“Conan, what is best in life?”
“To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women,” – Arnold Schwarzenegger, ‘Conan the Barbarian’
This could be a fine mantra for anyone brave enough to go shopping on Black Friday. You could substitute women for men, I suppose, depending upon your preference. My preference is to stay as far away from any commerce-related activities as possible, and instead, will simply focus on helping my parents put up Christmas decorations and then enjoy a well-deserved peppercorn steak at Del Frisco’s steakhouse later tonight.
But before any of that happens, let’s look at the hard stories of the week such as:
"American Idol" runner-up, Adam Lambert, gave a sexually provocative performance at the American Music Awards this past week during a rendition of his new song "For Your Entertainment."
The performance included a variety of sexual hijinks with references to S&M and bondage and included a kiss with one of the dancers. Lambert, who is openly gay, came out after the show and talked about "discrimination" if the pre-taped performance was edited. 
My own personal entertainment only rarely involves bondage, once in a blue moon revolves around S&M, but never includes watching Adam Lambert kiss a back-up dancer.
On the same awards show, Jennifer Lopez's "comeback" performance went awry as the singer fell on her butt after attempting to jump off the back of one of her dancers during her newest song titled "Louboutins."
Lopez quickly bounced back onto her feet and resumed a solo dance sequence as the audience let out a very loud gasp and some laughter. 
Doctors backstage believe her injuries were minimized because Lopez finally used her ample backside for something other than publicity.
Miley Cyrus had a surprise party thrown for her this week to celebrate her 17th birthday.
The 80s themed party was held at New York City's Canal Room where guests listened to music and enjoyed a custom-designed cake created by Buddy Valastro, the star of TLC's Cake Boss. 
Cyrus was quoted as saying she loved the 80s theme "because it's like, so historical and stuff." It only feels like Cyrus has already been alive for 100 years.
Roman Polanski will be placed under house arrest at his Alpine chalet as soon as possible, the Swiss Justice Ministry said Thursday, announcing it would not appeal a court's decision to release the 76-year-old director on bail.
"He must not leave this house," the ministry said in a statement. The ministry said it was still deciding whether to extradite Polanski to the United States, where authorities in Los Angeles want him sentenced for having sex in 1977 with a 13-year-old girl.
Polanski really has it tough, being forced to confine himself to a house in the Swiss Alps, although he was heard remarking that he was incredibly angry that "I couldn't attend Miley's birthday party."
Lindsay Lohan was set to spend Thanksgiving at her family's home in Long Island, according to People.com.
"Lindsay is making the garlic mashed potatoes. They are amazing!" mom Dina Lohan told People. "Lindsay is doing great right now. She's happy and very busy working. She works a lot and so we're excited to have her home for Thanksgiving."
Lohan is Thankful that her mother continues to confuse "working" with "partying" and hopes she doesn't notice the special white flakes sprinkled on top of the mashed potatoes.
As always, let’s end with a gold image or three:
I had to work some kind of eating into the pics this week since there was a lot of food to be had over Thanksgiving. So, enjoy every last bite, sprawl naked on the bed in black and white or in color and . . . Happy Black Friday!
-BDS
Q: When is it not a penalty for blockers to TACKLE defenders on a kick-off return?
A: When the "Big" 12 really wants Texas to get into the BCS Championship game.
Drinky Crow - Ha. That was a clean return. You sound like Trolly Y2K. Besides, if the kicker doesn't miss a chip shot field goal, A*M might have tied it up & sent it to overtime. Happy Black Friday nonetheless.
I liked your Miley/Polanski tie in, but I think she's a bit old for him. haha
I plan to a. avoid shopping unless it's online today, b. go to work and c. never eat again. ha
I like the pics, but after Thanksgiving, no one wants to be naked. No one. lol
Have a good weekend :)
Now where's that Pilgrim Heff?
Conan was quoting from Psalms, methinks.
Lambert's sole reason to exist is to give Euro-Trash a reason to call Americans "homophobic". The only "discrimination" he suffers is from those with discriminating taste in music.
Lopez picked a good place to fall on her ample buttocks. The News didn't even mention it.
Lindsay's Mom called "People" because The Troll Report and the Kalamazoo Gazette no longer consider her daughter newsworthy.
All the neighboring Alpine Chalets used to belong to Rich Nazi War Criminals. The Swiss spent 40 years "deciding whether or not to extradite them" until they ran out of money. They'll be similarly deliberative with Roman.
I've never actually heard Miley Cyrus speak, but it wouldn't surprise me if you captured her perfectly.
Yes, she's too old from Roman.
Jlee - Ha. YOu're probably right about Miley/Roman. Stay away from shopping, and there should be a 1 week break between sessions after Turkey Day. Happy Friday & Heff is probably out there somewhere . . .
Troll Y2K - Appreciate the detail, so always love the quote from Conan or the Psalms (movie is good too), thought about using a discriminating taste in music line myself so thanks for that, I think I picked up the story off the News, I was thinking that People is getting really desperate for stories, deliberative is an excellent word for that & interesting Alpine history, and I'm guessing you're right on Miley/Roman and on her speaking abilities.
Re: Arnold's quote. I believe he was talking about the citizens of California.
You're in fine form this week B. I laughed all the way through this but here's my favourite line....
Lohan is Thankful that her mother continues to confuse "working" with "partying" and hopes she doesn't notice the special white flakes sprinkled on top of the mashed potatoes.
You gotta love that family. They are ALL in a continuous state of delightful confusion. It's kind of endearing in a dysunctional kind of way.
Hope you had a great Thanksgiving and enjoy the weekend.
Wendy - Ha. You might be right there. I had to laugh at that bill he rejected or something where he sent the letter back to the designer where it spelled out Fuck You. It was just kind of juvenile yet funny. Happy Black Friday.
Gypsy - Thanks, and you are right about that family as I can't even imagine dealing with that kind of drama and dsyfunction all the time and I'm thankful I don't have to. Thanksgiving was great, although I'm tired of even seeing food right now. Happy Black Friday.
Did you watch the AMA's? Because I'm on the West Coast I got the censored version, but that was enough for me. Too bad, becasue I am (was?) an Adam Lambert fan and think he did a really dumb thing. Child-ish. And Jennifer Lopez's performance? Yah, she should have stayed home with her kids.
Did you have a good Thanksgiving? Enjoy your long weekend.
more retro porn please?
otherwise, happy Friday!
I have not kept up on any of this news so good to get it from you. Is Lindsay Lohan still "working". That girl hasn't done a good movie since Mean Girls. How does she get $$ for the drugs? I wonder when her sex tape comes out? eww...sorry that's a horrid thought.
I saw most of Lamberts performance but had to mute it half way through. I found his voice to annoy me more than the S & M shennanigans .... which if i'm being honest did not bother me in the least.
Boxer - That's right . . . I did read that the West Coast version was censored. I actually only watched about 5 minutes of the show, and missed Lambert. I think Childish is a great word for it though. Thanksgiving was good - too good - and now I'm ready to get back to the gym and some sort of normal routine. HOpe you enjoyed yours as well.
WIGSF - It's hard to find, but I'll see what I can do. Happy Friday to you.
Vivavavoom - I know. Mean Girls was pretty good, and she actually looked healthy then too. But that was a long time ago . . . who knows where she gets her money these days, and you might about right about the sex tape, although at this point, I wouldn't really want to see - unless it was really odd or dirty or something. Ha. Happy Friday Viva.
Miss Ash - I could generally care less about Lambert and the whole thing (and I still haven't heard his voice). But I do find it kind of amusing comcerning the uproar. Happy Friday.
Wow, I am so far behind on your blog! I love the new format...cool! Hope you had a great Thanksgiving and its back to the grind before Xmas...
I actually went shopping on Black Friday this year, although not until much later in the day. The stores were still crowded, but not mad-house crowded like I imagine they were early in the day.
hey! I'm totally diggin your new awesome layout. Very nice. Good job to who ever made it!
I'm back. Finally. I had issues, but I think* they are resolved. For now anyway. Hope you had a great holiday!
Symplyamused - Good to see you around, and thanks a lot on the format. I know what you mean about that grind as I'm neck-deep myself for the next few weeks. Good luck surviving as let's hope we all do. Ha.
Native Minnow - You are a brave man. But if I was going to go, it would be after the first wave had hopefully tired and gone home. I did most of my shopping online and plan to finish the rest in stores over the next few weeks.
KMWTHAY - Glad to hear things are settling down over your way. The OU game had to have helped. :) Hope you had a great holiday and thanks on the new format. I'll be over to check on things on yr. blog.