“I'm just tryin' to keep everything in balance, Woodrow. You do more work than you got to, so it's my obligation to do less.” – Robert Duvall, ‘Lonesome Dove’
‘Dove’ is quite possibly the best TV mini-series ever made, although to be fair, I don’t watch that many of them. But is still somewhat amazing how well they pulled it off, even with a truly stellar novel as the source material.
Anyway, I plan to echo Duvall and do less work today to balance the scales. But before I hit the road by 3 p.m., let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
A judge in Colorado has postponed a hearing this week in the domestic violence case involving Charlie Sheen and his wife, Brooke Mueller.
The restraining order previously issued was also modified Wednesday so that Sheen could visit his wife in a Los Angeles hospital, where she was admitted with a high fever and an infection following oral surgery to remove her wisdom teeth.
Funny, I assumed Mueller had her wisdom teeth removed long ago since a distinct lack of wisdom would have explained why she married Sheen in the first place.
Kim Kardashian denied reports that surfaced this week in the New York Post that she made a deal with boyfriend Reggie Bush: If the Saints win the Super Bowl, then he’ll ask her to marry him.
"This is not true," Kardashian wrote Tuesday on her blog. "I never made any kind of bet.”
Bush later rescinded his statement that he would stop Fumbling around and marry Kardashian if she was Tight End rather than a Wide Receiver. Ouch.
John Mayer appeared on the cover of the current Rolling Stone magazine this week, and admitted that his breakup with Jennifer Aniston was a mistake.
"I've never really gotten over it," Mayer said in the interview. "It was one of the worst times of my life." 
More specifically, Mayer has never really gotten over all the media attention that he received when he was actually dating Anniston instead of merely talking about her.
Tiger Woods is allegedly being treated for sex addiction at a facility in Mississippi, according to a journalist and author of a book on the affliction.
Benoit Denizet-Lewis, a recovering sex addict, said a source with knowledge of the golfer's treatment has confirmed Woods is at Pine Grove Behavioral Health & Addiction Services. 
Woods is apparently at that particular clinic because there’s no one in the entire state of Mississippi that he wants to sleep with.
{Editor’s Note: I have never personally been to Mississippi, so the above statement was hyperbolic and meant for humorous effect as I’m sure there are many people I would sleep with inside the state if circumstances, personal morality and other things weren’t in the way.}
NBC reached a $45 million deal with Conan O’Brien for his exit from the “Tonight Show” Thursday, a move that will allow Jay Leno to return to the late-night program he hosted for 17 years.
The deal will pay O’Brien more than $33 million, NBC said. The rest will go to his staff in severance, the network said in an announcement on the TODAY show.
I wish someone would pay me $33 million to leave my job because I’d be gone tomorrow without a word of complaint.
Heidi Montag's debut album sold less than 1,000 copies, according to Nielsen Soundscan, an extremely low figure that could affect Montag’s finances since she put some of her own money into the disc.
She told EW, "I put every dollar I have into this. I've spent over $1 million, almost $2 million, on this album. It's cost as much or more than a Britney Spears album because I wanted it to be that quality... The songs will make an impact in pop history."
The chasm between actual reality and Montag’s plastic-coated reality seems to be growing wider with each passing day, and soon enough, I fear the Earth will swallow her whole and she will never be heard from again. Hopefully.
Amy Winehouse plead guilty this week to drunkenly assaulting a theater manager at a family Christmas show this past December.
In court, it was revealed that Winehouse had five vodka and Coke drinks before going to the show that starred Mickey Rooney, and became loud during the performance. During the show, she left the auditorium and went to the bar to ask manager Richard Pound for another drink. He suggested she have a glass of water instead and then asked her to leave.
He said Winehouse "with no premeditation, grabbed his hair and pulled." Winehouse was ordered to pay the manager about $300 and the equivalent of two years of probation. 
She was also ordered to change her name to Amy VodkaCokehouse to more accurately reflect her beverage choices.
As always, let’s end with a gold image or two: 
The weather is a perfect 75 degrees and sunny today, and I feel like shedding some clothes and hitting the sheets. So, wear your clothes however you see fit, don't feel bad about lounging around and . . . Happy Friday!
-BDS
I'm not at all familiar with Heidi....how the fuck did she become "famous" and I use the term loosely?
Enjoy that 75 degree weather, it's a whooping minus 3 here today soon to be 1 degree! I'm not even being facetious I'm serious! I'll take anything above minus 20!
What happens in Hattiesburg, stays in Hattiesburg.
Miss Ash - Flew by you in Cyberspace . . . Heidi is a 'reality star' from 'The Hills' show on MTV and I use 'star' loosely too. Yr. weather is rough and I feel somewhat guilty. But not enough not to meet up for drinks at an outdoor patio later. Ha. Happy Friday.
Magnolia - Flew by you as well. Maybe Vegas coined the phrase from Hattiesburg . . . if so, I smell a lawsuit. Happy Friday.
"The chasm between actual reality and Montag’s plastic-coated reality seems to be growing wider with each passing day, and soon enough, I fear the Earth will swallow her whole and she will never be heard from again. Hopefully."
Truly, some of your best writing.
But I don't fear, I can only HOPE the Earth will swallow her whole.
Happy Friday!
Boxer - Thank you as Heidi obviously brings out the best in me. Ha. Ridiculous couple . . . and hopefully the Earth takes Spencer too. Happy Friday Boxer & enjoy the weekend.
Troll Y2K - Here's my initial thoughts, Yes it definitely happens, I would think any club would be somewhat chagrined (sp?) with Sheen as a member, I have never heard of either of these places so I will take your word for it, and I would bet against it with Anniston, who I suspect is fairly culpable in her choice of men and her wanting to only date famous people, which decreases yr. odds of success. Happy Friday.
I doubt I'd have much in common with Jennifer Aniston, but I'd like a chance at spending a weekend with her to figure that out.
I wish the world in general would realize that Aniston hasn't had a bonafide hit since she left Friends and she is a solidly average talent (e.g. not anywhere close to Heidi Montag but seriously, hardly Bette Davis, either) and allow her to fade a little bit. Or not. Or whatever. Happy Friday, $$.
I'd be shocked at the Vodka-and-Coke but these are people who drink warm beer and luke-warm tea with milk in it while treating ice as if it was platinum.
Why can't the English teach their children how to drink?
The late night battle has produced a lot of comedy, but it's getting old. NBC should be ashamed, but they're probably happy for all that press. What a bunch of clowns. I'm off to the big city this weekend, Happy Friday!!
Native Minnow - I'm right there with you on Anniston, but I think - think - one weekend would be long enough for me. Happy Friday Minnow.
BostonPobble - I think that's a fair assesment of Anniston as she has good comic timing, but is by no means an all-time great. At least not where movies are concerned . . . and I just saw a preview of the new one coming out this spring w/ Gerard Butler and her and it looks terrible. Happy Friday Pobble.
Troll Y2K - That's the kind of drink you drink when you don't like to drink but want to get drunk. At least that's my opinion since a vodka coke would taste like a Coke . . . I do like some English beer. Happy Friday.
Linda - Enjoy the city and see some good movies. I agree about NBC as they handled this with a deplorable lack of skill, reason and professionalism. Ridiculous. Happy Friday.
I agree with Linda & clowns scare me so....enough said- except Happy Friday!!!
All I got is Heidi needs to go away...and take Amy Winehouse with her. ha
Have a great weekend, the weather is indeed gorgeous!
Nobich - Ha. Nobody likes clowns. Regardless, stay away from them today & Happy Friday.
Jlee - I would agree with that assesment, although at least Winehouse can sing when she's coherant. :) Small favors. The weather is indeed great, so I plan to be out the door in about 5 minutes & have a sneaky pint or two downtown in the sun. Happy Friday JLee.
"EXTREMELY LATE HEFF FRIDAY..."
Damn. You've vacated.
Have a good weekend anyway, dude.
Sorry B...I'm late too.
I loved that quote from Lonesome Dove and agree with you that it was a magnificent mini series.
I also enjoyed your disclaimer about the people of Mississipi. Ha.
I'm afraid I was a bit lost this week as I am clueless about Heidi and Kim Kardashian. Sometimes I know some of your celebs and sometimes I don't. Sounds like I'm not missing much.
Amy Winehouse really could have been something with her talent but she chooses to throw it all away to behave like a drug addled trollop with a death wish. No sympathy anymore.
I hope you enjoy your perfect weather and have a great weekend B.
75? nice, enjoy that all weekend if you get too.
Have you heard of those pools where people pick 5 celebs who could die in at that particular year? Charlie Sheen is on mine. What a weirdo.
I got nothing for Kim and Reggie. Noone can beat your comment. :)
John Mayer makes my list of douchebags who need punched in the face.
What? Tiger's in rehab to control his Wood? (sorry. I know that was bad. but bad jokes are what I do.)
I'm not a huge Conan fan, but he did get screwed. I kinda feel bad for him.
Heidi scares me now. She's like some sort of freaky ghost I would see in a nightmare.
Amy W. is on my list with Charlie.
Ive still not seen Lonesome Dove but I will put it on my rental list.
Like Miss Ash, Ive nver heard of Heidi or the football player but I did laugh at the Mississippi comment :)
I also enjoyed Amy VodkaCokeHouse. Priceless :)
Heff - Late still counts around here. Ha. Hope you had a good weekend yourself.
Gypsy - I agree about 'Dove' and I just read this past weekend that it came out 20 years ago. Wow. Anyhow, you're not missing much by not knowing Kim or Heidi as they are famous for absolutely no merit, but are good fodder for QHF anyway. Ha. And perfect summation of Winehouse. Happy Friday Gypsy.
Kymical Reactions - I have heard of such pools, but I think Sheen is going to live for a long time for some reason I can't figure out, agree about Mayer, I'm out of football puns on Bush/Kim, but I'll take the one about Woods as I like all puns, Conan did get screwed but he'll land somewhere, and yeah, Heidi looks just plain freaky now. She should have stopped a few surgeries ago . . . Happy Friday.
Cake - Definitely put 'Dove' on your list as Duvall considers it the best role of his career, the Mississippi comment just came out of nowhere and I like all puns (even bad ones) which was where the Winehouse one sprang from. Ha. Happy Friday to you.
Last one - sorry I don't speak the language . . . Happy Friday nonetheless.