twinkies?” – Woody Harrelson, ‘Zombieland’
Harrelson was pretty damn good in this entertaining flick, and since he was just nominated for a Best Supporting Oscar this week for ‘The Messenger’ I figured that I would pay my respects. Personally, I haven’t eaten a Twinkie in years, but that movie made me want to find those indestructible little yellow snack cakes and have a few.
Anyway, before I hit the office doors by 3 p.m., let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
Actor Rip Torn was released on bail on Monday and was headed for rehab after police said they found him drunk and armed with a loaded gun in a closed Connecticut bank last week.
Torn 78, was charged in court with burglary, criminal trespass and weapons offenses but did not enter a plea. He was released on $100,000 bond, a court spokeswoman said.
Torn's lawyer said the actor was disoriented and believed he was at home at the time of his arrest. He was fond on Friday inside a bank in his home town of Salisbury, Connecticut.
Mr Torn believed he was at home," his lawyer told Reuters. "Based upon that belief he would not have the necessary intent to commit a crime."
The redundantly named actor also hopes to avoid being ripped or torn when he goes to jail. Ouch.
“Jersey Shore” star Snooki denied rumors this week that a sex tape featuring the starlet was making the rounds and up for sale.
Radar Online reported that Snooki was featured in nude photos and video, which were being shopped around to various media outlets. Snooki took to her Twitter page to deny it, writing, ““Like i said before about my supposed ‘sex tape’…There are no nude pictures nor will there ever be. the tabloids just love snook gossip.” 
This is one case where I really hope the celebrity is telling the truth, and that a flesh-baring video of Snooki never, ever surfaces.
Rap mogul Sean 'Diddy' Combs said this week that he plans to launch a business school in the New York area.
He told CNN, "I want to have an academy that's known for building leaders. I feel that's one of the things I can have an impact on." 
Class choices will include: ‘The Art of Cristal Pouring,’ ‘How to wear sunglasses at night,’ and feature an advanced curriculum concerning ‘The best way to give yourself multiple names.’
Taylor Swift’s duet with Stevie Nicks at the Grammy awards this past week generated a bit of controversy as many bloggers accused Swift of being out of tune.
On Wednesday, the CEO of her record label went on the offensive to defend her performance and blames a technical issue for the problem. "This is not American Idol. This is not a competition of getting up and seeing who can sing the highest note," Big Machine Records CEO Scott Borchetta told The Associated Press. "This is about a true artist and writer and communicator. It's not about a technically perfect performance."
Maybe, but for some people, it was Swift's technically imperfect performance that seems to be drawing the criticism.
Mel Gibson called a reporter an ‘asshole’ this week during an interview to promote his new film ‘Edge of Darkness.’
Gibson was on an early morning satellite interview with Chicago's WGN-TV when reporter Dean Richards asked him, "Do you think the public will perceive you any differently after all that's been in the news about you?"
"That's almost four years ago, dude," Gibson said. "I've done all the necessary mea culpas. Let's move on." At the end of the interview, Gibson was heard muttering ‘asshole’ under his breath before the satellite feed went off the air.
The only real news here is that Gibson didn't use the word Jewish in front of the insult, so maybe he did learn something from his arrest four years ago.
Heidi Montag filmed a reunion with her mother this week for the reality show ‘The Hills,’ their first meeting since Heidi underwent 10 plastic-surgery procedures in one day and the meeting didn’t go so well.
"I was nervous, but also excited … I never thought in my wildest dreams she was going to react the way she did," Montag, 23, told PEOPLE. "She was looking at me almost like a zoo animal. It wasn't like I was her daughter anymore. She was looking at me like I was a circus freak."
Meanwhile, a group of circus freaks are silently fuming, and telling anyone who will listen that they don’t look nearly as bad as Heidi.
As always, let's end with a gold image or three:
Sometimes it top-down and other times it's bottoms-up, and both are fine in my book. So, embrace duality today, try to remember up from down and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
I love Rip Torn. Best name in Hollywood. Better than Slim Pickins.
WIGSF - Agreed. His name makes me smile every single time . . .
I have the feeling we'll be reading about Woody being caught drunk-and-armed in a bank eventually too.
Favorite Mel Gibson "mea culpa" so far: "Adam and Eve were Jews, so, really, we're all part Jew". (*)
P-Unk. P-ussy. P-izzleAntfizzle.
Not looking forward to interviewing graduates of P-Brain's "Business School".
(*) This statement ranks right up there with " The Gospels of Luke and Paul were my sources for Passion of the Christ".
(**) Adam and Eve didn't practice Judiasm.
(***) Paul didn't write a Gospel.
(****) Passion had all sorts of mystic crap that wasn't in Luke or any other Gospel account.
QUICK HEFF FRIDAY !!
If Rip Torn sees jail time, his name will probably take on a painful "HOLE" new meaning !
Hell, I'd watch Snookie in a homade porn. Yeah, that's my "Situation".
You beat me to it, but I was gonna say "Look for Combs business school to change its name SEVERAL times."
"Thinking too many impure thoughts about Stevie Nicks to give a "Swift" comment on this one"
In Mel's defense, "asshole" comes off a lot better than "Sugar-Tits" in my opinion.
The only "Hills" of Montag I'm interested in are her NEW ones. Wow !
And in closing, don't get "netted" in to work today any longer than you have to. Have a great weekend, BDS !
Troll Y2K - I think Woody is more of a pot man, so he probably wouldn't be drunk in that scenario. As far as Gibson, I generally hate watching anyone perform mea culpas, but missed that Gibson quote, so thanks for that one. Personally, I'd like to hear from some of P Diddy's graduates for future QHF fodder . . . Happy Friday.
Heff - Great to see the detail, so many good puns with Rip and I love them all, nice 'Situation' pun and I really don't think you want to see that video (if it exists), like your Combs comment as well, thought long and hard about a Swift pun but couldn't come up with one, yeah, but sugar tits is much more visually descriptive, ha, and I won't be ensare in any corporate nets today. Happy Friday Heff.
I had a deep fried twinkie in Vegas last year which is odd as I don't really ever eat twinkies. But slap something in batter and fry it up, i'm all over it!
I'd rather bleach my eyes out than see a Snookie video and that mug shot is just awful.
yay Heff is back with his QHF. :-)
Did you watch that duet with Taylor Swift? Uff-dah. The girl was out of tune. Ouch. I've managed to avoid everything relating to Taylor Swift until the Grammy's and you know what?
I haven't been missing much. She's just another processed singer that doesn't have much talent. Just good marketing. I now believe K.West was correct. We should all apologize to him.
3:00? Really?
Have a great weekend!
I agree with Woody, Snowballs are gross. Zombieland is a very fun movie. I did read that the bank Rip Torn found himself in did look like a house, still an amusing story. I pray I never have to watch an episode of Jersey Shore. I went to college with a few folks like that, all set there. nuff said. Once again Mel Gibson has proved what a jerk he is. Just because you apologize for something doesn't mean that it didn't happen. You'd think he'd have a more gracious, prepared answer for the inevitable query. Enjoy your weekend and Happy Friday!!
I hadn't had a Twinkie in years either. Until my friend defended her dissertation this week, and announced at the end of the talk that she had a basket of them across the hall. I ate three.
Miss Ash - I've heard of, but never consumed a deep-fried twinkie . . . maybe next time I'm in Vegas. And I agree 100% about what you said about the bleach/Snooki video and the mug shot. Happy Friday.
Boxer - 3 p.m. is a standard Friday unless something goes horribly awry. Ha. Glad to see Heff back too, and I've been on the sidelines w/ Swift too & didn't see her performance in question. Supposedly, that is not indicative of all her work, and supposedly she is better than most pre-packaged talent. I say supposedly because I have no idea, and don't plan to know, although that's what I've read in several semi-reputable sources. Take it with a grain of salt & Happy Friday Boxer.
Linda - I have yet to see an episode of Jersey either although I see some clips on 'The Soup,' and I thought the exact same thing about Gibson - have a canned answer because you know you're getting asked about that general line of questioning by just about everyone. And yeah, snowballs are nasty. Happy Friday.
Native Minnow - Nice. I might have to grab some myself in the near future, but 3 of them might be too much. Maybe? Ha. Seems like it would be good going down, but then settle and leave you feeling a bit nasty about 45 minutes later. Happy Friday.
Happy Friday!! and bottoms up!!!
I'll have to catch "Zombieland" on cable soon. It looks like good fun. I hadn't thought about Twinkies in a long time either, but that sounds good right about now!
I am pissed I didn't see the Swift/Stevie Nicks duet, because I'm a fan of both of them. Those technical things happen. I saw Pink one time sing live on some show and her IFB or ear monitor was not working and she sounded like crap.
I heard the clip on the radio of Gibson and keep thinking he cannot be a bigger jerk. Shame. I used to like him in the Mad Max/Lethal Weapon days...
Ok, enough of the long but non- clever comment. Have a great weekend!
I just got Zombieland, and am watching tonight! I heart Woodie.
Diddy is a clown. And clowns scare me.
Mel Gibson scares me.
Heidi scares me.
Now, wooo. bottoms up, indeed! ;)
Mel Gibson is a noob. I am sure he said "jewish" in his head and he's just lucky it didn't come out.
Little Ponce.
Saw it last night and thought it was pretty funny. I've been in need of something to make me laugh for about a week. Zombieland delivered.
Nobich - Happy Friday to you & Bottoms up indeed. Ha.
Jlee - YOu should find the Swift/Nicks thing online & decide for yourself as I'm somewhat tone deaf anyway. Ha. And rent 'Zombieland' as there's nothing in the theaters anyway & it's a solid, funny movie. Happy Friday to you.
Kymical Reactions - Glad you liked the theme as I happened to be able to find some this week. Ha. And like the scary clowns to the rest of the scary actual clowns comment this week. They are all pretty scary. Happy Friday.
Getoffmylawn - Ha. Noob & Little Ponce in the same comment - that is good stuff. I think Ponce is my favorite. Happy Friday.
Native Minnow - Good. I thought it was a solidly funny movie with a running time that showed restraint because it didn't need to be a minute longer. Glad you liked it.
wow. Still one of the best blogs around... pretty awesome 2bux.
And I like the redesign.
Slopmaster - All compliments are welcome around here, so thanks and glad you like the new design. Maybe you're back from the wilds of Africa now . . . will have to pop over & check.